Running In Place

I hope.

The week has not ended with the promise that began it. My shin pain-free run on Tuesday was evidently a fluke and yesterday’s run was flat out shitty.

But, as my title implies, I am not going to view it through the lens of success/failure, but rather in terms of what I am learning. About running. About not running. About my body. About my ego. About the fallacy of control. And other assorted silly things too – like Don’t Forget the Bug Spray.

Tuesday
As I mentioned earlier in the week, this was a nice run with a new friend which left me very optimistic.
Distance – 3 miles
Time – 32:05
Avg. pace – 10:42
Effort – hard 8 of 10 with a full belly

Wednesday
Well, I got out of my PJ’s anyway, but not much farther.

Thursday
This run was pretty much fine except that I strapped up my shin wrap too tight and it began to cause some disturbing pains in other areas of my leg so I took it off after the first 3/4 mile and ran without. Afterwards, the shin started speaking to me again.
Distance – 3.1 miles
Time – 33:48
Avg. pace – 10:54
Effort – 7-8 of 10

Friday
Went out for my first significant bike ride – 14 miles on the rolling hills around my area. I almost said gently rolling hills but there were 2 times that I had to get off and walk. I really enjoyed it but found that, for me – and being new to it, I find biking alot harder than running. My heart didn’t work as hard but my legs were screaming!!

Saturday
Regarding this day, I can only say – WAH! In keeping with my lower mileage this week, I had 5 miles planned for my longest run. Truth be told – I was totally not into it from the start. It was a really beautiful day with warm sunshine and a nice breeze and, by rights, I should have been clamoring to get out the door. Instead, I was dragging my feet and really reluctant, although I had no specific complaint or reason why I shouldn’t run. Finally, I strapped on the shin wrap – looser this time – and headed to the canal. I started a slow warm-up and in just a couple of minutes felt terrible. My legs were incredibly heavy and I just didn’t seem to have the strength to lift them off the ground. I was breathing heavily and struggling from the outset. Of course, at this point it’s dawning on me that yesterday’s hilly bike ride might not have been appropriately timed, but I figured if I kept going, things would smooth out.

I resolved to go slow and easy so I could get the 5 in without killing myself but after the first mile I was already making mental deals to go 4 and see how I felt. I was aware of the sensation of my feet just really pounding heavily on the ground and I made it a point a couple of times to slow even further and concentrate on softening my footfalls. At about 1.25 miles I walked for a short bit. At 1.5 I got bit by a deerfly and immediately developed a lump the size of an orange on my forehead (see above). At 1.92 I told myself I’d go to 2 and turn around but then said eff-it and turned around immediately. At 2 I walked for a couple of minutes, started running again, and at 2.25 packed it in altogether. Leaving myself a 2+ mile walk back to the car.

What can I say. I’ve pushed myself to run when I didn’t feel like it and I’ve stuck with a run even when it was hard going. This was just one of those times that it was more than unpleasant, this was one of those times when I knew that if I continued I would do myself harm. Even so, even though I knew I was making the right decision, it was tough to swallow. All of the doubts, all of the worries – some of it was the Critic, taking an opportunity to impose herself on a psyche that has recently had fair success in banishing her. Some of it was legit: What’s next? Should I continue to keep my mileage low? If I do will I be ready for the Boilermaker? If I start increasing the mileage again can I tolerate it? If not now, when??

Let me tell you, it was a looooong walk back to the parking lot. Too many thoughts, too many stares at the giant growth on my face, too many people running by, smiling and saying Hi as I ambled along – calm appearing on the outside but busy arm wrestling the Critic on the inside. The saving grace was that it was a truly beautiful day and I got to walk slowly and appreciatively through what I usually run by. It made it much easier to be contemplative about what had just happened, rather than rattled. In the scope of things, it’s 2 good runs vs. 1 crappy run this week so good runs are the winner overall. I just worry about not getting the longer runs in that I should, or the hills. But I can’t obssess about it – well, I can – but it’s not gonna fix anything.

So right now, I’m not sure what’s next. I know that I am not going to run again until I meet the club again on Tuesday. I think that I am not going to try to start increasing mileage this coming week and I’m going to take each run as it comes. I am registered for a 10K next Saturday which I’d like to plan on. However, I imagine I could probably do the 5K instead if I wasn’t up to the longer. But, damn, if I don’t get some longer runs in pretty soon….nope, not gonna worry about that right now. Only going to worry about the very next run. Only going to worry about stretching my calf and icing my shin and getting my new sneaks and scheduling my bike rides a little smarter till I get used to them and keeping perspective and chilling out. And packing bug spray.

