Know what?
This is so hard. I know that sticking to this diet is nothing in compared to, say, battling a war or taking chemo or burying a loved one. But in the scope of my life right now, this is bloody hard.
Do you know how many times I reach for sugar without even thinking?!?! Do you know how much sugar enters our house without my control?? My mom baked cookies with my daughter yesterday and sent them home with us. The boys got a booster juice after swim club …”Mom, you wanna taste?” All of the stuff I can’t eat right now seems EVERYWHERE. All of the stuff I can eat seems like an EFFORT.
The Diet Coke thing, as hard as that is for me … has been manageable because I just haven’t had it in the house. Today, Camryn and I are going out for lunch with my friend and her daughter … and I know I’ll want to order one. Instead, I’ll go for the water. Sigh. And I just got an email from Jacquie, trying to plan our vacation, and as crazy as this sounds, I can’t IMAGINE sitting with her and talking for five hours and not cracking a Diet Coke. Sigh. These days, I’ve been drinking water with lemon slices, water with lime slices, water with lemon and lime slices, and water with cucumber slices. If the last one sounds gross to you, you should try it. I went to a spa once and that’s what we drank post-massage and it was heavenly. Not sweet, but completely refreshing. I wish I could get it in a can that goes pssssssssssssssssssst when you open it. That sound literally relaxes me. How sad is all this?!?!
Am I just shallow? Or is radically changing your diet the toughest thing ever to do? I hope I get the benefit of some huge, no GIGANTIC, swing in my personal wellness for making these tough changes.
And in my state of deprivation, where I needed to be treated carefully, the boys’ swim coach comes up to me for a chat yesterday. She starts all positive, telling me how well Troy is doing swimming. Then she continues. She doesn’t know if Derek is up to this. If he can read the workout and follow-through. She knows he loves the water, but isn’t convinced that his heart is there, so she’s going to make a decision on Thursday. I just blinked at her. It’s all I could muster, really. I’m thinking, Was it not rookie week last week? Were you not supposed to tell me that he was “borderline” before I wrote the cheques and got the kid all pumped up about being a part of this team and gave him his new backpack and his new racing suit? I’m not discounting her opinion, because he indeed is a distracted little guy … that’s just a fact. But he ADORES water, and he has a big need to move and I think once they have a few races, he’ll catch on to why they’re practising so much. We’ll see on Thursday, but I was kind of ticked that she didn’t let me know this prior to the weekend.
Interestingly, but not surprisingly, when I am “kind of ticked”, I really, really want sugar. I was itchin’ for chocolate last night. Instead, I went to bed. Sleeping more and not eating crap. Hmmmm. Might be on to something.
