Running In Place

After my most recent panicked-obssessive-I’m-injured-again post, I took another 3 days off and by Monday my leg felt the best it has in a couple of weeks. Heartened, I decided to celebrate with a run and further, decided to go someplace I hadn’t been before. It’s a small trail system not far from where I live and I’d thought about it for awhile, so – why not? I drove to the trailhead, which turned out to be farther into the woods than I had thought and came to a parking area with a lean-to and picnic table. There was one other car, and the owners – an older couple – sitting at the picnic table. We exchanged pleasantries and I took off walking up the hill to the woods. Now here’s the thing – the “trails” I run on usually are not trails at all, they are straight, flat, groomed, graveled paths – hell, sometimes they’re even paved. Where I was now — trails. Roots, stumps, rocks, steep inclines and declines, sharp switchbacks, the works. As I walked along I thought hmmm, is this wise? But then I thought well, give it a try anyway! So off I went and WOW! What a blast. Running, hopping, ducking, up, down. All alone in the woods but never alone – always the sound of something crackling the underbrush, creaking of branches, chirping, scurrying. At one point I surprised a buck and he loped off, later I nearly tripped over a rabbit as he hightailed it across the path. I came out of the woods unexpectedly onto a large sand flat and ran across that as though I was running down the beach (sans water, which is fine with me). I took 2 of the 3 available loops, all of which end up back at the trailhead. I walked periodically on the steeper areas, both up and down, so as not to antagonize my leg too much and, much to my great surprise, I never dumped it – I never even tripped or twisted my ankle or anything. For me, on that terrain, a major feat (or blessing). So what a great run! All in all, a little over 2 miles between the 2 loops – and what a great 2 miles. The beauty, the solitude, and the ability to be out there appreciating it just turned my sour mood of the last several days around. I thought, as I often think – when I have a little clarity of mind – this is precious time.

As always, my leg didn’t bother during the run, but the next day I was back to square one. And so, today was my first visit to the PT. He started out by saying, good naturedly, that he didn’t run and he didn’t “get” running, but that his associate was a runner and that he knew that people who loved running – loved running. He took a very complete history and asked alot of pertinent questions, he tested alot of active and passive motion on me and seemed to be able to determine the problem pretty quickly. He said my left leg is currently slightly shortened because my pelvis is tipped because my hip flexor has tightened up. He was able to do a few things to demonstrate how he came to this conclusion and gave me some stretches and instructions – among them — keep running!! He said, for the next 2 weeks to limit distance to 3-4 miles per run but he did give me the ok to do the 5 mile race this weekend if I would do the stretches every 2-3 hours while awake over the next few days. He spoke with my doc and got approval to see me 2 x week for a month to start and says once we get the hip worked out he wants to work on my ITB and do some strengthening and balancing so it sounds like I’m going to get a good overhaul! It would be nice if he was a runner but I like him well so far – and his assistant is so I’m sure I’ll get some input from her at some point. It all seems good.

On a non-running note, I FINALLY got in for an interview at the hospital I applied to in the beginning of June. Why a month and a half to get an interview? Not because there isn’t an opening, not because nurses aren’t sorely needed there, not because I’m not a favored candidate – but simply because the recruiter (who is not a nurse) is disorganized, lackadaisical, and completely disconnected from the institution she serves. I’m at the point where I’m insulted to even have to deal with this woman – to have to knock on her door and get past her to get to the nurse manager (who is a great guy). Ok, deep breath – let that junk go. Anyway, I finally interviewed and got to tour this unit that I am very much hoping to work on. I am more excited than ever at the prospect!! It’s a complete departure from what I’ve been doing (hospice —> high acuity cardiac care). It’s going to be a big challenge because I am going to have to relearn alot that I have not put into use in the past 4 years, learn alot of new stuff, and learn a new way of thinking and responding to situations. I vacillate between Yeah, I know I can totally do this and oh, maybe this isn’t something that I’m cut out for. And, you know, cardiac ICU isn’t exactly the kind of thing you want to be half-assed at. But it’s a great new path, and it’s going to expand my experience in some significant ways, and I’m going to be dynamic again in a real significant way after 3 months in stasis (enjoyable stasis, but even too much relaxing is not a good thing [don't hate me for saying that!])
Oh, I don’t know what I’m obsessing about – I haven’t even gotten the job yet – why am I borrowing trouble? *sigh*

Let’s end with this:

I love these guys. They always look to the light.

Driving down the road the other day, following a route I hadn’t taken in awhile, I came across this.

And you know, sometimes you get something like that just when you need it.

The last several days have been a lot of time wasted on one of those internal struggles that really should not be taking place. The higher mind, the one which, in a phrase, knows better keeps disagreeing with the emotional mind – which rather than arguing, usually resorts to defiance, denial, and general clouding of the issue. And often prevails.

A little bit since the race, and moreso since the development run, there has been some ongoing and difficult to pinpoint pain in my left leg. It seems to be centralized in the groin area but refers all over the place – hip, mid-quad, inner thigh. It’s better after a few minutes of running and for a few hours after, but any other time – even when just sitting in a chair – it’s presenting itself in all these different ways. It’s never a sharp pain, mostly ache, sore, tight, etc. But it’s not going away. I rested 4 days and felt no improvement at all, I’ve iced, my runs have been short and easy – nothing, at least in this short term, has made a dent in it.