“Our mistakes don’t make or break us – if we’re lucky, they simply reveal who we really are, what we’re really made of.” ~ Donn Moomaw

Actually, guys can read too – it’s not yucky.

Awhile back, Megan asked the question of the ages for running women with actual thighs. In response I give you

I bought my first pair at Walmart last year, pre-injury, so I had forgotten that they were actually my one and only pair of non-creepers until I pulled them from the bottom of the summer storage bag recently. Not wanting to traipse around Walmart (or give them any more of my money) I was able to find them online at the manufacturer’s website. They are simply nylon, no lining, very lightweight. They do have nice deep pockets. And most importantly no crawling, and so far no chafing. This has been my experience anyway so hopefully it will be helpful to someone.

Now, onto a little clarification. I think that I was not clear in my last post about how my race time related to my PR, and I apologize because I’ve been getting a couple of undeserved shout-outs for a PR that wasn’t. What I was meaning to say was that this race was 38 seconds slower than my PR, but that I was still very pleased because my PR was on a dead flat course and this fairly close time was on a course with some decent inclines. So I’m not disappointed that I didn’t PR. And I feel confident that, with the progress I seem to be making, I am not too far from another 5K PR. But, as much as I’d like to, I can’t take credit for it yet. So, sorry for the confusion and please take back all the nice things you said!

Lastly, tonight I ran with my club for the second time and I think I’m making a running friend!!! We ran together last week and again tonight. We are at right about the same pace and seem to be in sync in a way that we are able to each push the other just the right amount beyond what we would do if we were alone. Tonight I was almost in a bad way because I had attended a wedding shower for a co-worker prior to the run. The food is all laid out and I’m thinking ok, a little veggie and dip, a little pasta salad, and a little fruit will be just right. Then, just a little pizza, a little nachos and salsa, a little Boston Creme pie. The running involved some pretty persistent stitches on both sides and that very unsettling burp-could-be-mini-throwup feeling. Even so, we finished the 3 miles a flat minute faster this week – that’s right, this time I said faster. We exchanged numbers and I am so excited to have someone to call up and be all hey, let’s go for a run, ‘kay? Also, she has run the Boilermaker a couple of times in the past and is doing so this year. She’s in for some serious brain-picking! Yay!

Oh, I know I said “Lastly” on the previous topic but here’s the real Lastly. I trucked over to the Sneaker Store for some overdue replacements. The Asics Gel-Nimbus VI has been a fantastic post-injury shoe for me and I had no intentions of deviating from the tried and true. I went in with my old sneaks and asked for more of the same. The young man came back and said “here you go, we’ve got the upgrade” Cool! says I – because upgrade = new, improved, better, right?? The Gel-Nimbus VII sounds like it is supposed to be a much super greater version of VI, but to me it felt like a completely different, wholly unpleasant sneaker. It did not feel nearly as cushiony and it had a funny little bump under the arch that almost immediately started to cause a vaguely painful sensation below the ball of my foot just from standing and walking around the store! I am stupefied. When I asked if I could get some VI’s, dude was all like “I don’t know, I’ll see if I can order them.” And, “you can probably only get them in this color.

Whatever, just get me my damn sneakers (bordering on panic). So, thankfully, by the end of the week I should have a new pair of VI’s (we don’t know what color, he just asked for any available). I think I am going to order another pair online too. If I had the $$ I would order 100 pair so that I would never have to face the day, which will eventually come, when I will have to decide on something new and unknown. Maybe by then I will be a big strong runner, maybe I won’t be so paranoid that every little thing is going to be the source of grave injury, maybe there will be a better shoe and I will have better form and greater confidence and everything will be fine and changing sneakers, or even just models, won’t be such a trauma. Or maybe I’ll take out a loan and buy 100 pairs of my sneaker!

Here’s the problem. The problem is that running is the only form of exercise I enjoy. For me, all commitments to fitness begin and end with running. I know that’s one dimensional and I almost don’t care. But Wait!! This time I am going to make myself care, this time I’m going to keep moving forward even if I’m backing off my mileage for a couple of weeks, this time I am going to be The Well Rounded Athlete. Right??

