Running In Place

You know, when I’m running, I can’t spit worth a damn. It’s a sight more reminiscent of drooling and always involves some chin wiping. It’s damn humiliating. Nose blowing on the fly, however, seems to be one of my few natural talents. I don’t even have to hold one nostril, I don’t have to wipe my upper lip – man, I get distance. Hell, I might even be able to hit a target. I’d take first in my age group on that one, lemme tell ya. Yeah.

I know I’ve been complaining about the lack of winter weather around here. And I’m not going to stop, but I also think I should look on the sunny side and acknowledge a little gratitude for the pleasant aspects of this f-ed up weather pattern. Today? 48F for heaven sake! And, for the first time in more than a week – no wind. This was the first day that I felt like I was regaining and that was cool. For the first 25 of the planned 50 minutes I just fell easily into a faster rhythm than than I have been and it was so damn encouraging! On the way back in I purposely slowed down but even that was at a faster pace then I’d been going previously. To give you an idea: the first 25:00 was at a pace ranging between 1:30-2:00 faster per mile than I’ve run in the last several runs. And the second 25:00 was :30 to 1:00 faster – and pretty manageable. So Jack was quite right in his last comment when he said “you?ll be out there one day and everything will click.” Cheers to clicking.

Another pleasantry about this run was listening to a cool new podcast! I’m not a triathlete and, at this point anyway, don’t feel compelled to it, but I dig listening to Wil and Kahuna talk about stuff that motivates me just the same. I think they had a great first show and am looking forward to many more. Check it out, if you haven’t already!

Ok, on that note I’m off to sit down with the fam and finally watch Saint Ralph.

C’mon Annalisa, let’s go baby!!

Man, I thought it was going to happen yesterday. I thought we were going to get our snow back. Somewhere around 2 PM, the freezing rain started to change over as the temperature started to drop. I threw on my silk long johns, fleece, and sneaks (and a few other items as well) and headed for the towpath to welcome the white stuff properly. The temp was mild, just enough below freezing to say so, but the gusts were really stong and it seemed like I was constantly fighting the shifting wind, so it was slow going – but felt great nonetheless. About this time that wonderful winter weather was teasing me, my tall handsome UPS dude was leaving a little token of affection in my garage (as pictured above). So. Every thing was falling into place. Right?

Wrong.

Sigh

So let me tell you something about my running. I lost alot. In the 2 months that I dicked around, I lost alot – of speed, fitness, confidence. You know, the whole time I was lazing around and just doing a run here and there, I just assumed that when I decided to really get going again things would just fall back into the place they were. Maybe not exactly where they were, I expected a little loss – but wow! Now that I’m back to running regularly, it’s humbling. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I’m the one who made the choice to put aside all my hard work and rest on my laurels (however few they may have been ). I’m just beginning again…again. Oh, and the psoas bursitis has started again. Back to the chiropractor.

In other life – I still love my new job on the cardiac unit! You know, there was much about my job at hospice that I loved, though after awhile it did overwhelm me, but one of the professional drawbacks of that particular job was that you tended to not use (and keep sharp) many of the nursing skills and assessments that are utilized in the clinical setting. Not to say that there isn’t specialized skill and knowledge to hospice nursing because there certainly is, but I felt the loss of things like not being confident to start an IV or read an EKG or even do CPR. So anyway, when I decided to do something different, I wanted to get back what I’d felt I’d lost, and I wanted to learn more more more – but I was scared! When I got up on that unit and thought about starting my first IV after nearly 5 years, I was sure my hands were going to shake – they shook thinking about it! When I sat down to do it, it was like oh yeah, my hands remember this, and I did it. Now things are rolling back into my head and my hands like crazy – plus I’m cramming new stuff in there – so it’s very exciting!

Maybe after not too long, my heart and legs and lungs will remember what they knew too. Maybe I haven’t lost so much as I’ve allowed it to sleep. Time to wake up.

I forget that Chicken Riggies is kind of a Utica specialty (along with tomato pie, pusties, and Italian greens ). Is it any wonder I’m always struggling with my weight!

So for those of you who want a taste East Utica…

Chicken Riggies

1 stick butter, melted
1 onion minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
20 oz. jar of sweet peppers (sliced with seeds removed)
3 sliced hot cherry peppers (packed in jar with oil)

Saute above ingredients.

