One Step at a Time

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my philosophies on life.  The other night, I went to Taste of Edmonton (if you’re ever here you MUST go and have the green onion cakes …. oooh la la) with my girlfriend.  Corrie and I are a pair that just “click” in conversation.  She’s one of the smartest women I know, frankly.  We started talking about really defining one’s life philosophy, your “code”. 

I won’t get into it all here, but I will share one major aspect of my code, as I just figured out this morning how it relates to running and fitness.

I truly live my life seeking out opportunities for joy.  From the time I was a child, I have been very aware and appreciative of my surroundings.  I remember being very young, and on my Dad’s shoulders on a family trip in the Rocky Mountains.  At probably five or six, I remember closing my eyes, and trying to preserve the beauty around me in my mind.  And the joy in that moment didn’t come from just the magestic mountains, but from the fact that our whole family was together at that moment, still and in awe of the creation before us.  I can see my brothers, not fighting or teasing for that moment, just turning, degrees at a time, to take it all in.  I remember my mom, glancing up at me fondly, and then nestling in to my dad’s shoulder.  There we were.  At that time, to me, that was joy.

Now I prescribe joy in my life in everyday ways.  I know that I need to be in the water, in a recreational sense, at least every second day.  I need to start my day by writing and end it by reading.  One of my greatest joys as a parent is surprising my kids.  That might be a note, that might be chocolate chip pancakes on an otherwise mundane Wednesday, that might be cranking the music on a quiet drive home from swim practice.  I love the “Mom?” look in their eyes that shakes up the routine of their life. 

For a long time, I resigned myself to the fact that joy to me would never relate to fitness, and certainly never to running.  I plowed through working out and learning to run, thinking that my sliver of joy may come from the accomplishment, but certainly not the process.  Now, a disclaimer:  I am not a marathoner … I have yet to run a distance that truly makes me dig to the bottom of my soul to carry myself across a finish line.  Capiche? 

That being said, I have shifted my thinking from the joy in the aftermath of the run — the exhileration, the tingling legs, the bit o’ bragging rights that I have to my small runs (and only to non-runners, really …)  Those are all still joyful, believe me.  Now, I have challenged myself to find joy in the muck of it.  To use the run to look around, to breathe in and try to muster a grin.  To be in awe of the world around me, to be appreciative of every step my body can take.  To be silly, and when I run up to a puddle, think about what my son would do, and jump in with both feet.

I’ve completely reframed my run.  For a girl whose run was feeling pretty mundane, prescribing joy into my run has just spilled over, and made me more conscious of doing that in my everyday life.

Before I start carpe-diem-ing all over you, I challenge you to think of five ways you’re going prescribe joy into your life, or just into your run this week.  (You didn’t know I was going to end this with a list?  Ha!  Get to know me! )

Mine are:

1.  I’m driving into the city tonight, for the soul purpose of running along the river valley in Edmonton.  One of my favorite spots that I need to make more time for.

2.  I’m not allowing myself to feel an ounce of guilt for keeping my weekly massage appointment for the third week in a row.  (Okay, we have coverage, so that’s not much of a stretch.)

3.  This weekend, we’re going to take our company out to Chickakoo Lake, where I will carve out even 20 minutes to run the beautiful trails.

4.  I’m going to make a gorgeous salad for lunch, just for me, even if my kids have hot dogs.

5.  When Camryn gets out the playdough this afternoon, I’m going to use the time NOT to make supper, but to make snails and squishy snowmen.

So …. what’s one of yours?

Camryn was in my bedroom, watching me get dressed for my run this morning.

Camryn:  “You have big b00bies and I have small ones.  See?”  (flips up D0ra nightie)

Me:  Yep.

Camryn:  Why do you get the big ones?

Me:  Hmmmm …. because Mommy is an adult?

Camryn:  You’ve got princess b00bies, Mommy!  You’re lucky!  Pretty princess ones!

Me:  Wow … thanks!

Camryn:  Do they bounce around when you run?

Me:  Sometimes.

Camryn:  Oh.  (sympathetic pause) That’s why you have to tie them down with the bra, right?  So the b00bies stay down and behave?

Me: (laughing to hard to respond like an adult)

Camryn:  (completely serious)  Can I get a D0ra bra?

1.  I can only tolerate the heat (here that’s 30 degrees Canuck and above) if I am by water.  Not a glass, but a lake.

2.  I am a “runner” enough to teach someone else to run.  Ha … that’s a stretch of sorts.  “Someone else” is actually Gunner, our new little dog, who has completely stolen my heart.  He’s doing 3 minute runs, 1 minute walks … and he’s happily enjoying our nightly clinic. 

 3.  I am a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and just an all-around better gal when I’m running regularly.  I need to remember that.  Tattoo it on my forehead or something.  When things get rough, it tends to be what I give up, in the so-called name of time management.  That’s just …. ridiculous.  

4.  Kids are like creative volcanoes, just erupting constantly.  Since school has been out, my kids have created a comic book series, painted a mural, and made a paper-mache skateboard park.  It is completely insane of me to try and constantly clean up the creative mess throughout the day … we all just pitch in at the end of the day and try to make order of it all.

5.  I am happiest in my home the neighbourhood congregates here.  I don’t know what it is … the handing out of the mass amount of popsicles, the shrieks as we set up the sprinkler under the trampoline, or setting up the tent for everyone to crowd in and giggle.  It all gives me great joy.  It’s the kind of neighbourhood I would have wanted to grow up in, if I’d lived in town when I was a kid.

6.  Regular massage is not a treat, it’s a health care practice.  I’ve made the “standing appointment”, after finding a most amazing therapist that is only a walk away from my house.