The reality? I am The Clown Shoes of Crosstraining

Monday
This was the day Garmin took me through the wormhole. I was running along the trail and, since the leaves are coming in, it had lost its signal about sixty-eleven times. This usually doesn’t annoy me too much since I don’t pay attention to the average pace on the screen so much as the actual time/distance, which it seems to get straightened around when it does pick up the signal. This day, I happened to glance down and see that I had a signal, and that I had traveled 0.49 miles thus far. A short time later the distance alert beeped and I thought wow, that was a fast 1/2 mile! Then I looked at the time and it said 7:52!! HUH??? A quick look around at where I physically was on the trail confirmed that I’d been duped, which was not a surprise nor a disappointment. There is no way, no how I am running a 7:52 mile. I don’t say that because I am humble, or because I am unwilling to give myself credit for what would be some ass kicking progress – I am just not, at this point, physically able to run that kind of mile. So that was weird. Maybe the trickster spirits in Jon’s Ghostrunner have come to visit. Anyway, I estimate that about a quarter mile went up in smoke so I have adjusted my numbers accordingly.
Distance – 4.45
Time – 49:57 (ya couldn’t run 3 more seconds??)
Avg. Pace – 11:13
Effort – 8 of 10

Tuesday
Well this was a fun run! I finally got out there and ran with the running club I joined forever ago! I ended up running with a lady who said “I’m very slow.” Well, ma’am, you’re singing my song! She and I were pretty much at the way back of the pack and she said she was glad to have someone to run with because she was often alone. Wasn’t I just thinking the same thing! The president of the club joined us and I think she upped our pace a little bit. I won’t be back next Tuesday because I have a wedding shower to go to but after that, most definately. In June they start doing timed runs as part of Boilermaker preparation.
Distance – 3 miles
Time – 33:07
Avg. Pace – 11:02
Effort – high 8 of 10

Wednesday
Ok, here’s where it gets silly. I sat around all day, well not just sat around – sat around and went on an empty-carb bender. Finally, late in the day I thought dammit, I gotta get moving! So down to the basement I went to drag my bike up to the light of day. I bought it used about 10 years ago from a co-worker?s son and I don?t think it?s been ridden since. It?s a mountain bike called a Canyon River, which I can?t locate online anywhere. Either it?s not made any more, or it?s, like, Walmart brand. Anyway, I washed the sorry old thing up and filled the tires but I wanted to wait over night to see if they held air before I went a?ridin. Since I?d managed to jack my butt off the couch, I went downstairs and did some stuff with the resistance bands. Then I sat down with my calendar and made all kinds of grand plans for a Well Rounded Fitness Plan. Which alleviated my guilt a little.

Thursday
Went in to help out at work this day and ended up staying till 7 pm. Got home about 7:30, check the tires ? still full, zip in the house, change, and head out for a little ride before the sun goes down. Ride about 1/8 mile, shift gears, pop the chain, can?t get it back on, walk home. Drink a beer.

Friday
Much needed Rest Day HA HA HA HA!

Saturday
Kind husband, who hasn?t ridden a bicycle in 25 years but has ridden motorcycles equally as long, fixes the derailleur thingy. Kind son accompanies me on my ride and shows me how to use gears appropriately rather than shifting higgledy-piggeldy and ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunking down the road. We only go 3 miles because we have family from out of town coming to visit and there isn?t much time to spare before they arrive. They arrive 3 hours late. Despite race tomorrow, stay up way too late, eat way too late, drink beer (way too late), etc.

Sunday
Did manage to get in 7 hours of sleep and woke up feeling not too worse for the wear. Today was the National Distance Running Hall of Fame 5K. I really had no idea what to expect after no running for 4 days, but my calf had not bothered at all in a few days so I was optimistic. The weather was cool, low 50’sF with a chilly breeze and threatening rain. I trussed my shin up in my new compression wrap, warmed up, stretched a little and was ready to roll. I ran into a lady that I went to nursing school with who is in the Go the Distanceprogram, which is put on by a local TV station and follows the training of pre-selected 1st time Boilermaker runners (she’s not yet listed on the website).

As I said, I really didn’t know how things were going to go today for me but I was not by any means expecting a PR because my best time so far was done on a dead flat course. We started off almost immediately with a hill that led us over a bridge towards the north side of town, followed by another hill before we came to a portion of the Erie Canal towpath (the same one I run on, but a different piece of it). The majority of the race was an out and back on the path, which was mice and flat. Cardio-wise, I was definately working hard but as for pain in the calf – none! Cool!! Back off the path, it was time to tackle those hills again and I got that blessed 2nd wind that gets you up and over when you think you’re just about spent. I had started in my usual spot in the way back and had hung back for the first mile. I probably did most of my passing in the last mile, on the hills! Cresting the last hill, the finish line was right at the bottom so, of course, we all took off. Some guy and I were neck and neck down the hill and, being the non-competitive type, I was almost going to slow just a touch and let him pull ahead but then I thought well, why would you do that? Are you racing, or what?? So I poured on some steam and passed him. Afterwards, I got some water and walked back up the hill to cheer Dawn and the rest of the finishers as they were coming over the top.