Add:

1 cup parmigiano cheese
2 lbs. boneless chicken breast, cubed
1 can chicken broth
1 can tomato sauce (15 oz)

Cook for 1 hour. Pour over 1 1/2 boxes of cooked Rigatoni pasta. Serve with fresh Italian bread.

This recipe was copied from this site. Often, mushrooms are also added (which I like alot), and sometimes black olives (which I like not one bit). I’m also partial to heavy on the hot cherry peppers!!

So I hope I’ve cleared up the mystery, and also given you a new way to carbo load!

How could I have thought that I fell out of love with running? Thank heavens that running is so patient and forgiving, and welcomes me back when my fickle heart sees its mistakes.

It was 46F today and sunny. This is some amazing shit for central NY. Not that we’re the arctic or anything but we can have some pretty intense weather in the winter, fueled by the lake effect. The winter started off in the usual manner but has really crapped out at this point. There are areas down the hill where I am seeing grass!! I suppose I should appreciate and enjoy these nearly spring-like days because it could all change in an instant. If it doesn’t, what the hell am I gonna do with my new snowshoes!!

Anyway, my last few runs have been in lovely weather, and I have been able to get back to the towpaths as there’s no snow or ice to navigate. It’s just like freakin’ summer – people walking their dogs, biking, running in shorts (not me – not just yet). I’ve just been relaxing, with no worries about speed or distance, catching up on the old episodes of Phedippidations that have been sitting on my mp3 for a little while and enjoying the being of it all. Sooner or later I’ll have to go run up some hills to get ready for the Chilly Chili. Last year, this was my first 5K, ever – either racing it or even running the distance. I am really looking forward to running this particular race again, not because I’ll probably run it in a little better time, but because it is such a warm reminder to me of what it felt like to begin. Now, in a less dramatic sense, I’m doing a little beginning again. So it’s fitting that this should be the first race of a new era.
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In other news, I’ve worked the night shift for the past 2 weeks (6:30 pm – 7:00 am) and have found that running on 3 or 4 hours sleep isn’t quite as terrible as you might think (well, just ask Wil, she of the not-so-much-with-the-sleep-and-still-training). In fact, it takes away that hangover feeling and makes functioning for the rest of the day quite tolerable. I think I’m going to stick with the day shift for the most part and just swing a nightshift or two now and then if they need me. Nightshift involves alot of Sleep Management, wherein I actually have times marked on my calendar when I will sleep and when I will not sleep so that I can be tired enough to sleep some other time that I need to. It’s very complicated.
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Ok, lastly – Siouxsie tagged me for four of some things, so let’s just see how fascinating I am…

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
Legal Secretary – dictation and will typing is a drag
Bartender – Coyote Ugly style. No. Not really
Manager of a mall food court store called The Great Hot Dog Experience
Nurse – the hot kind with the short white dress and fishnets. Ok, again I’m lying.

Four movies you could watch over and over:
Sid & Nancy – but I can’t watch it when my husband is around because it always makes him cry
Super Troopers – that shit’s just plain silly
Night of the Living Dead – seriously – Romero rocks!
Any Kevin Smith movie – except I haven’t seen Jersey Girl so dunno about that.

Four places you’ve lived:
Westmoreland, NY
Utica, NY
Waterville, NY
Floyd, NY
(All within the same county – I don’t get out much)

****OMG, I am so tired of finding links for all this stuff! And not that you even asked for them, right?? You so know that if you want to know more about anything from this point on you can just google it – that’s all I ever do. I’m going to rest now. ***

Four TV shows you love to watch:
The Office
My Name is Earl
Family Guy
Six Feet Under

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
Cincinnati
Ireland
Tampa
Nebraska

Four websites you visit daily:
Bloglines – and subsequently many RBF sites
Barnes & Noble.com
Utica OD.com (local paper)
Mid York.org (local library site)

Four of your favorite foods:
Chicken wings hot enough to make your eyes water
Hot peppers
Chicken Riggies
Heidelberg (local bakery) sunflower raisin bread

Four places you’d rather be:
I actually love where I am right now – love my house, love my town, love my job – so four places I’d like to visit are:
Alaska
Scotland
Oregan or Washington State
Grand Canyon

Four albums you can’t live without:
Black Eyed Peas – Monkey Business
Warren Zevon – Life’ll Kill Ya
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – Your Funeral, My Trial
Peter Murphy – Should the World Fail to Fall Apart

Four vehicles I’ve owned:
‘74 Dodge Custom Deluxe pick-up truck
‘74 Chevy Nova
‘80 Mercury Bobcat – yes, I am that cool
‘90 Jeep Wrangler

I don’t know if most everyone has done this already – I’m usually the last to get around to things. But if you haven’t done it, and you care to, please do. I love reading this stuff on other people’s blogs!