7.  At some points, you have to re-visit your Very Long Term Goals and make sure that your daily actions are at least relating to those in some way.  That’s a whole other post for me, but for the first time in a long time, I’m making that work.

 So …. to borrow the line from Oprah, what do you know for sure today?

After a very kid-oriented summer day at home (sprinklers, hot dogs for lunch, sidewalk chalk, taking a remote control truck to the nearby BMX track … you get the idea …), by evening when everyone was settled, squeaky clean and watching a movie in PJ’s, I headed out for a run.

The sky was dark and somewhat eery and I started out slow.  I got my groove and things were feeling good, and I was about 3.3 km from home when the rains began. 

And it rained HARD.

I turned back and ran hard back home. 

To me, there is something utterly glorious about running in the rain.  There are no sounds to contend with, except I could hear the odd teenage shriek from further down the path. 

Although soaked, and eventually cold, running through that downpour I felt strong, capable, clear-minded, dedicated, invincible even.  

Need to bottle that feeling up for the sunny days.

If you’re here for the first time, and you’re poking around, and you find some posts formatted like this:

 I ? went for a run ? yesterday?

I would like you to be aware that I do not talk like a Valley Girl circa 1985.  Something happened to the formatting of some of my posts, around the time of the changeover, and I’m trying to figure it out. 

My trip was really excellent … and really necessary.  I felt very adventurous, driving the kids that distance on my own.  I love my friend Jacquie and her family, and I love time at the beach, so it all worked out beautifully.  Her husband took the boys on tube ride after tube ride.  All those squeals and screams, I love it.

On the way back, we stopped in Golden, BC.  I have a cousin there, who used to live in New Mexico, but now has relocated there with her husband.  We don’t visit very often, but I grew up with her and we have a very dear friendship.  We arrived in Golden on Thursday a.m., scheduled to visit Cousin and Hubby on Friday a.m..  I hadn’t booked a hotel, because typically we have a little cheaper hotel in Golden that we stay at, because it has a pool and waterslide that the kids love … and well, because it’s cheap.  It’s never booked up.  Of course, when we pull up, two gigantic tour buses are there.  Japanese tourists are coming by the busload to Golden, as a midway point from Vancouver, heading to the Calgary Stampede. 

Five hotels later, I’ve found nothing.

Last hotel is a nicer, newer one … with four buses parked outside, so I’m thinking there is nothing for us …. but the front desk person tells me indeed there is a room.  The African Suite.  I choked on the price, but realized it was that or sleep in the SUV.  She apparently felt sorry for my choking, and knocked $100 off. 

What a beautiful room.  I’ll post pictures when I can get to it.

Think:  all four of us sleeping in a super-king bed (so much fun!), the kids watching Treehouse from the Jacuzzi tub … it was a HIGHLIGHT of the holiday for them!  And yes, I’ve completely spoiled them from going back to the CheapHotelWithFunWaterslide.  Sigh.  That’s life, you roll with it.

When I got home, I got violently ill with a fever that scared me.  Doctors are puzzled, I’m still puzzled at how I got so sick.  I had hallucinations from the fever (106 degrees at times) and horrible periods of complete chills.  Five days of my life that I don’t really remember … in and out of bed … and a whole lot of laundry at the end due to the sweating?!  Awful.  Finally got an antibiotic that works, and am feeling like myself.

A couple of weeks ago, I was doing this thing.  I’d put on these shoes and really cool shirts and shorts, and then I’d go outside and put one foot in front of the other and try to mobilize fairly quickly …..

Oh yeah … running.

I need to rev up my romance with running.  We’ve been keeping things pretty casual these days … ran a bit in Penticton, but not as much as I’d have liked to run gawk at the beautiful real estate. 

So, I’m thinking I need a commitment.  I’m looking for a 10 k clinic that ends in a race.  When I read my stuff from last summer … that was a girl infatuated with running.  That sizzle has gone, and now I have to work at keeping it fun.  Because it would be just like me to take up fencing or something.  (Not really.  I can’t imagine fencing.  I’d giggle too much to do it properly.)

 In other news:

• my basement has new flooring, some of my living room walls have new paint
• my oldest son, Troy, who turns 9 tomorrow (wow!), is now sleeping in the basement, and almost instantly, has begun acting moody like a teenager
• my friend, a vet, is dropping off a dog for us next week!!!!!!!!!!!  (Don’t tell my kids.  Even when the dog is here, actually.  Huh?  I’m telling the kids that Dr. Teri needs us to take care of this dog for awhile, because she has agreed to take it back if it’s not right for our family.  They are going to be SO excited.  It’s been four years … maybe five? … since we had to say g’bye to our dog, Sharky.)
• Derek’s tree frog, the beloved “Trooper” passed away.  The service was simple, but sweet, and lots of tears were shed in the sticky-footed guy’s honour.  His terrarium-mate, Trevor, has been croaking a lot lately, which means:  a) he’s dying too;  b) he’s lonely; or c) he’s had a hand in Trooper’s death and is suffering from guilt.  Thoughts?
• Kevin got a motorcycle, to commute to and from work.  How do I feel about this?  I have no idea.
• Troy is becoming quite the competitive swimmer!  He’s loving his swim club, and his backstroke is fantastic.  Another meet this weekend.
• Camryn’s newest quote:  “I have all the pretty things I could ever want, Mommy.  I need some cool and awesome things now.”  (???????)

You’re officially done sitting in the breeze with me, listening to this very lengthy update of my life.  Go for a run and try to make up for all of that lost time.