Running In Place

So here’s something cool: turns out that the “Race Day” quote at the top of my motivational poster was actually authored by Wil herself! For me, having seen the tremendous amount of work she puts forth and her resulting accomplishments, that quote has become all the more meaningful. Thanks Wil!

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My husband told me about a recent management meeting in which he said, just to be a dick, “we should have a paperwork kaizen. Since this is evidently some kind of buzzword in industry nowadays, it was soundly embraced by all present. So this weekend Brian, in preparation for winter, had a garage kaizen and a basement kaizen. I had a file cabinet kaizen and a bookcase kaizen. My son had a wake up at noon and sit on your ass in front of the computer kaizen. We’re all very enlightened.

So my bookcase is looking a little more feng shui but a few running books need new homes. E-mail me at LJanine at aol dot com if you are interested in any of them, they’re yours for the taking on first come, first served.

The Courage to Start by John Bingham edit: Spoken for

No Need for Speed by John Bingham edit: Spoken for

Marathoning for Mortals also by John Bingham edit: Spoken for

Run Right Now by Joe Henderson

Chi Running by Danny Dreyer

I’ve also got various books on death & dying and pain management at the end of life, as well as one on Zen S_x (um, it was a gift) that you’re welcome to, but I figured this was a pretty specific crowd.

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You know, I was going to end here but I am feeling talkative tonight (and my husband is being kind of a crab after all his kaizening (hmmm, I’m not sure that’s the desired outcome). Anyway, let me say this about my new job: I think I’m really gonna like it! Everyone is very welcoming and supportive, and my preceptor is this incredibly kind and gentle lady with nearly 20 years of nursing under her belt! Let me tell you, in the hospital setting, you do not always get as lucky as I am with the unit I am on and the nurses I am working with.

So. On my first day, my patient coded. She got restarted, she got vented, she’s back on the ICU. She is a lovely lovely lady and I got to spend a very nice day with her, and at the end it all fell apart. Without warning. It’s so strange - all of this intervention. I have spent the last 4 years being present for people as they disengaged from all the intervention, and now I’m administering it. I’m not making a judgement, it’s just a mindset and a response that I have to re-learn. And, of course, since I started on the unit - doing three 12.5 hour shifts a week, I’m being called on more and more at Hospice to get ready to train the nurses on clinical bedside computing. Suddenly, I’m finagling to get one day off a week, although I guess I’ve got no business complaining. In truth, I’m enjoying being busy and looking forward to all the new stuff I’m going to learn!

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So what about running?? I don’t think I’ve really talked about what I’m currently up to in awhile. Practically speaking, I think it deserves a post of its own. I would tack it on here but things could get really long and I know that some people have a low tolerance for that With a few stumbles due to post 1/2 M blahs and then new job interference I’m pretty much getting out there and have a few future plans formulating. Oh yeah. Big Plans.

That is all.

Some time ago, Chris talked about the motivational posters he would create to help him visualize goals. At the time, I thought it was a great idea! I went out and bought a big ol’ posterboard and thought alot about what I wanted to fill it with. I scoured magazines for pictures and phrases that I thought might make me feel strong and willing and inspired. I mostly ended up thumbing through back issues of Runner’s World. Not that endless pictures of sweating hardbodies (contained mostly in the advertisements) aren’t something to aspire to, but it all began to look the same. I cut a few out but I didn’t end up pasteing them to that virgin cardboard surface. I couldn’t - they weren’t the image of me. So I hung it up, blank, because rather than having a finished product I wanted a work in progress. Yeah, that’s the image of me.

So here it is. Beginning: Early 2005. End: None in sight.

I don’t know how clearly it will all translate, but here’s the overview (in chronological order):
* In the upper left corner is the first thing I ever placed on the poster - Dianna’s post on an Open Letter to Running. Running had not yet taught me all of those things, but I was hopeful it would.
* The next addition was the picture in the upper right corner