Ok, here’s the real story. The story of why I, more or less, stopped running over the past several weeks – and when I did run, it was joyless. It’s probably all pretty obvious stuff to the rest of the running world but it’s probably a good insight, for me, into what motivates me. Which I am continually learning.

Why the stall? Why the silence? Why the angst? Cause after the half I got me a coach. What’s this?? you say, Aren’t coaches supposed to make you better, rather than suck? Aren’t they supposed to encourage you to run, instead of curling up on the couch with a plate-load of microwave s’mores? You’d think, huh?

So, you know, here I am after the half, and I’m thinking What’s next?? Which is a great way to think! Granted, I was a little deflated now that my immediate goal had been met and I was feeling kind of directionless but the feeling of Yeah baby! Let’s go!!! was right there too. Marathon came to mind, of course – and that was fun to think about – but I wasn’t quite ready to embrace that notion. I wanted to improve over the winter months in a measurable way and that logically led to speed. I wanted to get faster but I wanted to do it in a non-stupid way, where injury-prone me wouldn’t blow out a quad or something while doing speedwork. So I signed up with an on-line coach whose newsletters I’d been getting for awhile. I told him my history of running thus far, and my goals. He was encouraging and enthusiastic and I was totally psyched to begin this new endeavor in self-improvement.

Now let me say that this really isn’t about criticizing the coach. There were a few things that I was not totally happy with, but ultimately, he did what coaches do – he pushed me. And I did PR (I think) after I started running his plan. But there were a couple of things that were troublesome – and again, not necessarily a fault of his. First off – I am conservative. Maybe the upshot is that if you really want to rock you can’t be conservative (I’m not sure I believe that but it also depends on your definition of “rock” ). I am really afraid of injury! I have been ever since the stress fracture. I’m not the first person to have a running injury and I certainly am not the person with the worst of injuries ever. But I know that I don’t want to mess around with it again if I ever can help it. I think I’ve downgraded myself from hysterically paranoid to generally worried, and I consider that progress. Secondly, his plan basically entailed run fast every day. There were various degrees of painful – the hill day was slow up/fast down, the long day was run above comfortable and speed up at the end, and the other 2 days were run fast and then run faster with the post script that “this should hurt.” I’m sure this is very likely what having a coach is all about – they’re supposed to push you farther. Continued insult results in adaptation – or extinction.

The upshot is that, though I physically didn’t get injured, I totally, mentally, burned out. And pretty quickly too. There was no joy. I won’t pretend that running a faster 5K didn’t feel awesome – it totally did! But, for me, getting there kind of wasn’t worth the while. What does that mean?? It’s hard: I want to just run, and be able to just love the running but I also want to get better – the more I do, the more I want to do. What I need to do is define my own concept of better. And I guess I am doing that, this whole experience has been part of that. Because how fast or far I run means something to me – it means enough to me to want to make it better – but the subtle and wonderful intangibles of running, that which makes me love it and seek it out and feel more whole because of it, are wrapped up in the doing of it. The process and the goal are inextricably entwined. This is not to say that I will never run an uncomfortable run again, that I won’t push myself to go faster or farther towards my goals – cause there’s love there too. So my one word (late in coming but, for me, worth the wait) for 2006 is: BALANCE. There’s so much I want to do, and I’m ready to work hard for it – but not so hard that I forget why it really matters.
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Briefly, I ran today in nearly 40F weather! This is generally the time of our January sub-zero period, and yet I was out in a fleece with no gloves. And the sun came out. And the trail was nearly clear of snow. And it was pretty much the first day that I felt the love again, and I was so grateful that I was able to be patient enough to keep at it until it came back around to me.
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Susie (Susan) – yes I’m slowly adjusting – tagged me for some FOUR THINGS things and I have them all typed up and rareing to go but I’ve gone on long enough for now. Maybe my New Year resolution should be to have my posts be more often and less lengthy (though I’m sure this idea would be very upsetting to David ). So next time with the Four Things. And more about running. Cause I’m doing it. And I’m loving it.