What’s happened lately.

Canada had an election! Which means I worked for about 40 days straight! Most of them 12 hours…(some more some less) (correction I think I had 2 days off).

But that’s ok….they paid me well.

1 uncle died (we were not close) and fermented in his home for a couple of days….that was lovely. BUT his children came to town, so we got to see cousins we hadn’t seen in a LONG LONG LONG time.

We drank way too much with them one night…fun…but SERIOUSLY painful. I mean…seriously.

ouch.

Chris went back to college, 2 hours away…a bit of commute.

My children grew up!

My furnace broke and was fixed.

I quit my day job (seriously, TOO mind numbing…gawd…kill me)

I’ve lost 21-25lbs.

Yay me!

My appointment with my family doc is next week to discuss my eligibility for a bre@st reduct10n.

What’s new with you?

Good, good.

Me? Oh nothing much.

Noah’s in grade one.

Bren’s in grade 7

Chris is back in college.

We lost a wheel on a 400 series highway from a jeep we were towing this weekend.

And I am considering br3ast reducti0n surgery.

Yup. That’s all.

So lets revisited that weekend.

we were towing a jeep in southern ontario and making a mini vacation out of it for  the kids.

It coincidentally ended up being Chris’s hometown so we were very stoked to go.

We got up at 4am to start the 8hour drive.

(8 hours!)

We packed up our jeep and within the hour had the kids up and in it.

We made exactly 5 kms. When smoke started billowing out of the towed jeep.

Chris pulled over and discovered that the towed jeep had somehow slipped into gear and blah blah blah.

He fixed it rather quickly, but noticed the “check engine” light had come on in ours.

He didn’t want to deal with it or risk a major break down (mine) along the way, and decided to trade vehicles with my father in law (the sour kraut)for the weekend.

Well…he had to go shopping and go to the reserve to buy, no doubt illegal cigarettes. And NO he could not take our jeep. So we waited until NOON to leave on our 8 hour journey. Gee, THANKS DAD!

Once we got back on the road things seemed to be progressing nicely.

However, looks can be deceiving.

About 4 hours in, we stopped to pee and eat some lunch from a chip truck.

When we were back on the highway for about 15 minutes I heard an unidentifiable noise.

Chris assumed my insanity and continued as planned.

Not 2 minutes later he looks out my rearview mirror and see a tire…axle attached rolling down the 100km/hr highway BESIDE us.

Yeah.

That was awesome.

We spent countless hours roaming around P@rry S0und at 7pm on a saturday night looking for a c clip.

We were not surprised when we did not find one.

A local wrecker picked up the jeep for us on his flat bed and that was that.

We continued our trip because well, it was at that time we realized that we had LEFT OUR BANK CARDS IN THE JEEP WE LEFT FOR THE SOUR KRAUT TO DRIVE. And had recently spent the cash we had on hand, on lunch.

We had enough gas to get us to our original destination.

We know this destination REALLY well, and have traveled there from many communites along southern 0ntario.

But never.

From NORTHERN 0ntari0.

It got dark, Chris forgot the m@pqest stuff in the jeep and we got a little lost.

Result?

One late fucking night.

oh!

and!

And!

The guy that was buying the towed jeep was leaving cash for chris taped to a freezer in his garage.

So we had to find him.

And Chris left his address in the jeep (sensing a pattern?).

And so we had to go by memory.

It was sideroad….

10th

and it had 24 in it’s house number.

Also, the driveway curved back to the road from the property and he had many vehicles in it.

So…we pulled up to the 10th side road.

And after going in many directions and scoping our many houses we thought we had found it.

curved driveway?

check!

large shop next to older farmhouse?

CHECk!

Many vehicles in the parking area?

Check! (although the did appear to be part of a fleet from an electrical company…but the guy wasn’t specific)

The shop was even unlocked.

And contained a FREEZER!

With NO money.

So Chris snooped and snooped.

We petted the dog ( a really cute basset)

We parked in the drive way.

And then Chris remembered that the guy said there would be a cherokee out back.

We looked.

No cherokee.

Um.

That’s called break and enter…or at the least trespassing.

