Running In Place

I just registered for this. I really should be cleaning the house right now, it generally gets me in alot less trouble.

Boy Howdy what a week! My very first week back at Hospice was a slam banger with some complicated and frustrating patient situations that took lots of time to sort out, but in the end we got the services coordinated for the folks that so needed them, despite the various obstacles. It felt so good to be back on familiar ground, with a supportive team whose attitude is ‘let’s problem solve this’ instead of ‘that’s just the way the system works‘ (which is part of the reason why I fled the hospital). In any case, it all felt damn great!

In other news: there is no other news, for the most part. Let’s break it down, shall we?

Swim: Yes, it’s weirdly true that I am getting totally into (the idea of) swimming. I have even negociated my work schedule so that I would have an hour for Open Swim 3 mornings a week before heading to the office. I didn’t start that practice this week but I’m signing my name to it right now - before gods and RBFers alike - beginning next week. Because, ultimately, I think I might really love being in the water - and I still find that hilariously ironic since I have labored nearly my entire life thus far under the exact opposite conception. Oh, and my instructor said that, despite my young advisor’s input, I had a very natural and appropriate stroke. I don’t know if that translates into efficient, fast, or competitive - but she was ok with my chicken wings and told me to continue to do what I’m doing. So I’m going to go with that for now and work on my endurance.

Bike: Yeah…no. I’ll admit, right now I’m all balled up about the bike. I’ve worked myself into a fit about taking it off the trainer and just doing it. I’ve imagined all the fully illustrated tragedies involving me, upside down in a ditch - shoes secure to pedals, multiple laughing spectators *could one of you snickering bastards call 911 please!* But, in the end, this is me. I psyche myself out till I bust through - and when I bust through is when nobody’s looking (you remember First 5K, right?) . So it’s gonna be some morning (sans frost, please) at 5:30 or so that I sneak out of the house and just say Devil Be Damned and ride down the road. Once that’s passed, I’m golden. Oh, and I got a supercool e-mail of encouragement from a local rider so that was a most awesome boost for me! Thanks Local-K.

Run: Not. At. All. And this sucks in a hard and real way because it’s getting about time to start Boilermaker training. Fact of the matter - The Knee. Something’s still so wrong. I can go 2 weeks with not a twinge, then - on some random day - gimping pain. Some other time - hmmm, feels a little sore. Stairs - always a twinge there. Even, the other day, soreness after swimming!

>>>To my KNEE: dude, that’s not weight bearing! I am so trying to accomodate your prima donna bullshit with this triathlon training type stuff so leave me the freak alone when all I’m doing is splashing around and being weightless!!!< <<

So. I saw my doc again and he couldn’t feel fluid so next up is an MRI. Hopefully not to be followed by a ginormous needle that makes me cry - though, if that’s what it takes, I’m down with it. You guys will hold my hand, right?

One last thing. Once they start offering them in XL (that’s right!!), I will totally be checking out a Running Skirt. Probably anyone who reads about what I’m doing or not doing already knows about what our good friend Mark is doing. Firstly, he motivated me to get off my checkbook and commit to give some actual support to a charitable organization that means something to me, rather than thinking about it but not following through. I love him for being secure enough to take himself in good humor and turn it into something meaningful. Secondly, the idea of a running skirt totally intrigues me - not because I attach any notion regarding sexual or feminist or misogynist or other perspectives to it - but because it would be damn nice to not have to pick my shorts out of my crotch for a change. If being a “Girly Girl” is a byproduct of that - well, worse things could happen. I’d pretty much dress in a Coolmax chicken suit for that.

****And big big thanks to Susan (see Running Skirt Review) for a very helpful review and perspective.****

Another swim class in the can! Last night I got some personal coaching from a high school student who is a competitive swimmer, lifeguard, and newly certified instructor. He was a little shy at first but I really pushed him to tell me what I was doing wrong with my strokes - because I was sure there was plenty. He finally told me I had a “chicken wing” front crawl (I bring my bent elbow out of the water on the upstroke rather than following through with a straight arm). How cute is that (the kid, not my chicken wings - well, maybe the chicken wings are a little cute too). He told me all about how his coach makes him do 20-25’s - whatever the hell that is, and then jump out and do push-ups. And that I should do push-ups *snort* because it will help my stroke. And if I really want to build endurance I should blah blah blah. But if I want to gain speed I should blah dee blah. You can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm - but it can be given freely: I managed a few chicken-free strokes, then went home and did 10 push-ups (girl push-ups but it’s a start).

