Running In Place

My foot feels, like, 90% better today.  It’s unbelievable considering how it looks.  Check out that cankle!

Honestly, when I first did it, I was sure I had broken something.  Once I got out of the frigid water, the pain was so bad I was nauseaus.  But I was able to put some weight on it and, with the help of a couple of the guys, gimped my way back to the raft.  Of course being the fake-tough chick I am I was all “it’s fine, I’m ok, no problem.”  But inside I was a little panicked.  I went out for dinner with the river guides afterwards and some ibuprofen, onion rings, and a couple of beers seemed to take the edge off the worry, if not the pain.  I was sure that I would wake up in agony this AM after several hours in bed allowed everything to stiffen up, but in fact I felt worlds better.  I’m stiff and sore all over, as to be expected, but as for the foot - by the end of today, and in spite of its grotesqueness, I was hardly even limping!  Halleluiah!  Now, I’ll be a good girl and bag the running schedule for this week (I couldn’t fit that appendege in my sneaker if I tried), but I’m really hopeful that this is not going to sidetrack me all that much.

In the end, even if I had busted bones, I wouldn’t trade the day.  You can sit on your couch and feel safe, but that’s no fun.  Besides, if it was me, I would eventually somehow sustain an injury from sitting on the couch.  So I might better make the most of it.    

Funny: frustrating? Funny: ironic? Funny: ha ha? 

Today I hit the whitewater.  Last week of the the Class IV-V north country spring run-off.  Good stuff.

(that’s not my gig, just a representation)

On the last rapid I went over, we all did.  Most generally, water isn’t too hard a hit when you just plop into it, so whether it was the rocks on the river floor or the 4 people who tumbled on top of me as the raft tipped my way, my left ankle/foot is fucked up.  I say ankle-slash-foot because the swelling and pain has not yet sorted itself out and so it’s mostly just one big swath of pain.  I don’t think it’s broken, I mean - I never have broken a bone proper so I don’t know, and I do think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain (it’s the catholic in me, we’re born to suffer), but I can wiggle my toes and I can bear weight (though I will confide to you that it hurts. like. hell).  So I’m RICEing like a good multiple-injury runner would and figuring that I will be making a trip to the doc tomorrow.  I suspect it’s a big ol’ sprain as I have had one of those before (unfortunately in the same leg). 

Right now I’m still adrenalized enough from the day (and have had enough beer and ibuprofen) to not be all bummed out that I just found my running rhythm again and am now, at least temporarily, fucked.  I mean, to keep it in perspective, I wasn’t going to let the spring season go by without taking this trip - and it was a good one!  You expect to get dumped in the (35F) water.  No harm, no foul.  Probably 9.9 of 10 don’t get injured.  Pretty much just me.  Go girl!

So, whatever.  Chances are I’ll be gimping in for an x-ray or somesuch tomorrow.  Chances are I’ll be volunteering for the next couple races.  I’m cool with that now.  Talk to me when the self-medication wears off.

That’s right!  After pre-registering and then pulling no-shows on three 5Ks since the start of this year, I finally got my race on - the first since communing with da boyz in July.  

As a race, the SUNY IT Scholarship Run was a nice one.  It all took place on campus roads and walkways with minimal traffic, the weather was cool (low 50s F), and there was what looked like a nice pancake breakfast afterwards (though I just grabbed a banana and hit the road).

The old man came with me, which was nice.  He’s actually gone on a couple short runs with me and might actually be toying with the idea of getting into it a little more.  I’m trying to play cool and not start making a hundred running and race plans for the two of us.  It’s kind of like when I sucked him into my web 16 years ago, I had to pretend I wasn’t interested in spending my life with him.  You see how it works.  In any case, being kind of pudgy and slow at this point, I was immediately laying the “I don’t belong here” rap on myself as I watched all the runners take their place - but Brian makes me brave.  He not only shored me up against my attempts at self-sabotage, but he actually convinced me to run the race in my tights without the pullover tied around my waist to hide my ass!  At first it was terrifying - I imagined much pointing and laughing - but in the end it was liberating.  I ran without concern for fashion, decency, or pantylines.  I don’t suppose it made me any faster, but it felt good to leave all the bullshit back behind the start line.

