Running In Place

Today’s schedule: 6 miles. In good keeping with the forecast of rain, evidently for the next several weeks, it rained. It stopped raining long enough for me to drive to the towpath, and then started raining again. Pouring. With wind, a headwind. Rain all sideways and shit. But again, I will say that running in the rain is kind of neat.

The first couple of miles were very invigorating because the rain was pouring and the wind was blowing and it somehow felt all wild and dangerous to be outside in it – facing it rather than turning from it. Yes, I know it’s only rain but it made me feel powerful and strong to be immersed in it. Then it occured to me that this is the time that people in cars look out their windows as they drive by and say “that one is crazy!” And I became aware of the cars on the parallel road across the canal and imagined people looking and pointing and shaking their heads in disbelief, and I felt powerful all over again. Even though maybe they were right.

After awhile, the worst of it was over and just became on and off showers. I actually went faster than I meant to, faster than when I did the 5 miles last week, but I was keeping my effort comfortable and the increased speed just kind of happened, so that was clearly very cool! I went just a touch farther than scheduled and stopped at 6.2 so I could say I’ve run my very first 10K distance!! Yay!

Time: 1:14:16
Distance: 6.2
Avg. pace: 11:59
Effort: 7 of 10

Well, except when I’m running.

Being practically unemployed (am doing a little per diem and what you might call “freelance” work for hospice) is strange, and somewhat unsettling. You know how you always think, if I didn’t have to go to work today I would accomplish so much, or if I wasn’t so tired from my long day of work I could get so much more done? Yep, I thought it too. Until I discovered there was a giant lazy butt in me, waiting to be unleashed upon the world to…..well, do nothing. I do make myself get up in the morning to see the kid off to school even though, at 15, he hardly needs me to. After that it’s all about coffee, internet, Howard Stern, leisurely breakfast, making lists of all the things I’m going to do at some undetermined future time, go for a run, read a book, etc, etc, etc. I do wash the dishes in hopes that it will blind my husband to the fact that I am an utter slug. Also alot of extra…um, you know, helps to keep him distracted from noticing. Anyway, at least it’s easier to find time for training when it’s the only thing on your schedule. If I can change myself out of my sweatpants I might go look for a job or some volunteer work or something. Well, maybe later.

Today’s run was very fine. 40 minutes scheduled, not as long as Monday and not as much of an effort as yesterday. When I first started off I was feeling some sore spots here and there which, of course, always freak me out and are hard for me to keep in perspective. I figured I’d just go easy but as things warmed up and smoothed out I did pick up the pace a little. It’s amazing to me the changes I’m seeing in the short time that I have been following the training and it makes me want to lament the past few months that I have spent shuffling along in stasis, but it doesn’t matter now. No place to go but forward.

Time: 40:00
Distance: 3.66
Avg. pace: 10:55
Effort: 8 of 10

Today was interval day which I was feeling kind of whiney about and almost started my old game of finding ways to busy myself with other things and blow it off. Fortunately, Runner-Me piped up and said dude, you are in training! You wanna run the Boilermaker, right? And you wanna be well prepared and run it well, right? And what about that 20K in New Haven with Dianna and the gang?? Gonna crap out your training for that too??? Well????? Then Runner-Me kicked Whiney-Me’s ass and off I went.

The plan was to do right this week what I did not do right last week, which was 5 x 3 min. at 80-90% with 1 min. recoveries. Last Wednesday I got all dyslexic and did 3 x 5 min. and was not able to sustain the effort well at all. It felt scary and not at all productive.

