One Step at a Time

Thanks for everyone’s kind words. I know some stuff about the situation at the doctor’s, but not everything … and what I do know, I haven’t yet shared with my family or close friends. I feel I need to do that before I can blog about it, somehow. I’ll spill all of the details when I can, I promise.

I deal with stress of the extreme variety very poorly. Medium-intensity stress … I’m great with that. I kick in to gear and take names. Extreme stress though … well, it shuts me down. I want to crawl into a hole and just be by myself with a box of kleenex, a pen and paper. This was a hard weekend for us. I acted so irrationally … as in control freak irrationally (“Why did you spill water on the deck!??!!? Grrrr!!!!!” )… to my kids on Saturday, that I’m truly embarassed. I don’t lose it often … in general, I’m very even-natured with my kids … so it upsets me a lot when I do. I did meekly apologize to them today about it, but I am ticked at myself, because I’m a firm believer that adults should just behave well … and I did not. My family would’ve certainly been better off this weekend if I’d just found the hole and took some time for myself. Sigh. Do better when you know better.

On a running front, I did buy new shoes. Saucony’s, like my other pair, which I’ve adored. The Running Room Shoe Guru basically quoted Jon … and even said that running in snow / rain can beat shoes up quickly. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to run in these new shoes yet, because I can’t even walk much of a distance without limping. I was on my feet a lot last night, as we had to go to a 40th birthday party of my friend’s husband (in my mood, this would have been about 4,394,322 on the list of things I wanted to do, but it was a surprise and I had to bring ice and taco dip and ) … blah, blah, blah … anyways, the side of my ankle was even swollen yesterday. The doctor said not much … stay off it for a week, ice it, ibuprofen, and then gradually get back into the swing of it. I guess in the good news department, my doctor has resigned himself to the fact that I’m going to run.

Okay … with all of this low-mood stuff … I almost forgot to share the FANTASTIC news that I received on Friday. I have been accepted to a workshop for ‘promising children’s writers’ in May. There is about 500 applicants, and only 100 have the opportunity — 50 for Western Canada, and 50 for Eastern. When the woman called me, I almost thought it was a prank. And the ironic thing is that the story I submitted with the application is one I literally wrote within half an hour. Lesson learned: go with your gut.

….. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Say a prayer, send good vibes, think good thoughts … I’m asking if you might do what you’re inclined to do for me today, as I’m going for some medical tests today. I”ve had these before, but they still worry me all the same. They have to do with some serious sun exposure I had in my teens, during the lifeguarding days … and of course, I’m just praying that it’s nothing serious.
After the appointment, I’m off to the Running Room to talk shoes with my favourite experts. A little retail therapy always makes a girl feel better, y’know?

Any references to my writing ability and the post title will be smacked and edited. Don’t mess with me. My ankle hurts.

Jon had this list, and I’m not waiting to be tagged … this kind of list just begs me to write it.

10 Simple Pleasures:

1. The sound of a Diet Coke can opening, with my friend Jacquie mid-sentence, analyzing life with me in a detail that only we can appreciate

2. Sliding into my hot tub on an icy-cold night

3. A moment of silence to watch any of my kids sleeping

4. An unexpected, midday neck rub when I’m at the computer

5. A surprise in snail mail form (my friend T. is famous for sending cards. You know the kind on paper, with a stamp … remember those?)

6. A new pen and notebook … for lists, for story ideas, for whatever!

7. A really shiny, clean kitchen sink

8. The instant terror-that-turns-to-pleasure of submerging into a cool lake on a really hot day

9. plump blueberries … a whole bowl … and no one around to share with at the moment

10. knowing that you’re wearing expensive lingerie under a sweatshirt and jeans … that can make me smile all day!

How ’bout you?

I’ve noticed over the past few days that when I can’t run, I get very, very strange. Antsy, as in I want everything done NOW and PERFECTLY. I’m not grouchy in the typical sense, but I get extremely restless. I don’t feel like I can relax properly. I definitely cannot sleep properly without regular exercise. I need to get my yahoos out in a bad way here.

