Stuck April 08 2006
Jon you should avert your eyes…I know how you feel about the whiney posts. And this one will be slightly on the whiney side
I’ll write this today, because I know I don’t get much traffic on a Saturday anymore. And I just need to vent AND what the hell are blogs for if NOT to vent.
So…I think I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life. We should’nt have moved here. We should’ve stayed where we were. We would probably have sold the house (it needed to go) paid off the truck and rented a place for a while. And things would have somewhat stayed the same.
Now, I feel like I’m really and truly stuck here. It’s totally in my nature to plop a FOR SALE on the front long and hi-tail it at the first decent offer (real estate is picking up around here our house is already worth a lot more than we paid for it) pay off the truck and find somewhere nice to live. (Southern Alberta?)
You see, I moved here to be closer to my family. A family I rarely saw because we lived so far away. However, I think I saw them MORE OFTEN when I lived 6 hours away! Plus right now I’m not speaking to half my family (don’t even get me started on that topic) the one person (a sister..not Feffie) that I am speaking to has an autistic son and basically cannot leave her house. Noah hates going over there cause he is constantly bullied but the autistic kid. So we avoid it. My mother was gone for 2 months this winter..came home saw my children maybe 3 times and now that we aren’t speaking? You’d think she’d still try to see the kids….NOPE. Nothing.
And then there’s this fucking restaurant. I think opening a diner is great, if your kids are 12 & up. My children NEVER see their father. He works 6 days a week (only taking TUESDAY off) he’s gone before they wake up and often doesn’t return home until bedtime. This is not something they are used to. They’re used to Chris working 4 or 5 (tops!) days a week and always always always being home for dinner. ALWAYS.
It sounds so childish and bitter..but…I hate it here. And I can’t leave. Chris’s father followed us up here and I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s sick. Like cancer sick and he just hasn’t told us yet. My spidey senses have been tingling for a while now.
So I am slightly psychotic, I feel manic. I miss my old life. And right now I can’t see the future. I don’t think I can stay here. But I don’t think we can leave.
I’m stuck.
Any chance you’ve talked with Chris about this yet? Maybe he’s feeling the same way. He’s stuck at work 6 days a week and never sees his family (that’d be you and the boyz). Maybe it hasn’t turned out like he had planned either.
It sucks to be stuck.
That wise statement from the old man (Jon) could be true. Life is way to short to hate where you’re at in it! It’s not healthy either.
Possibly the answer is to drink more? Ok, so maybe not, but it is the only sage advice I can muster. Sorry, hope it works out for you.
It doesn’t sound childish and bitter at all to me, and I should know, since I hold Olympic records in both those events. I know there’s a way out for you. There always is. It may take some time to find it, though.
And I can totally relate about the extended family. Distance is often a very good thing.
Hang in there.
I am so sorry that you are feeling stuck. I understand that feeling and it is horrible. You are not being petty or bitter or anything of the sort. Frankly, I think venting in your blog is about the healthiest thing you could do for yourself at this point. You are not alone, and your feelings are totally valid. You deserve a chance to be heard. Even if you are truly completely stuck at this point, I hope it helps to know that there are lots of people out there, people you haven’t even met yet, who care about you and are wishing you well. If you need to vent more and don’t want to do it in a public venue, feel free to email me a rant. I will read the whole thing and I promise not to judge you. Sometimes we all just need a friendly ear.
Rant on and hang in there. But if you do decide on S.Alberta….you already have a friend in Calgary.
Kids will adjust to just about any situation if Mom & Dad can make it a happy place for them, they are a lot more resilient than we sometimes give them credit for. Sorry your feeling stuck.
Yep, stuck sucks. Move to Europe, it’s less cold.