She is the only picture, other than one of myself, that I’ve put up so far. She was not anyone famous - just a runner chick modeling some winter duds. I loved her. Not because she represented a body that I wanted to emulate or a perceived speed that I aspired to, but because she just looked damn tough. She visually portrayed an inner confidence that I envied. She didn’t get up in the morning and think “am I really a real runner??” - she just got up and ran. I needed her stern gaze and unyielding posture to remind me that I could be tough too.
* Below her is a column of geometric shapes that contain a piece that I copied from the sidebar of Wil’s page. It related to doing what needed to be done vs. collecting reasons why you didn’t. I pasted it up around the late winter/early spring time of this year, when I was going through a difficult transition in my career and a real flat spot in my running. It was meaningful to me in both areas.
* Next, in the upper-mid area, is another quote lifted from Wil’s sidebar. I put that up when I started my Boilermaker training. I’d never really been “in training” for anything before and that race was so very important to me. That quote was the daily reminder of why the sacrifices were worth the while.
* A little bit below that is a small square box with a picture of a fortune in it that relates to rising again out of the ashes of our mistakes. It was also taken from our good Wil who clearly has a knack for finding just the right words. I pasted it to the posterboard after my unhappy first 10K.
* Near the center is my Boilermaker race bib! That race was my first big goal and a real defining moment in my confidence as a runner.
* I can’t remember the order of the next 2 items as they were placed at close times and represented the same thought.
- The photo at the bottom is me, just before crossing the finish at the New Haven 5K. It may not be real clear for viewers at home, but I can see in that picture (and clearly remember) that I am struggling. I like this picture alot because not only was that race a PR at the time, but it was also the first time in a long time that I left it all out there. So it’s a much less flattering picture than the Boilermaker finish line, in which I was all smiles - but it also represents something completely different and even more important to me.
- To the left of the photo is a quote from George Sheehan that found me right around the time I was contemplating the acute discomfort of racing and the chronic discomfort of training for my first 1/2 Marathon. I thought it nicely expressed a bit of the why?? that I was so often asked by others, and sometimes wondered myself.
* In the far lower left is the text from 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 as narrated by Steve Runner. I’m not sure what translation it is, though it certainly sounds like a modern one. I listened to him read this, via his wonderful podcast, on my second-to-last long run before the half and it just really moved me. When we checked into our motel before the race, I pulled out the Gideon bible from the bedside drawer and marked that page.
* Lastly (so far), in the far right corner is the race bib from my awesome first half M. So far, that’s been the Big Daddy but I hope to put a full M bib up there sometime next year.
* Oh, and of course, hanging from the left corner is the my 1/2 M medal.

So that’s it. My little museum of running. I’m glad I stopped and took a snapshot of it because someday it will be full and it will be time to take it down and put up another blank page. Or I could leave it up - I’ve got a little time to convince my husband that a bedroom wall filled with posterboard is a legitimate and tasteful form of decoration.

** Here’s giant-view of the poster, in which the text is pretty much legible. **

Really, how could I resist??

Lara needs to get to Shanghai
Lara needs to make the running water around a small barn stop so
the demon can escape
Lara needs to use stealth just as much as she does combat maneuvers and jumps
Lara needs an interactive way to teach kids about different foods,
animals, and common household items
Lara needs another 86 runs to become the first player to reach 1000 runs for the 2004 calendar year
Lara needs neither on the side of the server nor on the side of the control station additional configuration expenditure
Lara needs a change
Lara needs to be stronger
Lara needs to come to the party, if only to pull the plug on the disco
Lara needs to keep the pieces from the enemy, or hide them, or something
Lara needs a trained therapist to get her to confront the psychological link between this homely tomb-edifice and her tomb-raiding exploits elsewhere
Lara needs a powerful nose or something, because right now she looks like the girl next door
Lara needs to obtain information so she needs to avoid blowing away folks before she talks to them
Lara needs to return illegally to that country
Lara needs your vote!
Lara needs a top finish at the tournament just to play in golf’s oldest championship, the British Open
Lara needs the very best in communications
Lara needs to get this out asap
Lara needs to swing into a large coffin
Lara’s needs are provided for by a faithful butler
Lara needs to meet some guys who are more to her liking
Lara needs her hair trimmed
Lara needs to be particularly feminine
Lara needs some help

First of all, I’m alive and well! I have been pretty busy with work - I started at the hospital, though I won’t be up on the unit for another week or so. Right now it’s mind-numbing classroom orientation and my back is bothering me terribly from sitting in rigid plastic chairs all the day long. The week prior to starting, the weather was beautiful and I got to spend alot of time outside. My sister, her family, and I scaled (ok, walked up) Bald Mtn. (elv. 2350 ft.) one day, and another day I took a solitary hike up to Trenton Falls. Both times, I got to see leaves more beautiful than we’ve had in at least a few years. I sure do love autumn! Here’s some mountain climbing pics and here’s some pics of the falls.

Since then, it has been cold, rainy, and windy for 9 days straight.

