Evidently I can’t not blog…
You know, I thought I needed to take a break, as it were, because I’ve just been feeling like a real mess for awhile and running, and blogging about running, and trying to stay positive and not fill my posts with all kind of self doubt and angst was getting kind of difficult. But it turns out that I want to keep running, I want to keep blogging, and I miss my RBF!
Regarding the primary reason I am feeling a mess, I will not bore the masses (or even the 7 or 8 people who read this 
) here. Masses wishing to be bored may visit here because, to my dismay, it appears that broadcasting my innermost feelings publicly holds some strange appeal.
As for running, I am. But I have been working hard to do away with the totally unnecessary pressure that I place on myself. I am not paying attention to my time/pace, but I am still incrementally trying to increase my weekly distance with 1+ to 2+ mile runs, but even more slowly than before. The outcome of this in the past week and a half has been that I have really enjoyed my runs, not dreaded them. I have been able to really appreciate some rainy, snowy, even cold runs because I stopped worrying about what I was doing and just went ahead and did it with no expectation. Right now, I feel very happy with this - with the other things I have going on right now, I want running to be my joy, not my (self-made) burden. Thank goodness I have the good sense to protect me from myself. 
So, the fact that I’ve started to wear my heart on my sleeve a little out here in cyberspace, about running, and now about other stuff is largely due to the kind and gracious acceptance and encouragement I’ve always gotten from the RBF. Again and as always, I am really thankful for this bunch of people who take the time to offer me such enthusiastic support at every turn.
Blessings.
Comment by Richard
Wednesday December 15 2004 @ 6:51 pm
Maybe its just me, but I thought that enjoying your runs was the main point. I’m glad to see that you’re doing so. Any follow-on benefits are, well, nice - but not the end all and be all of life.