Next, rush to the internet and launch all kinds of searches. Is it an adductor muscle problem? Femoral neck stress fracture? Bursitis? It doesn’t matter – what I’m really looking for is something that fits the criteria but also says “buy a brace and keep on running” – like I did with my shin (which is also bothering a little because I think this leg is just mostly f*cked right now). Meanwhile, every second that I take a step that I don’t feel some uncomfortable sensation in the leg, I tell myself it’s improving because – well, you know me – on a good day I’m only intensely paranoid about another injury.

Anyway, all this is to say that I spent the last week and a half trying to spirit away the discomfort by doing things like registering for a 1/2 Marathon, making motel reservations for the weekend of said race, and buying a second pair of sneakers. But I spent today calling my doc for an appointment, researching the local sports PT places, and calling my health insurance company to confirm I would have coverage (yep). So I see the doc tomorrow and we’ll see what unfolds. It may be no big thing. I’m comforted by the fact that it’s not acutely painful, just persistently uncomfortable – so, yeah, this is the time to get it checked out. Before it’s 3 weeks prior to the half and I can hardly walk. Right? Right!

Isn’t it silly though? Aren’t I silly? This incredible fight I’ve put up with myself for the last several days – and this part of my brain that would so thoroughly rationalize moving forward at all costs. I mean, I really want to run that half and I think I’m finally getting it that avoiding a problem doesn’t make it go away, so hopefully my actions now will make it possible for me to follow through. I know, I know that just running through, or with, this discomfort is going to bite me in the butt down the line – and yet that emotional mind tells me, even at this moment, to just keep going. It’ll clear up, it feels better when you run so it’s ok, stop being a spazz *sigh*

Frankly, I don’t care too much what my doc has to say. He’s a nice guy but he’s not a runner and we’ve been down this injury road before. Once the requisite x-rays have been done and we rule out something “obvious” I’ll look forward to seeing a sports oriented PT (I have a specific one in mind) and getting the real skinny on the problem, what I can do about it now, and what the future holds. I think I am going to ask for a biomechanical analysis even if I have to pay for it out of pocket. I thought I trained fairly smartly for the 15K, though I did ramp up my hill running in the last 4 weeks prior. Maybe that’s the problem. Or maybe I’ve got a funcional deficit. Hopefully I will be able to find out, heal, improve, be smarter, and get to that 1/2 M after all!! If I could just get out of my own way.

Evidently I like having my picture on the internet. Could a live webc@m feed (for a nominal fee charged to your credit card) be far behind?

Anyway, this was the Brightroom.com picture. The Rite Aid in the background indicates that this is coming up on the home stretch. I wish there was a pic of Molly and me crossing the finish.

Last night was the last summer development run of the season and, being my most-favoritist hilly 10K, I didn’t want to miss it. Having the opportunity to run this particular route during my 15K training was invaluable in increasing my physical and mental endurance and boosting my confidence tremendously. Being just a couple of days post-Boilermaker, there were only maybe a third as many attendees as usual. I noticed right away that nearly all of my usual contemporaries were missing and that the majority of runners there were the more physically conditioned one. There could be any number of reasons for that but I think that one of the more unfortunate reasons is that, because this race is such an integral part of the community experience here, alot of people train specifically for it, (hopefully) accomplish it, and then forget about a running program until next year. Or till never. Another possible reason, that didn’t become apparent to me until I began running, was the heat. 88F with 68% humidity, for a heat index of 99F! The saver was that at least half of this run takes place under shade of trees. I was in totally no rush and really didn’t care how long it took, especially since I really wanted to enjoy this last time through. I could run this route on my own at just about any time until the snow comes, whether I actually will – dunno.

So I meandered along, took in the view from the hills, and took stock of how my body felt 2 days after my longest run to date. Fine, actually. I had some soreness just above both knees on the downhills, but I was also doing alot more braking on the declines because I didn’t want to go too fast. I probably just should have let go, it might’ve been easier on my legs than trying to stay slow.

Heading into the woods, just into mile 2, the call came down the line that help was needed up the path. Fortunately, the bike EMT bringing up the rear was not too far behind me so I flagged him and pointed him up the hill. By the time I got there, he and another medic were tending to a girl who was conscious and talking. By the time I finished the wooded loop, she was walking out with them and appeared none the worse for wear. The handful of people who were behind me evidently opted out of the last hill up to the eagle

which left me to bring up the rear. As I was heading up that last hill, the last few people left ahead of me were coming down. They called out encouragement to me, which I always appreciate, but I didn’t really need it. I felt good, I was enjoying the surroundings, and just happy to be out there. As I got towards the top of the hill and the turnaround, guess what I heard?? A flippin’ bagpipe!! One sole woman, standing at the base of the Eagle, playing a bagpipe as the sun set! Could there be a better reward for reaching the top??!? By the time I got to the finish they were starting to break things down but the water was still there so I grabbed some, had an orange, and headed home – just feeling all joyful about running.

In case you haven’t read my Boilermaker cohort’s blog, she has just registered for the Adirondack Half-Marathon!! Here’s the cool part – she and I were both registering for this race, online, at just about the same time, each without the other’s knowledge! How’s that for synchronicity! Perhaps the same synchronicity that allowed us to find each other among 11,000 people at the start of the race on Sunday and finish side by side. It’s all the RBF fairies (no offense Mark, Jon, Jack, etc ) watching over us.