Ok, so let me talk about my race yesterday, and my dilemma. This was the first running of a 5K to benefit the programs at the local YWCA and was to take place primarily in Proctor Park. Though mostly flat, the paved paths that wind through the park do have a few small rolling hills, so I was not expecting to even come close to my fast-and-flat New Haven time. Plus, with some girl-related aches and pains, and the seemingly endless dreary weather seeping into my psyche, I was feeling crabby and unmotivated. Not at all exciting, a chore in fact. But I dragged my cranky self up and out.

Fast forward to the start of the race. Dark and overcast but at least not raining. 53F (actually warmer than it had been in a few days) and the wind had let up. We set off and I spent the first half mile going too fast, but when the people thinned out I slowed to what felt like a more reasonable pace to start with. At the first mile marker I hit my watch: 9:19. What??? That totally cannot be true! Even with the fast start, I was not feeling the level of effort I would have expected for what is, for me, pretty damn fast! I did slow a little more, if this was true I didn’t want to flame out in the second mile.

Pretty soon I came up on D. This is the 77 year old lady who always beats me. That’s right, my race day nemesis is seventy freakin’ seven years old. Wipe that smirk off your face. You may remember that the only time I ever beat D. was when she had to drop out of a race because her pacemaker was acting up. So that was kind of an empty victory. We chatted for a bit and she said she had a new pacemaker. Drat! Now what chance do I have? We ran a bit together until we came up on an older gentleman and they started chatting. I thought here’s my chance! and I pulled ahead. I did hear him say that he thought the first mile felt a little short, which I agreed with but it was still disappointing. I finished the second mile in 9:58, which certainly seemed more realistic.

I was glad to find that I had sufficient energy to speed up for the last 1.1 and was able to pass a few people, including kicking by one person in the finishing stretch. I had looked at my watch and saw that it said 28:xx so I just poured it on. In the end, my watch said 28:57!! What? That beats New Haven by 34 seconds - with some hills, on a day that I feel like sh!t. Hmmmm. And here’s the kicker(s) - I beat D. by, like, more than a minute - and I don’t want to hear anything about your age-adjusted nonsense David! Just cause she’s 39 years older than I am and has an appliance in her chest that reminds her heart to beat and most days can smoke my a$$ doesn’t mean she gets cut any breaks! Eat my dust lady!! AND I placed first in the F35-39 AG!!!! Granted, there were only 78 runners - who knows, I might have been the only one in that AG, but it was kind of cool nonetheless. I didn’t hang around for the awards so I found out when a friend of my sister’s who was there called to let me know. She’s going to make sure I get my award, a silver rape whistle. No I am not kidding. It is the YWCA after all.

So here’s the dilemma. After the race, I heard quite a few people speculating that the course was short. No one seemed to have a notion of by how much, just that I was not the only person reflecting surprisingly fast times. The local running club administered this race for the Y and they certainly have put on plenty of races in their time, so I don’t doubt their expertise but I don’t know what to think. Should I count this as a PR? Unless the course was short by quite a bit, I know I still ran a good fast race, but is it really a best time? Dunno. So what do I do??

One last thing - back in the beginning of the year, the last of my many cats died. At that point, I was not so much of the mind to get any more cats and my husband was all onboard with that. But recently, I really got to missing having a kitty around the house, so I chipped away at the old man until he finally, reluctantly, said ok. Meet Junior. I got him from the local humane society - he is gigantic, and he purrs like crazy, and is a big cuddly love, and my husband won’t stop snuggling with him

Oops, one last last thing. Susan tagged me for the 5th sentence of my 23rd post. To put it in context - it was the post in July ‘04 announcing that the orthoped gave me clearance to start running again after the stress fracture. He was giving me the lecture about taking it slow and not repeating the same mistakes (duh):

He can caveat all he wants - I am very very excited!!

I haven’t been able to keep up on people’s blogs too well lately, so I will tag some folks and apologies if I’ve double-tagged you! Let’s hear from Jeanne, Ed, Jennifer, Dawn, and Riona.

When you get a chance, stop by and and say hi to a Jack who is not from Germany. He recently ran his first 5K and it sounds like the racing bug has bit - I totally relate! Keep up the good work Jack!

I really want to talk more about my post 1/2 M running and the awesome autumn week I had but that will have to come later. Anway, there’s plenty of great race reading to be done at Susan’s, Dianna’s, Sarah’s, Michelle’s, April Anne’s (c’mon AA, we’re dying to hear about it! ), and David’s.

You guys so rock!!