I hung around long enough to see the official times posted and was very pleased to see I had finished in 32:30 with an average pace of 10:29 (I screwed up my actual splits because I got messed up on the 5K and Half Marathon mile markers). Anyway, that’s only a 38 second difference between my utterly flat PR course and this course with 4 decent inclines!!! Yeah, I’m really happy with that!! And I’m really happy with no calf pain too!

Even so, I will plan on another week of easy mileage and wacky bike misadventures, and then ease back into the training plan after that. As long as I don’t involve rollerblades in my crosstraining, I should be safe.

Following Jon’s comment yesterday about my calf complaints sounding like shin splints, I did a little investigating. I’ve certainly heard people talk about shin splints enough times but I really didn’t have an awareness of how they presented. Suddenly I found myself reading about the exact symptoms I’m experiencing – and feeling my heart fall a little. What does this mean for my Boilermaker training??

Some of the information said Stop Running, but other articles suggested that if the discomfort is mild to moderate it may be sufficient to cut mileage by 50% for a couple of weeks and be vigilant about proper stretching (although I really have been faithful to consistent stretching, including calves). Also to utilize heat before a run, ice and NSAIDS after, and perhaps compression. Since the pain is not sharp or severe at this point, I think that’s the road I would like to try. I’ve got 7 weeks till the race so I’m hoping that if I address this now I can avoid trouble down the road. Frankly, if I can just prevent any further injury to the area till after the race, I would happily take a full break and heal it up right afterward. Is that foolhardy? Unrealistic? God I hope not.

So as it stands, my plan for this week will be to continue with the resistance bands, and to pull out the old bike and roll that around. I am registered for the Hall of Fame 5K on Sunday, which I would like to do. Over the next couple of weeks I will plan on running fewer day and fewer miles and try to make it up with time on the bike. Then I’ll see where I’m at.

Chunk was a word my niece coined for chipmunks when she was first talking. She’s nearly 12 now but Auntie Lara just won’t let it go.

Anyway, I spent far too much time yesterday sitting and watching the chunks busy at work emptying my birdfeeder. Here’s the routine:
1) Scamper out of the woods, hop hop hop, with fuzzy tail pointed straight up to the sky.
2) Climb the shepard’s hook (which we thought was rodent-proof).
3) Balance on the edge of the feeder, rocking it violently and scaring all those pesky birds away. Ignore the foul language of the blue jays – sticks and stones…
4) Stuff cheeks full of seeds and nuts till adequate Marlon Brando as Godfather look is achieved.
5) Scamper back into woods and deposit loot in secret chunk hideout.
6) Repeat 10,562 times.
7) When feeder is empty, wait impatiently on the porch for the lady in the green plaid bathrobe to refill.

In between myWild Kingdom front yard expeditions I did manage to run last week, and also added in some strength stuff – which, if anyone knows me, knows is my 2nd or 3rd least favorite thing in the world to do. I got some resistance bands that I seem better able to manage than dumbbells (until the inevitable handle-snap-back-in-the-face hilarity ensues, anyway). My arms and shoulder muscles are whiney and sore. Is that good?

Monday
Distance – 4.45 miles
Time – 50:00
Avg. pace – 11:14
Effort – hard 8 of 10
This was really my first run in (relative) heat this season. 75F may not seem hot to most but man, it was hurting me. Definately some acclimating to do.

Wednesday
Distance – 2.75 miles
Time – 30:00
Avg. pace – 10:55
Effort – again hard 8 of 10
Another hot, sunny day.

Friday
Distance – 7 miles
Time – 1:19:34
Avg. pace – 11:22
Effort – 7-8 of 10
This was my longest run yet! Blessedly, it was sunny and 55F with a breeze. I am really happy with my pace overall and actually did wicked negative splits with the first few miles being in the 11:40’s and the last few miles being in the 10:30-40’s.

I did skip a scheduled 60 minute run this week due to some persistent pain on the inner aspect of my left calf. I think it’s a tendon and it was pretty consistently sore all week, though never acutely painful or unmanageable during a run. Icing seems to help and today, after 2 days off, there is no discomfort at all. I think, hope, that I am starting to come to terms with having aches and pains in my legs as I progress in my training. It would be nice to not believe that every single discomfort is the end of running. Getting there.