Worse Than A Poke In The Eye With A Shakey Stick April 24 2007
Brendan and Noah were dishing to us about their friends down the street. Their Mom is nice and we get along fine, but she has always struck me as the “fake” mom. She all over protective and crazy attentive to them when you’re looking, meanwhile when they are out front on their bikes they rarely have helmets on and when it’s sunny and hot they never have hats on…you know the type.
either way they are decent people and I don’t mind the kids playing together. However, the middle child is a wack job (I am a middle child…shut up) and does some strange things when he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention.
Today Noah played with them and when I went to pick him up to walk to school he was just climbing off the TRAMPOLINE! (I have a very strict NO TRAMPOLINE rule in my house, as I believe they are springy death traps…our ER here in town was hugely busy this weekend due to trampoline injuries!Proving my point all the more) and he was running for his life because middle child and youngest child were throwing rocks at each other.
Over dinner while Noah retold this story for the 100th time Brendan piped in and said one time when he and oldest child were jumping on the trampoline (HELLO? NO TRAMPOLINE!) middle child was pissed that he wasn’t allowed on it with them and dumped a bucket of water on it and then? Threw a bucket of dry wall mud at them.
He has issues.
Clearly.
ANYWAY, Brendan also told us this story about how middle child threw a stick at his head…it only hit him in the neck but that’s besides the point. The point is the stick.
He called it the shaking stick.
Chris and I wondered what the hell the a shaking stick was.
Well it’s a stick that shakes.
What colour is it?
Grey
Is it pointy?
Kind of…well not really pointy but it has a tip.
How big around it is?
About this big (___) (you get the idea)
What do you mean shakey?
You push a button and it shakes…kind of…more like…….
Vibrates?
YES!
!!
That’s right. Middle child hit brendan in the neck with a fat, slightly pointy plastic vibrating stick.
At this point Chris and I blew chicken and basmati rice across the table.
(!!)
also, ew.
OMG!! I need to get up and clean off my computer screen now…
WOW!!! You will *never* see her in the same way again! I dare you not to laugh the next time you see her.
One more reason why I read Pam’s blog. My life will never ever by THAT f’d up.
ROFLMAO!!
*snort*
**Deene spits coffee on monitor** OMG!!
My question is…Who the heck owns a GREY vibrator?
Second I would tell my kids to run like the wind the next time they saw that “stick”.
Do you think your neighbor is aware of her kids, ummm, playing, with her toy?
I just don’t even know what to say
I have been reading your site for almost a year now and that is the first story that has made me laugh hard enough to leave a comment. Good Job.
HEY! Deb’s been LOOKING for that!!!!
geeez, when I was younger, NONE of my friends had toys like that to play with!!!! Must be a Canadian thing!
HAHAHAHAH!!!