Thanks Daddy

As for the race itself, I’ll say it was harder than I anticipated - a loooong uphill grade in mile 2 and another uphill in the last 1/2 mile had me chugging.  In the end I actually finished faster than I had anticipated but the real news is that I’m hooked again.  Somehow, I fell out - from running, from racing, from caring much about it.  Now I’ve fallen back in - and it doesn’t feel like my many false starts in the past year.  Maybe it’s spring, maybe it’s an internal shift, maybe it’s finally the readiness to put some shit behind me.  Whatever, I’ll take it.  It feels like what I remember.  It feels really good.

Just when I think I’ve maxed out my animal credit with the old man, I’m somehow able to sweet-talk my way into ‘just one more’ something or other (he’s a pretty good guy).  These are my latest additions, Mommy Pig and Little Pig - a mother and daughter set that I acquired from some elementary school classroom where the life-cycle is observed but evidently not supported.  Perhaps securing homes for these animals before you multiply them would be a lesson in responsibility, hmmm?  In any case, I’m glad to have them - they’re terribly skittish but I think they’re slowly getting more comfortable with handling and food bribery.

Last weekend at this time it had been snowing all day long - and the worst was still forecast to come.  In the end, we didn’t get it as bad as the folks with tornados and massive flooding - 8 or 9 inches of wet heavy snow that was gone in 2 days time was about it.  This weekend 70s F and sunny.  Weird.  Nice, but weird.

I’m back out on the towpath, trundling along.  The swan couple on the old canalway have 2 or 3 eggs cooking.  Daddy Swan swims alongside me as I run past the homestead, in a beautiful ready-position that makes me fully aware that he could shoot up out of the water, overtake me, and be biting the shit out of my calves and thighs before I knew what hit me.  Today I wiggled into my running skirt for the first time as the temp was unseasonably warm.  I always dread this time of year - when the security of coverage is stripped away and I’m sure that the whole world is staring in disgust at my pastey white tree trunks.  When I bought the skirt last fall I was 10 lbs lighter (it’s been a winter of sparse running and excessive everything else) and it fit nicely.  Today - well, I might have been bordering on an R-rating.  I wrapped a microfiber pullover around my waist and felt a little less obscene.  I think I’ll withold any review of skirt performance until it actually fits me properly, though the only problem I had today was that the front of the waistband kept sliding down a little and leaving me with a plumber’s belly peeking out.  Oh, and I’ll have to dig out the Bodyglide again.  I will say that it beats the hell out of digging your shorts out of your crotch a hundred time a run any day of the week!  

So I’ve been following with interest VJ’s ETL explorations and was motivated to check it out further.  I’ve been trying to casually eat vegetarian-ish for the past couple of weeks and did end up dropping a few pounds.  I am now armed with all things veggie and ready to go a little deeper.  I don’t think I’ll miss meat, dairy, etc as much as I’ll miss convenience.  I grew up in a vegetarian household, but I never had to do the cooking so, you know, that makes it alot easier.  Plus, the old man is a devout griller once the nice weather hits.  Well, at least if he’s outside doing the bbq thing, I’ll have the kitchen to myself.

Have I mentioned that I turn 40 this year?  I find myself thinking about it quite a bit, though not in a negative way.  In the 80s, when I was in my late teens and early twenties I was a post-punk goth girl, smitten with my own nihilism.  I was sure that I wouldn’t live to see 30 and I didn’t care.  Now here I am…no more eyeliner, no more black clothing, no more piercings (though the tattoos remain).  I kind of miss that girl.  I don’t miss the mask, it’s nicer to live without pretense - I miss the energy, maybe even the anger.  Some little part of me misses doing lots of drugs and being wildly promiscuous, though the mature part of me recognizes that I’m not supposed to miss that.  Mostly, I miss being noticed.  That must be the Leo in me.  On the other hand, there’s alot to be said for becoming the person you already are, finding your own little corner of the world, surrounding yourself with people you love, and who love you, fully.  At 23 I would have told you that by now I would have been long dead.  At near 40 I will tell you that life is a lovely thing and it was well worth hanging around for.  I’m not the least worried about wrinkles or gray hair or the notion of aging.  You may want to check back here when I’m 50 though, it’s entirely possible my hair will be jet black and my nose will be pierced.