Yeah.

We um, like.

LEFT.

EXIT STAGE FUCKING LEFT.

After much regrouping and some side of the road urination.

We called Feffie.

Who lovingly drove to our jeep and extracted the directions.

Oh.

It’s the 10th CONCESSION…riiiiiiight.

And the house number is 1313….riiiiiiiiiiiight.

Gotcha.

Um.

Opps?

At this point we threw up our hands and headed into town in search of suitable lodging.

After failing to find ANYTHING OPEN and/or VACANT we settled for searching for ANY lodging.

We knocked and knocked and were eventually granted a room with the promise to settle up tomorrow, this was a about 1am.

Chris and I had been up since 4am

The kids since 5 - 5:30 am.

Not pretty.

We hit the hotel and pretty much immediatly slipped into a coma.

Chris picked up the cash and left directions where they could pick up their new jeep.

The rest of the weekend involved swimming and more swimming, sand castle building and the jumping off of piers. (thank god they’ve both had swimming lessons).

And we returned home to find that a water main had broken in our neighbourhood and have to boil our water for the next week while they await a part.

gah.

so…

Rod was kinda fabulous.

It was kinda one of the best shows I’ve seen.

Seriously.

She is truly a prejudice person. She even prejudged the woman across the aisle from us on the bus. She assumed a: she was poor (she was not) and b: she was the one that smelled up the bus.

I still might go and kill her today.

so

much

complaining

ugh.

I dreamed out running last night. It is on my brain. It’s going to cool down this afternoon (7C this evening? WTF!)

ANd I will run.

Even though he totally forgot the words to a song.

Dude is 63 and can sing & “dance” for 2 hours.

while head butting soccer balls into the audience.

In other news, my mother is still alive.

BARELY.

OMG.

Seriously.

She is the most btitter person ever.

She hated dinner (the m@nd@rin), she hated our room (h0liday lnn) it was too “noisy” because we could hear people talking in the hall as they passed our room (which happened less than 6 times and they were mere murmurs), she wasn’t thrilled with the big swedish store.

She is the most RACIST person I have ever ever ever ever met.

Omg she would not share a bench with me at the mall because an asian guy was on the other end.

At one point she goes…oh god…”look” and I look over to see a mother with 3 children. They were middle eastern and they were dressed pretty traditioinally. And all the dresses matched. And so I said, oh that’s so cute. And she sort of made a noise that I didn’t really recognise.  later i can to realize that I was supposed to critize them with her.  ugh.

With my MOTHER (kill me)

To see….

ROD STEWART!

hahaha.

I swear to God that’s the truth.

A friend of ours organizes these special bus trips a couple of times a year and we kind of flaked out on her last year for C1rque du S0liel. So I immediately said yes this year, before really considering the fact that I am going to see…..ROD STEWART.

Luckily we have REALLY shitty seats and from that far back I’m hoping we won’t be able to see his girdle and maybe his head will look a little less like it’s about to explode under the pressure of said girdle.

And anyway I thought he had some horrible throat disease and would never sing again!

And then we’re going to a large swedish store that sells cheap furniture that you have to use your university degree and an alan key to assemble. I haven’t been to one in 3 years and I REALLY need to load up on cheap baskets and odd kitchen gadgets.

I’m thinking I’ll just fill my purse with mini bottles of random booze and knock one back every time my mother makes me want to kill myself her. I should be unconscious within the first hour.

I’ll be stealing Feffie’s camera and will surely post photos of Rod and his Canadian fan base. I may also photo document my decent into mayhem when I follow my mother (she who shall not conform to society’s laws of buffet lines or escalator ettiquette) into the giant swedish store and requests you follow arrows one way around said store in an orderly fashion.

Did I mention she hates crowds?

And noise?

And bright lights?

And pretty much everything else.

Pray for me.

But a good first day with the new feet kind of run.

But lets remember that I just moved. And while gathering my running paraphenalia I failed to find any shorts or capris suitable for running…which I could have lived with and just worn something else.

But THEN, I realized I had NO IDEA where my shoes are.

