Running In Place

Ok, that’s not absolutely true - the part about being chased by a goose is true - it being the high point of my week might be a little cynical.

Most of my week was spent at the bedside of a beautiful young woman who was finally letting go after a years-long illness. She was in a nursing home, which turned out to pose some disturbing challenges to maintaining her comfort. I was left frustrated, angry, and in utter disbelief that some of the medical personnel I was dealing with could be so blind to suffering. I’ll leave it at that because there’s just too much emotion in me about it right now and a rant could easily develop. Ultimately, this lady did die comfortably and for that I am grateful. I will also just quickly say that I am not bashing nursing homes necessarily, or the people who work in them, because I have been to some wonderful facilities with very caring and capable staff. Unfortunately, it is the nature of the institution that the individual is lost in a sea of policy & procedure which allows administrators to hide behind the “it’s out of my hands” mantra - which they apparently feel exonerates them from moral responsibility.

Deep breath.

So. How ’bout running? Well, as most of my evenings were tied up, not as much as I would have liked for sure, but I’m at peace with that. Tuesday was a respectable 2.5 miles and today an interesting 5. I wanted to run yesterday too but I think the stress of the week took its toll on my belly and let’s just say I decided it wasn’t going to be cool to run with the runs if you get my meaning ’nuff about that.

Anyway, the title of today’s run would have to be Oh shit, where’d that hill come from!?? I had stayed for a program after church and by the time I got home in the afternoon, I totally did not feel like going out for a run and I just could not bring myself to get in the car and drive to the trail or to town or wherever to do it. I decided to take a run on my own road but in a different direction. I generally avoid my road because it is so cambered but at some point I did take notice that if I went a little way in the opposite direction I previously had, it became less so after a bit. So I made the deal with myself to give it a try and if it was too severely crowned I’d just bag it. After about a 1/2 mile it wasn’t too bad and after the first mile it was better still. My first mile was 10:28 and I was all like YEAH, I’M FAST!! Then I was thinking, “gosh and it feels so easy, this is great!” Shortly after I’m noticing that the sound of my feet hitting the pavement is really loud, like I’m wearing clown shoes or flippers - thwap thwap thwap . Slowly the realization dawns, s l o w l y I turn. Dammit, I’ve been running down a hill!! A long, gradual hill. A subtle hill going down - hmmm, subtle going back up later?? Think positive!! Soon, I’m leveling out and moving along more at my usual pace. I come into a cluster of houses, including a small farm, and what do you suppose is in the middle of the road but a couple of geese - and I’m running towards them, and they’re running towards me!! Now I grew up on a farm, but for those who aren’t aware: geese are flippin’ mean, and they bite, and pretty much all geese run faster than me! It was like this insane game of Red Rover where they’re running at me, hissing, and I’m using all the evasive maneuvers I can remember from powder puff football - and there’s these people in their front yard watching and I’m thinking (not yelling, just loudly thinking) “Hey! Call off your damn geese!” I guess I must’ve still had some downhill momentum (plus, one of the geese had a bad gimp) cause I managed to get by - and still had a half mile till my turnaround to plot my strategy for getting back. If I’d had my cell phone I might’ve called my husband to come pick me up.

Actually, the trip back was much less dramatic as they were busy chasing a car. I scooted to the opposite side of the road and actually considered jumping into the ditch to avoid detection but was able to pick up the pace and get out of Dodge before their attention was diverted from the car (which I think they may have run off the road). My love of the animal kingdom was renewed when I ran by a house where 2 young, and clearly goofy, Black Labs came bounding into their front yard to greet me. If I didn’t have to save my strength for that damn hill I would’ve liked to jump the fence and just wrestle and roll around with those 2 dogs till the geese found me.

Ah, yes, the hill. Well I ran up it - for about a mile and a half. Again, a subtle hill, but looooong. I amused myself with the thought that every time I run up a hill it’s by accident. I was slow but - hot damn - I did it. When I got home and said to my husband, “hey did you know there’s kind of an incline from here-to-here?” He says “well yeah, you know when you’re driving on that road and you’re looking up at the road ahead of you? That’s how you know.” Alright, can the sarcasm and give me a back rub.

One more thing, no two more things: 1) I had a cardiac stress test on Friday. Everything’s fine, but has anyone ever had one of these???? They’re kind of hard! You start out walking on the treadmill with a slight incline and the speed and incline are increased every 3 minutes for 15 minutes. By the end you’re jogging on max incline (another accidental hill ). So here’s what running’s done for me: By the time I’m on my last 3 minute segment, and I am really struggling but I am keeping up, the doc says “so you want to stop?” and I say “is the test done?” and he says “well we have what we need but there’s a minute and a half left if you want to finish it out.” and I was all “Hell (gasp gasp) Yeah!!” So I pushed through that last minute and a half for no one but me. I was yet to realize that the worst part of the test is going, in just a few seconds, from that level of effort to laying on a table on your side so they can get an immediate ultrasound of your heart. If I ever questioned the value of taking time to run or walk a cool down, I now never will. Laying on a table with your heart beating at near maximum equals nausea, shortness of breath, feeling faint - it sucked!!

Lastly - 2) Next Saturday is my 5 miler and I am really actually looking forward to it. I think that going and doing that 5k a few weeks ago was more valuable than I ever could have imagined at giving me confidence, and the desire to run with other people. My Dad is doing a water stop with his American Legion on the 30k branch of this run - he said “will I see you?” I said “you will next year Dad.”