Maybe I am learning….
The last several days have been a lot of time wasted on one of those internal struggles that really should not be taking place. The higher mind, the one which, in a phrase, knows better keeps disagreeing with the emotional mind - which rather than arguing, usually resorts to defiance, denial, and general clouding of the issue. And often prevails.
A little bit since the race, and moreso since the development run, there has been some ongoing and difficult to pinpoint pain in my left leg. It seems to be centralized in the groin area but refers all over the place - hip, mid-quad, inner thigh. It’s better after a few minutes of running and for a few hours after, but any other time - even when just sitting in a chair - it’s presenting itself in all these different ways. It’s never a sharp pain, mostly ache, sore, tight, etc. But it’s not going away. I rested 4 days and felt no improvement at all, I’ve iced, my runs have been short and easy - nothing, at least in this short term, has made a dent in it.
Next, rush to the internet and launch all kinds of searches. Is it an adductor muscle problem? Femoral neck stress fracture? Bursitis? It doesn’t matter - what I’m really looking for is something that fits the criteria but also says “buy a brace and keep on running” - like I did with my shin (which is also bothering a little because I think this leg is just mostly f*cked right now). Meanwhile, every second that I take a step that I don’t feel some uncomfortable sensation in the leg, I tell myself it’s improving because - well, you know me - on a good day I’m only intensely paranoid about another injury.
Anyway, all this is to say that I spent the last week and a half trying to spirit away the discomfort by doing things like registering for a 1/2 Marathon, making motel reservations for the weekend of said race, and buying a second pair of sneakers. But I spent today calling my doc for an appointment, researching the local sports PT places, and calling my health insurance company to confirm I would have coverage (yep). So I see the doc tomorrow and we’ll see what unfolds. It may be no big thing. I’m comforted by the fact that it’s not acutely painful, just persistently uncomfortable - so, yeah, this is the time to get it checked out. Before it’s 3 weeks prior to the half and I can hardly walk. Right? Right!
Isn’t it silly though? Aren’t I silly? This incredible fight I’ve put up with myself for the last several days - and this part of my brain that would so thoroughly rationalize moving forward at all costs. I mean, I really want to run that half and I think I’m finally getting it that avoiding a problem doesn’t make it go away, so hopefully my actions now will make it possible for me to follow through. I know, I know that just running through, or with, this discomfort is going to bite me in the butt down the line - and yet that emotional mind tells me, even at this moment, to just keep going. It’ll clear up, it feels better when you run so it’s ok, stop being a spazz *sigh*
Frankly, I don’t care too much what my doc has to say. He’s a nice guy but he’s not a runner and we’ve been down this injury road before. Once the requisite x-rays have been done and we rule out something “obvious” I’ll look forward to seeing a sports oriented PT (I have a specific one in mind) and getting the real skinny on the problem, what I can do about it now, and what the future holds. I think I am going to ask for a biomechanical analysis even if I have to pay for it out of pocket. I thought I trained fairly smartly for the 15K, though I did ramp up my hill running in the last 4 weeks prior. Maybe that’s the problem. Or maybe I’ve got a funcional deficit. Hopefully I will be able to find out, heal, improve, be smarter, and get to that 1/2 M after all!! If I could just get out of my own way.
Comment by susan
Thursday July 21 2005 @ 7:52 pm
It sounds like you are doing everything right, Lara. Sometimes there seems to be little explanation for a pain (did you read Jeff’s post?) Often, the pain disappears. I think you are smart to try to get to a PT who can help. Mine sure did, and we decided it was totally related to my ramping up speed and distance too quickly. Good luck and keep us posted.