In case you’re wondering why I’m not mentioning the bike, it’s because I’m too ascared to take it off the trainer. The notion of snapping my feet into the pedals while trying to maintain forward motion, and my center of gravity, is freaking me out. A lady from the local bike club has kindly offered to come out with me and give me some pointers. All I have to do is pick up the phone and get the hell out there. And not tip over. I’ll get there.

Dear esb in minneapolis,

If you have the endurance to read my entire blog, running will be a breeze. Your words were very kind, and I’m glad if my words were in some way helpful to you. Tremendous congratulations on quitting smoking! I’ve probably said this a hundred times but I was a smoker for 13 years, and at 3 packs a day by the time chronic bronchitis made the things that I still loved about smoking fade behind a constant, harsh cough. That was 9 or so years ago and I remember standing in the middle of the kitchen - 7 weeks since my last smoke - and crying bitterly to my husband that I would NEVER enjoy anything fully again. Coffee, beer, dinner, a movie, sex - all the things that were parenthisized by a cigarette - would be empty ever after. I can say for certain now that this was not true and that the loss of that old friend was worth the while but dammit if it wasn’t hard. So good for you for quitting, and good for you for running. I didn’t do much but eat Twizzlers when I quit.

Have you read any other running blogs? There are tons of great ones - some of which are on my sidebar. If you haven’t, I encourage you to check them out. Have you contemplated a blog of your own? I never considered myself a public person, hardly even social, really - but I’ve gotten so much support, and advice, and then more support. This community kept me running more than once when I thought I might shitcan it. If you are so inclined, I’d be happy if you kept me posted. If you click on Running In Place - Part One, under my pic, then click on View My Profile on that page, you can find the link to my e-mail address (I know, it’s a damn labyrinth).

So. Again, thanks for your comment because, well, it made my day. You know, most of the time, I’m just putzing along - unclear, unsure, waiting for nirvana - it all only seems important to self-involved me. I know all the times that so many other blogs were so motivating and fortifying to me so, if that’s my blog to someone - well, that’s just freakin’ cool.

Yeah, I know, it’s not an Academy Award but…..thanks.

good running wishes on ya,
~ Lara

From Wikipedia:

In physics, buoyancy is an upward force on an object immersed in a fluid (i.e. a liquid or a gas), enabling it to float or at least to appear lighter. Buoyancy is important for many vehicles such as boats, ships, balloons, and airships.

And me!!

You guys! Not only am I buoyant, I can swim! And…I think I might love it!!!

What’s really interesting about this is that, for nearly all of my life, I have labored under my own belief that I was afraid of water. I’m not sure where it originated but I think it was a mishmash of experiences and perceptions - including a frightening experience in swim class as a kid, recurring drowning dreams that lasted from childhood into my early 20’s, and maybe even a little residual effect from too many youthful viewings of Jaws. In any case, the operative words here are kid…childhood…and youthful. The past being interpreted as the present.

It’s not that I’ve never gotten wet, but the rare times I would tiptoe into a pool - or especially a lake - I would feel the strange creeping panic start to well up and soon enough I was exiting the water in the slow overly controlled manner of someone who is fighting a major freak-out. This has been different. I’m not sure if it’s a new resolve, the cool instructor, or the fact that the YWCA pool is a 7-foot at its deepest, teeny tiny pool in which it takes 88 laps to equal a mile. Since there’s only 3 of us in the class, the instrutor can move us each at our own pace. This week was my second class and she had me swimming lengths. After class I told her about my tri-aspirations and she said that she would work with me on form and mostly have me do laps during class rather than keep me treading water with the others < --ahem, pun. See I’m in a way-beginners class because I thought I couldn’t swim, but it turns out there was a sad little mermaid in me all along. With big soulful blue eyes. And a narrow little waist.

So. In a couple of weeks I will be returning to Hospice (to make a short story shorter, I figured out that, despite everything, it’s where my heart is) and my schedule will be such that I can do some AM laps at least a few times a week. How hard does that rock! I can’t contemplate how it will be someday when I get into some gigantor pool or *shiver* open water, but for now I can try my best to rule the kiddy pool at the Y.