And For My Next Trick… January 19 2010
I got nothing.
Nothing new…really.
Chris works out of town, renovating hotels or something. He’s home mostly on the weekends but sometimes he will work through it and come home early the following weekend.
It’s HARD. I know…I know, I sound like sucky. But seriously. I was YOUNG when Chris and I began our life of living in sin, and we’ve been together for 16 years. I haven’t spent so much time at home alone with our children…EVER.
I mean it’s not like the summer of my discontent where I was kind of willing to sell them to anyone. But…it is…A LOT of work.
And you know what?
Teenagers suck.
A lot.
And they are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS hungry.
And they think you’re stupid.
But you should cook for them ALL THE TIME.
And get them more juice.
And that you’re stupid
And you know what else?
Noah uses entirely too much toilet paper.
Which is how I learned to PLUNGE a toilet.
Seriously I’ve never had to before. And I didn’t really fix the problem…but it stopped the toilet from over flowing and dripping into my DINING ROOM.
ick.
It’s STILL slow to drain…there’s a new one in the garage but….we don’t always have the time on the weekend for him to do that.
down with indoor plumbing.
Anyone this Sophia Lauren is a LITTLE creepy looking now?
Oops…gotta run I can hear the hauntingly familiar growl of an empty teenaged boy’s stomach.
*shivers*
Oh yes. I have a tween. They are hungry too. The best thing to do? Teach them to cook. Pancakes. It works wonderfully.
As for the bathroom? Hand them the plunger. When they slop it all over? Hand them the mop. Its very painful at first, but they are more careful the next time.
Screaming/yelling factor = 8.9
Oh, and the juice thing. What the heck is up with that? Somehow the nearest adult is the fetcher of stuff and the holder of stuff. Yeah. I just do the very long cold stare, until they go “Whaaaat?”.
Sigh.
I hear ya about the plunger, no fun at all. And my kids only eat whenever I’m not cooking. If I cook a meal? “I’m not hungry.” “That’s NASTY.” “I don’t like ice cream.”
As soon as my butt hits the sofa? “When are we eating?”
Whatever.
Jon, awsome idea.
However, Brendan ill only eat pancakes from scratch, and I am not willing to clean up eggs + flour + baking powder and milk off my entire kitchen. AND he’s the pickiest eater EVER. Right now he can cook, grilled cheese & Kraft dinner (ew). He can also make butter noodle but it’s too much work..so he refusing…oh and pizza he can that too.
And mostly I make him do it…BUT god.
And if I ask him to bring me a drink…OH MY GOD! It’s like slave labour!
Noah tries to plunge now and it’s disaster add a mop and your looking for trouble. And the toilet was actively over flowing…it really didn’t any encouragement from him. You are CRAZY if you think I am willingly giving Noah a plunger and toilet full of poop and toilet paper. NUTS.
LOL.
OH MY GOD, He JUST asked me to get him something to eat. I swear to god. LOL.
Brendan is picky picky picky. I mean PICKY.
The kids definitely enjoy Chris’s cooking more than mine. He LOVES to cook, went to school for it and has been doing a lot of our cooking for a while. (The entire year of my discontent) and now I cook all the time…and I’m kinda sick of it.
whine whine whine…I know.