I have to like, work again today. And while I am relatively sure I can get the POS onto the internet…I think they would frown on blogging from the store.
heh.
If ONLY!
And then…it’s HAIR CUT TIME…my hair has really gotten out of control. It seems be growing OUT more than in the regular direction, DOWN. I feel like a fuzzy pumper person.
So I am off to tame the beast…and then? I think I’ll run home.
Jon and I are training for a race…right Jon? (just smile and nod)
Have you woken up with your spouse’s alarm and not have a flippin clue what day it was? I woke up when the CBC started blaring at Chris this morning at around 5:30am. I knew I could go back to sleep but I couldn’t figure out for how long. Was it Tuesday? And I only had to get one person ready and out the door? Was it Saturday and I didn’t have to get up until I heard Noah making his own toast? Nope.
It’s wednesday and we all have to get the f*ck up and out the door before 9am.
Ugh.
So it’s wednesday and i work from 9am until 6pm. NO BLOGS FOR ME TODAY! I hope theres nothing exciting for you all to report on cause I am totally going to miss it today.
Nobody have any babys (wait you’ve all already had your babies right? There’s none left in the oven right? Well except Jon but that’s one going to be in there for months and months yet.)
Well I am off to sell formally high quality canadian made clothing to old women. Wish me luck….or a bullet in the brain.
Gah..I have to leave this job soon. Here’s the issue. I don’t care about it. you know? Like the handed me this key and most times they just leave me alone but SOMETIMES they want me to get all excited about something with them or nervous that head office is coming for a visit. But I can’t! I just think “head office chick is SUCH A BITCH, I hope she doesn’t piss me off enough to scream at her” The last woman in my position quit because head office chick scared her. SCARED HER? I know two magic words that would make MOST management leave you alone…forever. Fuck & off. You can also throw in BIATCH for good measure. Anyway the point is The two other (fabulous) women I work with LOVE and CaRE about this store (well one is questionable but she cares more than I do). I DO NOT. I care about the women which is why I am in this position in the first place. So I either need to start to pretend that I CARE about the “Denim EVENT this week wooot!” or get the hell outta dodge.
And then?
I would have more time to RUN!
And train for some upcoming race I am trying to convince Jon to meet me at so we can commence our affair (since his wife is pregnant…he’s been looking for a little action on the side)
heh
Clearly Noah did not approve of my choice of wallets.
But it went SO WELL with my little brown purse.
Man those are some seriously crabby eyes, yes?
Can you imagine a week completely off? OFF without ANYONE walking in on your in the washroom? Without ANYONE needed 212 glasses of water at night? You could get up in the morning, drink as much tea as you wanted. Blog until you are all blogged out and the blog somemore. And no one would be pissy that you actually made them get up in the morning. No bums to wipe! Ohhhhhhh imagine. Close your eyes with me and imagine the silence. No walt disney, no remote control car noises. No missing buses. No talking back. No TALKING PERIOD. Now can you imagine an entire week of that? On a beach? With a drink in a coconut shell?
Nah me either.
Happy Monday.
Do you like my new design? It’s got Zootness written all over it doesn’t it? That’s good cause she totally did it for me and I love it. LOVE IT
I heart all things Zoot.
now there’s some keyword searches for you. heh.
Anyway…a tale if shite.
Yesterday during a lull in the activity at the restaurant an old man pulled into the parking lot and sat in his car for about 5 minutes before coming into the restaurant. He ordered a coffee to go and asked where the washroom was. our waitress A pointed the way to him and went to work getting his coffee (she needed to make a fresh pot…we used FRESHLY ground beans in our restaurant). Then she got busy taking care of other things and failed to notice the time passing, until she saw his coffee sitting on the counter. It had been 15 minutes. She went in the back to warn Chris that perhaps and old man had pass away in the washroom and it wasn’t in her job description to remove bodies.
An argument ensued….
Shortly after A threatened to stick her milkshake maker up Chris’s butt the old man reappeared looking rather piqued he said the following “do you have a mop and bucket? I’ve been sick”
Not knowing what else she could possibly do, she handed him the mop and bucket and marched him right back in there.
He came out a few minutes later to pay for his coffee and be on his merry (old & decrepit) way. Chris had to FORCE A to serve him. She didn’t even want to take his money. She was gagging as she approached him (Chris found all this rather amusing).
He left with his coffee and no further mention of his illness.
This is where they were when I arrived. A was serving a few customers and Chris was in the back making hamburgers. No one had looked INTO the washroom. A told me someone had vomited in there and that she was in NO WAY Cleaning it. I agreed and we decided that Chris was totally the best candidate for the task.
And then I pushed the door open with my foot.
Holy Mary Mother Of God.
It was like he blew up in there.
There was SHIT everywhere. I mean E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. It was on the walls, on the sink pedestal, on the toilet, between the seat and tank , on the door, on the garbage pail.
It was disgusting.
So I sent Chris in..of course. And after several minutes with a bottle of bleach a bucket a mop a pair of gloves and a sponge, he came out to ask A if the man was covered in it when he left.
A didn’t notice.
But Chris figures that if he wasn’t naked when he did the deed then he must’ve been covered in it when he left.
From the amount of shit in there and the area he covered with it, we think he may have been perched on the back of the toilet and possibly rotating (much like a sprinkler) while he moved his bowels.
And then he left.
My only question is this…if you had FIVE MINUTES of sitting (i said SITTING) time in your car before the urge to shit all over a public washroom, why not DRIVE YOURSELF home? Our town is SO tiny you can pretty much get ANYWHERE in it within 5 minutes.
ew ew ew ew
I will never pee at the restaurant again.
ever.
moral of the story?
Even OLD men are full of shit.
