the babes love me
I’ve been a posting machine lately. Post #3 for tonight…
Anyway, the title of THIS post got your attention huh? Keep reading. It gets better. Much better.
I had a young, good lookin’ blonde all over me today. She couldn’t keep her hands off me. In fact, she stripped me down to my shorts and…
I tell ya, this girl was into painful pleasures. Wucka wucka! (Oh come on – I run MARATHONS remember? Of COURSE I love pain!)
Okay, some admissions:
1) She was a professional.
2) I paid her.
3) She was a massage therapist.
I was sounding so cool until just now huh? I mean, it was like I was in high school again and I was actually scoring! (I can dream right?)
Today on Jon’s blog I admitted my shin splints have returned. Usually that means one of two things: 1) Old shoes, or 2) I’ve been doing some intense running. I’ll end the suspense right now – it’s #2.
My legs have also been REALLY tight this past week. Especially my calves. They’ve been like lead – especially since the 20 miler. AND I’ve had this irritating little cramp on the lower left side of my back for a WHILE now. Nothing major but it’s been buggin’ me to no end.
So I thought, “What to do what to do?”. Then I remembered how much massage therapy helped the last time I had shin-splints (about three years ago) so it was a no-brainer. I made an appointment and went this afternoon.
FRIGGIN HELL THAT HURT!
She “stripped” my lower back. IT HURT. She stripped my left calf and shin. THAT HURT. Then she stripped my right calf and shin (the one with the shin splint). That’s when I ended up clinging upside down to the ceiling like Sylvester the cat in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
The instruction a massage therapist gives to help you through the…ORDEAL of deep-tissue massage is…interesting.
“Tell me when the pain gets too intense ok?”
That question just makes me ask my own:
Does it mean I should tell her about the pain WHILE she’s driving her knee four inches deep into my calf and I’m biting into the head-rest, or do I wait till after I can actually speak again?
And what’s “too intense”? Is it mile 23 intense? How about mile 24? 25? 26? 26.25? I asked her MY question. She couldn’t help me since she’d never run a marathon. She just said, “yell if it hurts too much” and smiled. Hmmm…
So 45 minutes and $40 later, I was done like tenderized meat. That was a lotta pain I PAID for. I suppose a pretty good deal compared to a marathon entry fee which generally runs between $75 and $100 where I live.
So was it worth it? OH YEAH! Deep-tissue massage is da bomb man. I can TELL that one treatment is gonna make the world of difference and I’m already looking forward to tomorrow’s run.
If you’ve got aches and pains you MUST give it a try.
Oh yeah! For the record, my wife Lori is a much prettier blonde than Jennifer. I think that was her name.
(am I smooth or what?)

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Saturday October 02, 2004 @
[...] ope anyway… My massage therapist put my legs through absolute hell yesterday. After my last session where I instructed Jennifer that my calves and shins were the pr [...]