Today was better. I started out with an easy 5 minute warm-up, walked for a short bit while I fiddled with my watch, then set off on the first 3 minutes – going from this isn’t so bad to I wanna stop I wanna stop I wanna stop in not too long. I was working at a level of effort that was not all out but maybe close to it. At the end of each 3 minutes I was spent and my recovery jog was at a crawl pace. My mantra is: I can do anything for _______ (fill in 3 minutes, 10 minutes, a mile, etc). The last 2 sets were, not surprisingly, the hardest. The one minute recovery jog wasn’t nearly long enough for me to “recover” in but I didn’t know if that was something I should toy with. How much recovery is recovery? If I make it longer or walk it instead of jog it does it minimize the benefit of the work-out? Or is it worse to start again with the hard effort when you haven’t really had the time to catch your breath? These things I don’t know, so I just did it. Once I was finished and walking, then I recovered very quickly, so quickly it surprised me that I had my breath back and my heart settled down so soon. Then I started to worry that meant I hadn’t given a hard enough effort, but in reality I knew that wasn’t true. I just like to have something to worry about.

Time: 20:00
Distance: 1.95
Avg. pace: 10:15 (maybe next time I’ll time the intervals – don’t know yet how much clockwatching I want to do with this)
Effort: 9 – 9.5 of 10

Now just some brief thoughts on the weather: The whole time I was running it was raining. Back and forth between moderate showers to downpour the entire time. Not surprisingly, I was the only one on the path which was very cool because the vain part of me was glad there was no one around to hear the gasping and coughing and hawking (and I wish I could learn how to spit properly and not with all the dribble and…well never mind). As I was walking the 1/2 mile back to the car, and stopping to stretch, and soaked to the skin I thought that, of all the times that I have conjured reasons and rationales to blow off runs, very few times was it because of the weather. The weather’s not always a complementary factor to the run but it’s always a part of the experience, for better or worse. And the conditions that, under daily circumstances, I might lament, like rain or snow or cold , can be seen in an entirely new way when I immerse myself in them. So as I walked back to the car, leisurely, unconcerned about getting wet because I already was, I looked at how green everything is becoming, and watched the robins who were also unconcerned by the rain, and thought about the whole ocean to atmosphere to earth to ocean cycle (what little I know about it) and was all in awe and shit. And I thought about the multitude of times in my life when I avoided the rain, or cursed it, or called it a bad day because there was rain – and today I said thank you to the rain, or for the rain, or both. And then I walked out into the parking lot where 3 kids from the nearby high school, parked for lunch break, looked at me in my soaking wet self like I was the most insane person they ever saw. That’s cool

Today was dog doctor day.

Thankfully, this only happens once a year as my border collie/german shepard mix (on left) has to be sedated and muzzled – with the leather muzzle because she gets out of the mesh one – just to get dragged in for her rabies and distemper shots. Fortunately, she’s otherwise healthy because if I had to bring her in for an emergency I don’t know what I’d do. Two years ago she got a dermal staph infection on her belly. The oral sedatives I usually give her to get her in for shots were no way going to be strong enough to allow for her being put on the table and rolled on her back! I pulled into the parking lot of the office, rolled down the front passenger side window and held Mira facing me, talking to her and otherwise distracting while the doc snuck up behind her, leaned in the window and gave her a shot in the butt to knock her out. He is a kind and patient man. Anyway, we all survived and now I’m tripping over a doped-up dog who won’t let me out of her sight. I am glad to report that Raisin (on right) is a much better patient.

Once home, I decided to head out for a run before I got distracted with much-neglected housework. The weather is strange today, 30′s F with rain/snow/sun coming and going, and frequently all appearing simultaneously. I had 50 minutes “moderate” scheduled for today and wanted to get 4 miles out of the time if I could. I went to a different trailhead for the towpath I like to run on and went in a different direction so it was all new scenery – and it was paved! Like nice, springy asphalt. Usually the paths I run on are groomed dirt/silt so I really appreciate the extra bounce it feels like I get from the asphalt. I was doing more than a moderate effort for sure, but not gasping, chest bursting by any means. I think it’s going to, and already does, benefit me to pay attention to my subjective level of effort (rather than getting myself all twisted and tangled in my HR right now). I had a sense of how I wanted to perform today and a sense of just how it felt to run my distance on Saturday and I was able to translate that into a harder effort and a bit faster time. So that’s all good. I’ve got a 5K in a couple of weeks that is going to be a pretty flat course from what I understand. If I can keep getting the idea of how to exert myself consistently over a distance, I could start to shift my focus from finishing to finishing better. Why didn’t anybody tell me this training stuff messes with your head!!

