Running In Place

They’re gone. As of 15 minutes ago, the final truffle was consumed. Thanks to my finely honed passive-aggressiveness, I was sent home from New Haven with a (reusable!) Glad container filled with what, at the time, appeared to be a never ending supply of hand-made, bliss-you-out chocolate-ness! I stored them in the freezer because I was so sure that I was going to have them on hand for weeks to come, to delicately nibble on special occasions. Ok, in truth, I’m surprised they lasted this long.

Ways in which I enjoyed Jon’s truffles:

1. At room temp, as recommended
2. Frozen - in fact, with the freezer door open and my face stuck in as far as I could fit it so that my husband and son couldn’t see what I was doing. (No, I had no intention of sharing with them, and no, me with my head and shoulders stuck in the fridge or freezer is not that unusual of a sight so they didn’t really think much about what I was up to).
3. Microwaved, so that they were solid on the outside but I could poke my tongue through and actually slurp out the creamy warm chocolate inside.
4. With a spoon, when I left them in the microwave just a touch too long.
5. In a hormonal fit, with a big glob of peanut butter smeared all over.
6. With coffee (black).
7. With beer (dark).
8. Off the floor - no, I didn’t get down on my knees and eat off the floor (though it IS chocolate, so…). The very last freakin’ truffle rolled off the plate and under the counter. Yeah, I rinsed it under the faucet. Yeah, I ate it. Do I disgust you? Dude! It’s Jon’s truffles!!

Don’t judge me - come to New Haven next year and you’ll understand!

Race Morning -

Ok, I’m not going to throw stones here cause David is a supercool guy, and I’m not just saying that, but if he’s the one with the alarm clock and therefore the task of waking up the rest of the house is his - be very specific about how you are accustomed to being roused in the morning. Because, given my druthers, I likely would not have chosen having an insanely bright hall light flashing on and off and a terse “time to get up ladies!” Oh no, that is certainly not what I am accustomed to. Other than that, though, he really is awesome - and I think we have come to an understanding

In spite of the trauma, Susan and I got up and at ‘em - along came Sarah and we convoyed off to New Haven (checking our watches along the way as we were ever so slightly behind). David patiently and expertly found parking spots, we fussed around deciding what to bring and what not to bring, and we were headed for church (well, the church where we were all meeting - we figured we’d take all the help we could get).

First stop - portajohns. Where it just so happened we met up with Dianna. Mission accomplished there, we went over to meet up with the gang. Jon and Bill present and April Anne and Michelle soon to follow. How fun - how totally awesome to have this gathering, of these people, about to embark on this race. Kind of like being new friends and old friends all at once.

Susan and I made our way to the 5K start line. We found ourselves a spot on the street but as more and more people started to line up behind us, I noticed that we were more towards the mid-pack front than the back of pack area that I generally gravitate toward. I expressed some concern about getting in the way of faster folks. I told Susan she didn’t have to move back with me but she kindly did. Even still, I was much farther up than I usually position myself, so I was a little concerned and planned to stay as far to the right as I could. I gave my usual speech about run your race and don’t feel like you need to run with me. Susan kindly responded that I’d probably be keeping up with her. But I knew she was going to rocket this race. She’d been back and forth about how much she was going to put into it but how the hell can you resist a clear cool morning and a flat as flat course. You can practically phone your PR in ahead of time! When the gun went off and and I lost sight of Susan within a minute’s time, I was totally squeezing for her!!

For myself - yes, I had a PR in my head. But it wasn’t a sure thing - my previous PR was on a dead flat course on a cool spring day. The difference here was nearly 4 more months of running experience. Honestly, I didn’t know how much difference that would make. The first mile felt unbelievably good! As Susan mentioned, there was alot of dodging and weaving. I mean, here I was, farther up in the pack than I’d ever been and worrying about slowing other people down, and I was passing people like crazy. And I was getting balled up by trying to get by slower runners and freakin’ walkers!! Nothing. NOTHING against folks who walk, I swear, but man, in the middle of the pack. That’s rough. Aside from that frustration, the first mile was great because I was passing alot of people and I was feeling good. I was not going through that first-mile-getting-into-the-groove thing and my race plan was just to run hard so, though I of course was not going all out, I was going harder than I usually do. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to time this - I had my watch set to time but I kind of decided in the first mile that I wasn’t going to look at my splits - just run. However, somewhere past the first mile (which I didn’t notice), I heard someone talking about having passed the first mile marker and couldn’t help but look at my watch - it was literally a reflex. The watch said 10:xx and I thought that I was going faster than that but I didn’t know how far past the mile we were so I just resolved to quit fussing. And I just ran.

