Dinner Conversation August 22 2007
Chris took the kids fishing after work yesterday afternoon and I took a strudel to my mother and chatted with her while they were gone.
We regrouped for dinner after they were all fished out (didn’t catch a thing they almost never do).
At dinner they all told their tales of jumping off rocks into the lake (probably why they don’t catch a thing) and how far the dogs swam.
They also told me about how just before they left Chris threw a stick for the dogs, only this time Dori got there first and was on her way back…stick in mouth…when she encountered Sascha. Sascha immediately POUNCED on Dori and started to get a little aggressive with her OVER A STICK. No biting, but we’re talking teeth bared and some ugly snarling. Apparently Chris strolled over and gave him a good shove and it was all over. The conversation that followed was close to being the most bizarre I have ever had with my children and husband at once.
Me: Sascha needs to be fixed. That would probably eliminate little episodes like this. Poor Dori.
Chris: Yup, we’re gonna have to get his balls cut RIGHT OFF ::looks around the table for reaction from the kids..BECAUSE HE’S 12::
Brendan: bahahahahahahahaha
Noah: Can I have them?
Me/Chris: Have what?
Noah: Sascha’s balls, can I have them?
Me: You want the dogs testicles? Why? What will you do with them?
Brendan: *no sound, just vibrating laughter…might actually be choking on dinner*
Noah: I will put them on my desk!
Me: …
Chris: …
Brendan: *between gasps for air* he can put them on a plaque…..hahahahahahahahaha, they can be his paper weight.
Noah: Noooo not my desk…I mean my…um….ummmm
Chris/Me: …
Noah: my DRESSER! yeah that’s what I meant..my dresser.
At this point I am slightly disturbed and decide to move on with the conversation…I should’ve just changed the subject, because seriously..am I NEW or something? Gawd.
Anyway….
Me: You know, they can just put fake ones in…so Sascha can still keep his dignity and his dangly bits will remain dangly.
Brendan…hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Noah: ?
Chris: We should get them to do that, only instead of pingpong balls they should use HARMONY BALLS
At which point brendan fell right off his chair, and sascha started hitchhiking back to London.
Now I am laughing so hard that no sound is coming out!
This post should finally put to rest any notion that you might be a positive influence on those kids.
Dangly bits? What the heck is the matter with you?
And I think they are called neuticals, but in reality they help the owners feel better about it all. The dog couldn’t care less.
Now that’s funny stuff. Thanks for sharing. See my blog when you can. http://hardrunner.blogspot.com