Anyway, a non-productive weekend. Noah has a lingering cough (not like him). We celebrated Bren’s birthday…dinner, cake…more presents etc.

I applied for another job, that I don’t even want. But I will probably get because I have an insider. But it will be a job for now. i might wear a disguise to work but whatever.

I had almost NO physical activity this weekend. How sad is that?

last week my sister (not feffie) and I snowshoed across a lake and sat on it”s frozen rocky shore. Had a little wine, water and sandwiches. Our fire failed miserably and we were a little chilly having spent 5+ hrs in -30 windchills. But it was fun! And active! And HARD because of SO MUCH POWDER…exhausting like running in knee deep water.
But in a good way?
kind of.
Anyway I kept it up for most of the week and then fell flat for the weekend.

I haven’t given up on a return to running. No sir. In fact, I have been searching out my winter running gear, in hopes to get 5k walk/run in this week.

I have a hundred million bazillion reason NOT TO RUN, because dude, it’s cold! and also it’s WARM, the sidewalks are icy, and slushy. My ankle hurts! And by fuck it’s hard work!
But but but, I am forcing myself…to go (once I locate running gear…or at the very least a running bra because…OW! and also…EW!)

I’m a little bummed about that job. It’s one I would have done well at. I would have enjoyed it and I really felt my interviews went well.

GOD I HATE THEM AND THEIR STINKING ROTTING GUTS!

In other news…..

Dori is pregnant. That’s right the bich-poo and the labradoodle (standard size) successfully mated. We kind of didn’t worry about because I really really really didn’t think it could happen. Oops! I am wondering if she is going to just have one huge puppy?

Anyway proceeds of the sale of these ultra hypoallergenic puppies will go towards NEUTERING the labradoodle do, since I am morally opposed to fixing females…because menopause sucks! And we usually always always always fix our males…but nooo not this time! it can wait! he can’t even crouch down low enough for her.
Let me tell you it was QUITE disturbing…and also…a little hilarious.
heh.
LOL.
I will spare you the details but let me just say? Dori’s back feet were off the ground.

HA!

also

OUCH!

We recently went to Noah’s school for an OPEN HOUSE, he showed us around his new classroom and introduced us to his teacher. His teacher went on and on about how NICE he is and how she can tell he is just a good person. He is always quick to smile and the first one to help a friend. I beamed of course and was slightly speechless, not that my Noah didn’t deserve such praise but you know it’s different when someone else says it. Then we hung around for a bit while he showed me some work. The teacher greeted a LOT of other parents and did not have those things to say to them. Sure she said nice things about the other kids too but not like my Noah.

The Bad…

On Sundays we have started heading to my sister’s house (not feffie) for an afternoon of baking and then dinner. The kids play and I bake, while my sister pours wine and indicates what I should bake for her next. Brendan has a lot of friends in that area from school and last sunday they took him out into the bush to look for salamanders. He proudly came home with three. Mr Squiggles and his friends. He keeps them in moss in a margarine container.

Yesterday afternoon i was sitting on the couch when i caught movement out of the corner,  I thought it was probably an ant scurrying across the rug.

WRONG! It an AWOL Mr Squiggles running for the couch. I am not afraid of salamanders and have even held these particular ones but when it’s if running like a bastard across my carpet, I do what any mom would do. I scream like a girl and make brendan come and get it.

“Ayyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeee Brendan! Salamander! AAAAAh!!!!”

The Ugly 

I did laundry yesterday. A lot of it. I found a box of SMARTIES in the dryer!!! Yeah someone must’ve had a little hallowe’en box of them in their pants (was not me!) and I found them. After it had been washed….and dried.

Some of the clothes have a burnt chocolate smell to them. I bet Chris has a gaggle of women following him around today like fred flinstone coming home for dinner.

I will NOT be happy if it falls off.

Also, it hurts like a mother fucker!

MY
GOD.

Noah has reached a new level of defiante.

He has called me an idiot and stupid already today.

Clearly a visit to the newly non-smoking Grandmother is out of the question.

However, tethered to a pole in the basement is not!

He has also already lost the privilage of sleeping in the tent in the backyard with me Daddy tonight.

Mommy needs a break and as soon as Chris comes home I am out of here.

He can clean up the blood hold down the fort.

Seriously? Can you imagine calling your mother an idiot?

As in “You WILL take me to Nanny’s you idiot!”

I don’t even call his father an idiot even when he is one!

And now he is spitting at me cause he has misplaced some cars that have been scattered about the kitchen for a the last few days…I hate to say it but …I told him so.(I totally did…Noah I am not picking up these cars and they will be lost under the dishwasher and the fridge.)

And now he is being sweet to me.