It was flat, and it was fast. Alot of times when I am racing, I try to look around me - at the scenery. I thought well, here I am in New Haven, I should have a look around. But I didn’t so much, I just ran. I missed the 2nd mile marker, somewhat consciously, but there came a point when I just had that awareness that 2 miles had passed. When we turned down the last street (was it Whitney?) I knew there would be an end in sight - though it certainly was not actually within sight. I was getting to the point where I was seriously starting to get uncomfortable - that uncomfortable that really makes that feeling of I physically cannot do this another minute come to the forefront of your thinking. I was breathing really hard, and I was getting quite queasey and thinking damn, am I seriously going to throw up on a sidewalk in CT??. I didn’t look at my watch. I’m not going to look at my watch. But then—I heard the crowd, and I heard the announcer, and I saw a street light up ahead and I thought THAT’S IT!! So I did look at my watch and it said 26:xx and I thought I can’t believe it but HOT DAMN I’m gonna break 30!!!! So I ran hard - and then I got to that street light. Um, you guys, I need the finish line to be right here - right now. Oh dear.

It was right about there that someone on the sidewalk was hollering about 1/2 mile to go. Dude! Seriously? F-you, I hold you personally responsible for this!! Can I do this for 1/2 mile?? I’m puke-ready now! Damn. Ok. So there it was, one light, then another light, then - finally! I looked at my watch - I can’t even remember what it said, only that I knew that I was having to push it to break 30, and seriously wondering. When I crossed the mat and saw 30:24 on the clock, my heart sank a little. It was still a PR but, man, so close. It wasn’t till later that I even thought to look at my watch or consider that my chip time would be less given the amount of time it took to cross the start. I met up with Susan (who, as you know, had run an awesome race) and kind of tentatively said ‘I think I broke 30.’

And so I did. 29:31. Wow! I’m tickled, as you can imagine, but here’s what I’m taking away from this: I may well run some more 5K’s where I will not beat that PR because the course and weather conditions this day were so ideal and I may not encounter that again, just so, for some time. But here’s were the difference is really going to be - I have been struggling for awhile now with balancing sustained pace with hard effort when it comes to races. Ever since that 10K I have been reluctant to put myself out there in races because I am so terrified of flaming out. Putting it out there for this race was something entirely different than I’ve done in awhile and, though at the time it felt pretty shitty - what with the desire to dry heave and all - in the end it was that level of effort that made the difference. I’m not saying that I am going to run the 1/2 full out until I can’t take it no more, but I think I have gained a perfectly timely lesson here about putting out your all - performing to your absolute ability. This is a different revalation from the run-slower-in-training revalation so don’t get confused. The running gods work in mysteriouse ways. In the end, I love love love when I learn about running - learn about myself - like this. It’s exciting to me that there’s so much I don’t know!

To conclude, since I’m a quote junkie, a quote. The Friday before New Haven, I was scheduled for my longest run yet - 10 miles. I was nervous, hemming - hawing - stalling. I get this quote-a-day e-mail thing and there it is - and seriously, on that day, when it most needed to come, it was from the “running philosopher.” So I did that and I did this and here I am. And here it is:

“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.”

? George Sheehan

Doh!

More on post-race, etc. next time

Getting there -

Sunday was a beautiful day for a drive to CT! Warm, sunny, blue skies with puffy clouds - a perfect day for rolling down the window, playing the music loud, and singing along, loud & off key, with a big dorky smile on my face. Traffic moved along smoothly and the time from my door to Susan’s would have been about 3.5 hours except that I stop at nearly every rest stop. Stop here for gas, next stop for coffee, next stop for restroom. I love highway rest areas - the ones with the gift shops and C!nnabons and giant maps - all of the the people going somewhere. I imagine us all on our own little adventures. For me, it’s part of the fun of traveling.