Time: 50:00
Distance: 4.18
Avg. pace: 11:59
Effort: 8 of 10

And topped off with great 5 mile run today!!

Now, before I review my week, I’m setting a new goal that is adjunct to my Boilermaker training:

I am no longer going to apologize for, be embarrassed by, or try to hide how slow I am. Let me quickly add that no other person, no RBFer or any other runner – no one, I have ever talked to or corresponded with has ever said anything to cause me to feel inadequate. It’s my own dragon and I’m going to slay it. From now on, time/distance/pace is a training tool for me, I’ll post them and I’ll measure them against past performances and future goals. I won’t make excuses for them, self-deprecating comments about them, or otherwise feel ashamed. My hope is to get faster over time and I won’t cheapen my efforts along the way (or up to this point) by minimizing what I can be capable of. I really want to change my thinking on this. Recently I have really tried to not disparage myself here or in my own mind, but as I sat down today to write about my long run I looked at the times and really struggled about posting them. Should I not post them and kind of censor my training log? Should I post them and make jokes and flippant remarks about them? Or be defensive? I hope not. That’s not how I want to do this any more. So I guess I’ll just let it all hang out. I am going to try to be vigilant about being kinder to myself – and anyone is invited and welcome, and appreciated, to say “cut the crap Lara” if I deviate.

Phew.

That being said, my first week of training was, at first, kind of uninspired because I had not made this wonderful new affirmation But today’s run was grand!!

Monday:
Time: 40:00
Distance: 3:09 miles
Avg. pace – 12:57
Effort – 8 of 10
The worst part of this run was the creeping crawling shorts. I remember now why I prefer winter running – more clothes.

Wednesday:
Let my start out by saying that this was pretty much the first time I had done interval type stuff. I had it in my head that the plan called for 3 x 5 min. at 80% with 1 min. recovery jogs, later I discovered that it was actually 5 x 3 min. Doh. I don’t know if I would have faired better if I did it correctly, probably because I was kind of dying with those 5 minutes and had to do 2 min. of recovery the first time and walking to recover the second time. Well, plenty more opportunities to get the hang of it.
Time: 19:55
Distance: 1.83
Avg. pace: 10:53
Effort: 9.5 of 10

Friday
Time: 40:00
Distance: 3.44
Avg. Pace: 11:38
Effort: 8 of 10
This was a cooler day than Monday and the run went more easily for me (especially with long pants on ).

Saturday
Time: 1:03:38
Distance: 5 miles
Avg. pace: 12:44
Effort: 6-7 of 10
Today was a really good run for me psychologically! I was ever so slightly nervous because it would be my longest run to date (recalling that my Heart Run 5 Miler was actually 4.67). So I’m thinking, maybe I’ll run 4 and see how I feel. Maybe I can’t do it. But the question isn’t really can I do it, it’s will I do it. Am I truly unable or just unwilling to do it. Well the answer is neither! Call me a wuss, but I did wait until the sideways rain stopped to head out. Temp in the 40′s F and a cool but not cold wind, gray skies – the perfect day to run along the canal and watch the high, choppy water. My job today was to keep my effort sustainable and that is hard for me. I lose track and speed up too much, then I have to slow down, then I do it all again and it seems to make the run so much harder. So today it’s slow motion, Bionic Woman style (I resisted making the eheheheheheh sound effect although there was no one on the path that would have heard). It was right, right from the beginnng, it was a great run that was moderately difficult but managable and left me feeling accomplished and not overwhelmed. I think I did that one right!

Not surprisingly I am looking forward to next week. I plan to make one of my runs with the running club I joined and have yet to run with. Because I good enough, I’m fast enough, and dog-gonit, people like me