Running In Place

I think, honestly, that it’s good that the Universe keeps me in check. I spent this week feeling as cocky as all get-out - and not that that’s bad, necessrily - but it’s probably just as valuable to get a reality check now and again. That was today.

But first, let me take you on a brief historical journey, beginning way way back in the glorious time of the SOS Run. It was a time of hills, a time of perfect pacing and strong performance, a time of great ego inflation. This era was followed directly, and exacerbated by, the Wednesday night 10K development run period which was marked by a glorious repeat of the SOS 5 mile course PLUS an extra 1.2 miles, primarily, surprisingly, uphill. This memorable and epic period was best known for its total, powerful, perfectly poised and paced ass kicking-ness!!

Shortly after, the dark days of the plague arrived. Known initially for its coughs and sniffles, this era soon proved to be fatal to any attempt to schedule a long run on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday due to it’s deadly symptomology of back and head aches, 18 hour naps, a head that weighs 62 lbs and is impossible to lift off a pillow, and a deadly intolerance to any well-meaning spouse who might suggest that a little fresh air could do the trick. Later, mothers everywhere would diagnose this ailment as “the bug” and confound medical personnel everywhere by suggesting that it was acquired by leaving the house with wet hair on a chilly day.

Which brings us to present day…

Today was the Summer Sizzle 5 mile race. This is a very nice run, mostly on bike/running paths through Proctor Park and around the nearby community college. It was mostly flat with some gentle inclines here and along. The bugger was that it was hot, sunny, and humid by the 8 AM start. If I’m honest, it was not as humid as yesterday and there was an occasional, lovely, breeze. So, weather-wise, it wasn’t as bad as it could be, but it was worse than my 2 recent, um…phenomenal runs, which were definately lower on the heat index.

I started the AM by making a race day friend while we were both wandering cluelessly around the gymnasium building looking for a ladies room. After we finally happened upon our target, we stretched together and shared thoughts on being slow, running our first Boilermaker, and shorts that creep. She was training with a Boilermaker sponsored training program and had just been out with the group yesterday for an 8.2 mile run. The only thing I did 8.2 times yesterday was whine to my husband in a nasally voice to bring me more orange juice and Kleenex.

When it was time to line up we headed for the back, which wasn’t too far as it was a small group. This race runs the ladies and men separately as it is part of some women’s distance challenge. I saw a few familiar faces, including the older lady that I often play leapfrog with. I usually beat her so I was all yeah, you’re mine ol’ gal! (to myself, in case you wondered).

So off we went, my new friend and I. We hung together and passed a couple of people here and there. She seemed like she was really working after not too long and I was feeling really good. I wasn’t holding back like I should have and she was pacing with me like she shouldn’t have so we just ended up pushing each other too hard in the first mile. We finished it in 9:51 and when I called it to her she was all like “that’s too fast for me” and I’m feeling so good that I’m thinking to myself sure, for YOU. Onward into the 2nd mile, I start to move away from her. I am thinking that I should slow down some so I slow down at the water stop and begin pacing with her again more slowly. But I can’t help creeping ahead. Mile 2 is 10:28 and I’m glad I slowed down some because it is HOT and, though there are a blessed lot of shady areas in the park, the areas of sun that we are running in are already taking a toll. In mile 3 I was mostly alone, some people ahead and some behind, and it was beginning to creep into my consciousness that my brash “I must be the fastest of the slow” start was gonna bite my butt the way it did in that other race. I finished it in 11:08. Mile 4 was where that creeping consciousness became clear realization - I was coming out of the shady areas and into the sun, and really contemplating how radically the heat and sun can change your performance. Like the period of time that passes between one childbirth and the next, a couple of runs in comfortable weather can make you forget all about the discomforts of full-on summer running. Mostly mile 4 sucked and I cursed myself for my fast start, and moreso for repeating what I already thought I knew better than doing. This mile was my slowest and most difficult at 11:54. Last mile: Yeah! I can do anything for a mile, right? This mile is pretty well flat. This mile is where I begin to notice that 2 of the ladies ahead of me are doing walk breaks (Jack take note ). I don’t know if it’s by plan or by necessity but dammit I can’t get past them. I’m running slow, they’re walking, I get close, they start running and keep their lead. Or I pass them while they’re walking but then they start running shortly after and pull ahead. Frankly. Honestly. I started to feel a little resentful, a little angry. Then, towards the end, I passed one of the walking ladies and she complimented me on a great job and we passed a few words about the heat and the sun, and then I was ok. She and I were each running our own race. If I want to catch her and I can’t catch her, that’s my problem. Shortly after, in the last 1/8 mile or so, that walk/runner AND the older lady I mentioned at the beginning, who I was surely gonna smoke (right??), passed me. And I couldn’t catch them. And I was cheering them. Then, in the stretch, my race-day friend who I left behind so long ago comes right up behind me and says “you’d better get moving, I’m right on your tail!” I came in ahead of her, but just barely. I finished in 54:58 per my watch (thank goodness I’m getting better with pushing those buttons at the right time!) for an 11:00 average pace.

Today, for me, was not a race so much as a review class - on pacing, on heat & sun, on assumptions, on putting my ego in a box. Success can be a great motivation, disappointment can be a great lesson, the space in between might be the most fundamental place to find yourself in. It’s “good enough” but it’s not good enough. Which begs the question - where is my good enough? Answer: Just keep going till you get there

Will you ever get there? That’s a question for some other, far off day.

You know what? I love this process - really!! It’s all new to me. Maybe someday I will apply it to a half-marathon. Or a marathon!! Each time I revisit my capacity to learn, adapt, and change - my dreams grow slighly larger. Each time I address my nearly 40 year old body (which is not an old body, but one which has never NEVER previously been athletic) and ask it to work a little more - and it does - I am renewed.

So, class is dismissed for today. A little ‘ancient’ history and a little recent history. I’ll leave you with this:

The race shirts today were, from my perspective, great! A wonderful departure from the standard whites and beiges -

Some of the guys had a problem with the color. How about you?

P.S. I prefer you shirtless but don’t let my opinion sway you