Anyway, I arrived in Susan’s neck of the woods without incident. It was great to see her again, and in short order I got to meet David and Sarah. There was much nervousness and awkwardness on my part, but fortunately most of the rest of the world has some sense of social exchange so I rode those coattails and tried to keep my staring at the ground and shuffling my feet to a minimum.

The Expo -

We all piled into Susan’s car and Dietrich expertly chauffeured us the 40 or so minute drive to New Haven. We picked up our bibs and goody bags, did a little browsing and a little shopping. We planted ourselves smack in the center of the City Hall steps so there would be no missing us, and anxiously awaited arrivals. First came some chick in an orange shirt and cap with the biggest smile. Then came this dude with a cooler bag slung over his shoulder that smelled suspiciously chocolate-y. After hellos and hugs and I can’t believe it’s really yous! we headed to the pizza place to be joined by Dianna’s friends, Steve & Andrea.

You know the story: we ate the pizza and ate the pasta and then we ate some more pizza and pasta. As for the desserts, well, you’ve already heard about them a few times now but that doesn’t mean I’m going to spare you the delicious details again. Jon’s truffles: however good you imagined them to be - forget it, it couldn’t even come close to actually having one in your mouth! That good. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m bragging because I actually got to eat them but, yeah, I’m totally bragging. Sarah’s cookies: Her mom is my hero for having bestowed those awesome cookie recipes on her dear daughter! Super moist and chewy molasses cookies and a monster cookie with oatmeal, nuts, chocolate, and butterscotch chips that was nearly orgasmic. Sarah baked them to perfection - and ya gotta love a girl whose motto is There’s No Such Thing As Too Many Chocolate and Butterscotch Chips! I don’t know if she actually said that, but I could tell - oh yes, I could tell. Last but not least, Dianna’s cheesecake, complete with strawberries: we are talking about some serious, creamy goodness here! I could tell by the look in people’s eyes that they were actually contemplating licking the plate - no no, it wasn’t me projecting my own secret desires - they wanted it (I think I even saw Susan turn away from the table with the plate in her hands at one point and I’m pretty sure it was spotlessly clean when she turned back). I would totally not cook it for another 10 minutes, D.

With spirits high and bellies full we prepared to part ways until morning. Steve and Andrea kindly did the camera juggle so we could capture the carboload glow. If you look closely, you may see that we all have the top button of our pants undone (ok, just me I guess. Damn). After driving back to Susan’s, she, David, and I bid goodnight to Sarah and slipped into our PJ’s for a sexy pillow fight. Oh. Wait. That’s my letter to Penthouse. Never mind. Actually, we looked at all our pictures, talked race strategy (mine: run until you can’t run any more), talked life, and eventually hit the sack.

That’s it for now. I’ll talk about race day soon. Here’s some pictures to tide you over.

Oh man, was it ever!!! Did you hear about the meet up at the Expo on Sunday, where a bunch of people who share happysadgoodbadhopefear with each other daily through the window of a monitor, became flesh and blood to each other? You did? Well did you hear about those flesh and blood people becoming slightly fleshier after an evening of gigantic slices of thin crust pizza followed by the most amazing confections?? Oh, you heard that too? How ’bout this - did you hear about the race? Did you know that this bunch of people ran with each other and encouraged each other and cheered each other in? Then they ate loaves of bread and more of those awesome cookies, and some even had a refreshing AM beer. And then off they went, to their different parts of the state and their different parts of the country. Will it ever be the same when they read each other’s blogs? Now that they don’t see words and one-dimensional pictures, now that they see each other speaking - the voices, the expressions, the look of a smile or the sound of a laugh? Suddenly the world feels a little smaller, and a little more intimate.

That’s all for now. More to come, but I think I have to sleep off the remnants of that pizza hangover first. Thanks to Susan for a very flattering picture of me mowing down. If you could play it in streaming video you would actually see the belly roll enlarging!