Now there is a sign I haven’t been running.  My running stuff was always with me. The first thing I’d pack for trips or visits or whatever.

Anyway, I’m still looking.

In other news, Noah dropped his cookie on the floor today and decided to WASH IT IN THE SINK.

Yeah didn’t work out as well as he thought it would.

Ick.

Have not been eaten by bears, so that’s good.

I’ve lost a bunch of weight so that’s good. (maybe 20lbs? or there abouts, I’m not paying close attention to the numbers)

And now I have a race to train for.

THIS ONE

An adventure race. I have ALWAYS wanted to do one, but never found anyone do them with.

A girl I work with has been running for about 5 years and just did her first race (10k she was 8th overall for and 1st in her age group…I hate her just a little) is interested too. And her trainer will help us get as ready as we can.

So tomorrow I start running again. Which I’ll do till spring….I’ll add my stationary bike in a few months, once running stops sucking again. And in the spring we’ll have to get out on the water in a kayak.

They say in the course info that you need minimal orienteering so I figure we can find someone to teach us about that and topographical maps.

Anyway it’s something to strive for.  And it’s something I’ve always wanted to try.

In other news….

SCHOOL STARTS IN 3 WEEKS!

Can I get an AMEN?

Although at one point I had to stop walking to and from work because there were SO MANY bears around.

Scary huh?

Anyway, we moved.

Again.

Ugh.

We bought a new house…well a new townhouse.

And by new I mean 25yrs old.

But it’s great….and of course better than renting.

And Chris might be leaving in Sept to back to school about 2hrs away from us.

So smaller digs without much maintenance will be great.

And if we end up leaving town or something, it’s perfectly rentable!

Anyway, so I’m not like dead or digested or anything.

But I am going into the wild on Sunday for a few days of camping, so there is still time to be viciously devoured.

OH…and here is a typical pamalama story for you.

We live in a part of the province that is surrounded by lakes, I think we have something like 400 lakes just in our immediate area.

So, we bought a boat.

A 16ft deep blah blah, 120 horses….oooh it was sweet.

And just before we went to pick it up, a guy in a log skidder backed over it.

OF COURSE HE DID.

Didn’t even get to sit in it.

No picnics, no waterskiing, no tenting on the various campable islands dotting the lakes.

Let me repeat that, BACK OVER BY A LOG SKIDDER.

Welcome to my life.

We are over run with them.

I won’t get into the political crap that surrounds the bear issue, but suffice it to say that the powers that be far far from bear country, have made it so it’s no longer safe to wander the streets without constantly praying you won’t be devoured by a HUNGRY bear.

We’ve had them enter the grocery store. We’ve had them on the school grounds.

My Dad’s garbage can was destroyed!

Noah’s little friends was corner in his backyard but a cub.

And we have three bears of varying ages roaming our neighbourhood, that is somewhat surrounded by bush.

We’ve NEVER had bears in town. NEVER.

And now…we have toooooo many.

It’s scary.

When I look out my livingroom window I can see a bear trap (the nice kind…it’s large and green…like a cage on wheels). Because people are terrified right now, especially Noah’s friend’s family.

They say, if he comes close to people again to call the OPP and they will have to kill it because he is obviously too bold.

They think people have been feeding it.

OH MY GOD!

Seriously? People from NOT BEAR COUNTRY thinks it’s ok to feed them…and the foxes and the racoons.

Good idea.

In other news….big things might be happening here…or…things will stay the same old shit.

Could go either way.

NEW! EXCITING!! FANTASTIC!

or

old…boring…whoa is me. sigh…same old same old.

what else have you missed.

OH!

I found a new wine I like.

My hair is a very dark brownish red right now.

My camera is STILL broken.

The puppies are all gone.

Chris rescued a turtle the size of a loonie today.

He is beside me right now in a little bucket.

He is the turtle whisperer…he has saved many a turtle from being run over.

I would reference those posts…but seriously……no.

I’ve been walking…almost everyday….and hiking…but we heard a bear on last one and are taking a little hiatus.

I think i might run soon.

Maybe…thursday.

hmmmm what else what else what else.

oh yeah…NOTHING!

ha!