Stupid Nature June 29 2004
We were out enjoying our back yard this afternoon. Noah was running around like a lunatic. Brendan had 2 (million) kids over to play. Chris came home and we were chatting on the deck while the kids ran around. Shortly Noah came toddling over, showing us his arm and was quite proud of it.
On his arm was a tiny little ant. Noah called him baby (I think..but it could’ve been Lady since he had met a lady bug or two over the weekend) and as he was showing me, the little ant crawled all over his arm and onto his hand. I then watched in horror as the little ant SUNK his teeth (?) or whatever into his flesh! So I swatted it off and squarshed it into the deck. Mashed it to smithereens! It was D-E-A-D dead.
We continued chatting and Noah sat between us and babbled away. I noticed another ant on him and then another and yet another. Yup you guessed it, he had disturbed a nest.
And disturbed he did. He had basically chopped in half. There were about a million VERY angry ants. Milling all over one corner of our back yard. They all sorts of object in their hands (?) that I never ever care to identify. They were kickin ass and taken names (or something). They killed a couple earwigs (yay ants) and we saw more than 3 pill bugs rolled up into their little ball fetal position.
Meanwhile Noah is lunging at the hump of dirt longing to play with them. PLAY!
Is this a preview of what my life, with 2 boy children and 1 (semi) adult male in my life? GOD help me!
As I type this there is a baggy with 3 dozen LIVE crickets in it sitting on my computer desk and 3 frozen BABY mice in my freezer.
I need some girls.
And I don’t think the dogs count.
Brendan has recently discovered musical humour. “My Dingaling” “big Balls” etc. Do you KNOW how many times I hear him sing the line (with the accent and all) “I have great big balls of FIRE!”. This is NOT appropriate dialog for the grocery store. Yet that’s what I found upon entering the produce section!
Send estrogen QUICK!