I am telling him I am still angry at how he was acting(Because seriously it’s been like 4 minutes tops)…Does he like getting in trouble and not going to Nanny’s?

Noooo, Mommy.

And now he’s walking away…probably silently calling me some horrible name that would’ve gotten me the wooden the spoon had I even THOUGHT those words at 4.

2.5hrs…that’s all I need.

And possibly and exorcist.

G’head guess!

Sore throat?

meeeeh (wrong answer buzzer)

Fever?

meeeeeeeh

Stomach bug?

meeeeeh (although I am sure there is one in our near future, it has been awhile for us)

No…the reason he is not in school today is because.

I HIS MOTHER, THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED HIM AND NURSED LONGER THAN SOCIETY HAS DEEM APPROPRIATE SQUISHED HIS FINGER IN THE DOOR JAM OF THE WASHROOM DOOR!

Yeah and he has the black finger nail and swollen digit to prove it.

It happened about 10 minutes before we usually leave for school, so about 20 minute before school starts. It hurt so badly that I knew school as out of the question.

Immediately afterward he cried puddles of tears, sobbing for his FATHER.

“I want DADDY! Daddy will make it better. I NEED Daddy. Can you call him at work?”

And then some guy pulled up in an explorer and tried to make off with 4 6x6x8 posts we have laying at the bottom of the drive way.

This day is shaping up to be the awesomest ever.

No Chris.

I just KNEW something was up. Just knew it.

And then he called.

From the hospital.

Yeah, seems he was moving some huge sheet of glass at work with someone when if fell and broke. A 4ft shard fell at his feet, he simply picked it up and moved it the heap with the rest of the sheet, that’s when his boss noticed that front of Chris’s shirt (fleece, thank god it will come out) was covered in blood. Chris didn’t even feel it. He figures he was startled by the smash and was oblivious to the gash he received on his chin. A gash large enough to require 8 stitches to close it.

So he was slightly late coming home last night, our hospital likes to make you wait not matter what.

I should’ve taken a picture a of it last night, it was nasty. Today though, it hurts. The entry points of the four freezing needles are bruising. And? IT HURTS TO TALK.

So he went to the hospital, the cleaned it out a bit, THEN numbed it (so humane) and sewed it closed. Then they just sent him out. No bandaging, because he has a goatee, the Doc didn’t want to tape to it. And NO instructions on how to care for his stitches. Luckily he’s had stitches a bazillion times & his wife is the queen of looking this up on the internet and she didn’t let him SHOWER last night. (duh!)

I’m sure his day will be filled with with endless paperwork today. Incident reports and please don’t sue me reports.

So barring another hospital visit, I will be on my exercise bike tonight. Also, I’m going for a longer walk than usual today. After i drop noah off at school I will continue my walk around the subdivision.

Brendan’s allergies were really acting up before bedtime, I think there must’ve been a lot of chlorine in the pool this time. So we gave him an allergy pill and sent him to bed.

A hour or so later, while Chris and i were enjoying the couch, Brendan came out of his room and went to the washroom, when he was done he came half way down. I asked him how he was feeling and he whispered VERY quietly the he was ok. His voice sounded very odd, and Chris was worried that Brendan’s allergies where worse and we called him down to be sure. I could tell when he got to the bottom of the stairs that he wasn’t awake, he is prone to night terrors so we’ve seen him in his wacked out state before. Usually he mumbles some nonsense and then goes back to bed, only to come down about 5 minutes later completely unaware that he was JUST down and babbling.

Lastnight was different. He came down and walked right over to the couch, I asked him how his throat felt, he answered “ok”

And then he closed his eyes and was kind of acting like he was asleep. Like his eyes were closed. Chris said “Do you know who I am” (always a sure test) Brendan answered “No” And so he began to walk back towards the stairs, we said good night to him and watched him go back to bed…only he didn’t go back to bed. at the last second he turned on the like in the rec room and went down there, I had inflated an air bed down there during the day to see if it really did have a leak and I thought it would be hilarious if he just plunked down on that and went to sleep, I would cover him and leave him. After a few seconds we didn’t hear anything and I jumped up to go and find him. He was all the way down in the BASEMENT. I went down and took him by the hand and walked him back up three different sets of stairs to bed (I didn’t want him to wake up in the BASEMENT he hates it down there) I asked him what he was doing down there and he mumbled something about them not being open. I tucked him into bed and that was the last we heard from him. Man that freaks me out.

he must’ve been dreaming about skiing, at our hill you go to the basement to put on your boots and stow your regular boots.

The rest of the night was uneventful. This morning I woke up with Noah beside me. We chatted briefly and he let me know that he had to seek refuge with me on account of his lobster nightmare (Brendan used to have this one too). He dreamed that there were bad lobsters every where and that there was a crab in his BUMMY! It was dead a sticky (the green ones are VERY sticky you know) but daddy pulled it off and killed all the evil lobsters, but he didn’t kill the friendly whales, they gave Noah a ride.

I think it might be time to install latches on our screen door, these nocturnal adventures could get serious.

Other than this, the do have fun to a point. I can see Noah loosing patiences with him. Noah will be trying to talk to someone or everyone and nephew loudly repeats everything he says, to Noah that is not autism that is COPYING HIM AND THAT IS JUST BEING MEAN!

At the end of the visit which always is ended by some huge meltdown induced by my sister stopping nephew from clobbering Noah for whatever reason, Noah is stressed. And will exhibit some of nephews behaviours that night and sometimes the next day. And I kind of want to strangle him.

he mostly chooses the yelling or grunting to emulate. Charming. And I have a hugely hard time trying to explain to him why nephew does it and why Noah shouldn’t.

How do you explain autism and it’s behaviour issues to 4 yr old.

Last night Noah had me up from 2 – 3am. He came in at 2am and closed our door and then started to SHOUT at us to turn on the lamp. Chris held out his hand to help him find his way across the bedroom, and this caused Noah to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. And was immediately yelling and demanding. And so Chris scooped him up and brought him back to his bed. Telling along the way that showing up in someone’s bedroom in the middle of the night and immediately screaming at them was a not a great way to wake them up.

30 minutes later he was standing in the hallway calling for Brendan over and over. Clearly it was my turn so I hopped up and dashed into the hall. He thought Brendan was awake and sitting on the couch. It was my sweater and a blanket left on the couch from the night before. And ANYWAY what do you want Brendan for.

So I took him back to his bed and tucked him in. I climbed under the blanket with him and we had a warm snuggle. I rubbed his bad and he started to fade off to sleep. I kissed him goodnight and went back to bed.

JUST as I was falling back to sleep he comes in and tells us he wants to sleep with us.

FINE.

Get in

GO TO SLEEP.

But Dadddy? Can I have more room?

Gah. Eventually we all got back to sleep. Chris got up at 6am to find Brendan already awake (and yes on the couch) with a fever. And then he threw up. He is in the shower right now, shower number 2. He’s like his dad. The minute Chris gets a fever he’s in the shower 100 times a day. I think it does more harm because he has such HOT showers that he actually makes his fever worse if that’s possible. I am relatively sure Brendan will run out of hot water any second as his first shower was only 20 minutes ago. Scratch that, he was soaking in a warm tub. I brought him in a fresh towel and some toasty jammies and a hoody. He’s feeling like dirt still..but DAMN is he clean!
So that means. NO GYM again today. And NO run.

Gar.

I think I shall plunk my fat butt on my exercise bike and do that for an hour at some point.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Noah has decided that he doesn’t have to listen anymore. He argues with everything and today actually said the words “I don’t have to listen to you, I can do anything I want”

Now my mother’s parenting skills would have meant a smack on the butt and an immediate trip to his room.

And while part of me wanted to head butt him and send him on his way. I didn’t. I didn’t even send him to his room (at first). I calmly told him that he did indeed have to listen and no he cannot do anything he wants.

And then he mocked me.

Mocked.

Me.

And finally after an entire day of having a 4 year old repeat everything I say and not do one thing I ask. And a walk home from school that included him screaming in my face when I reached the step before he did (i didn’t even know we were racing) I tossed him into his room and closed the door. I told him he could rejoin me when he was ready to listen and BE NICE.

30 seconds later he said he was ready to be nice.

AND I FELL FOR IT.

27 seconds later we were right back at it. He had dragged his desk across the livingroom floor so he could sit on the couch and play with plasticine while watching TV and sitting on the couch. And when I asked him to clean the room and put back his desk I got more mocking and rudeness.

And then I lost it.

I forgot that yelling at your children for yelling at you, is not productive. I forgot that mocking your children for mocking you is just plain stupid.

And then I stormed upstairs like a 3 yr old, slammed and locked the bathroom door. I turned on the fan and hoped and prayed that chris would be home from work before I filled up the bathtub enough to drown myself in.

But of course I wasn’t left alone long enough to even find the plug for the tub (it was on top of the medicine cabinet of course!Because during last night’s bath Noah did not want to listen to the NO STORMS rule and lost plugging rights) before Noah was knocking…and then pounding and then actually KICKING the door.

I mean. WHAT is HIS problem? Does he get too much positive attention? He’s decided that negative attention better suits his style? Seriously?

His teacher hasn’t noticed a difference in him at all. She says he’s still “charming” and “polite”.

ugh.

I mean look at this face.

No imagine it being the boss of you.

ALL.
DAY.
LONG.