I’m going to scrub my kitchen and entry (this season + kids = a whole lotta dirt in here) and then take a (slow) walk up to the school as I’m volunteering in Troy’s class this afternoon.

I can’t run. Bottom line. Chopping off the ankle seems reasonable, I think.

To Do:
Thursday: Running Room

Friday: doctor’s appointment

Today: pout like a baby

What a big morning!

Camryn and I met my friend S, and her daughter A. (I’m not sure about my policy on printing people’s names that I haven’t asked permission about …) and we did some “soccer drills. ” The girls are 3. These two honestly have it in their heads that this is their “team”, and we’re at practice. They call us “coach” and are constantly throwing around phrases that their big brothers use, like “Awesome shot!” It is the cutest thing EVER. There was more squealing, screaming, and rolling on the ground than you could imagine. Age three is soooooooooo much fun!

Ever have some future direction looming, and you’re not sure what you really want the outcome to be? We’re waiting on some approval for curriculum development for the college program I teach, and if we’re awarded the project, it means a sweet high-paying, flexible-around-kids job for me this year. That all sounds great, but curriculum development is also HARD work, and I’m more of a creative writer than anything, so it’s not always easy to motivate myself. So, I can be happy about it going either way.

Walked last night and the ankle flared up, but not as bad as after my run. Derek wants to run with me after school, so we’ll see how that goes.

Got out for a run this a.m., and I only went 15 minutes at a barely-above-snail pace (doesn’t your Forerunner have that read-out? Click the snail button….) and I had to stop. This ankle is driving me crazy. I don’t want to be on Ankle Rollercoaster again. Last fall, it was the same deal and I bought the new shoes. Now I’m wishing that I’d track my mileage better, because I just can’t imagine that I need new shoes eight months later?? I think I’ll take them into Running Room on the weekend and see if they can give me advice. And what they suggest for my overseas investment portfolio. And if they have a good jerk chicken recipe. And what I should do about Camryn’s dry skin. Yes, I put a lot of stock into what those Running Room people say, I know. So … how often do you replace shoes?

We’ve had a busy week here. Our neighbours — dear friends we’ve known since our eldest children were weeks old — have gone to Victoria to go house-hunting, and so we’ve had their three boys for the week. Their two eldest are the exact ages of Troy and Derek, so they’re all at school. Their youngest is almost 2 years older than Camryn. Today, we went to a picnic at the park with a bunch of moms and kids. It was a blast. I love the fact that summer is in the air!!

As I was getting these kids ready for bed last night, and tucking them in (after we had a very chatty and very silly hot tub party), I had a very strong feeling about this situation. It was a feeling of doing things exactly how I want to be doing them. Does that make sense, even? Maybe that’s not so foreign to you. So often, I am a “what if” or “shoulda/woulda/coulda” thinker, that an overwhelming peace came over me that I was doing the kinds of things with the kids exactly how I want to be doing them. I always envisioned that my house would be a hang-out for my children’s friends. It would be a place where any friend could come, help himself, and feel at home. A place where kids would want to choose to hang out. I don’t know why that is so important to me … it is the kind of house my mom had, I suppose. I think it’s critical to know your kid’s friends and have a relationship with them. I also think it’s critical for your kids to see you extending kindness to people. Plus, I think that the simple gift of hospitality gets lost in the crazy pace this world keeps.

Last night, Troy and Oldest Neighbour Boy (ONB) were talking in bed, in the basement where we set them up to sleep. I was working in my office, and admittedly, straining to eavesdrop. They were talking about what ONB would miss once he moved. Troy said, “I’ll bet you’ll miss the BMX track.” ONB said, “Yeah, I will.” Troy said, “And your house.” ONB said, “Yeah. And your house too.”

That makes me feel very, very peaceful. To be on par with the BMX track to an eight-year old boy is a good thing.

From 1988- 1991, I attended the University of Alberta and took my degree in Recreation Administration. Your beloved blogfather was in the same program, and like the diligent students that we were, we faithfully took part in our faculty’s tradition each week: “FADS” … Friday Afternoon Drinking Society.

In all of the beer that was drank at FADS, and in all of the mayhem that took place, let it be known that Mark never, ever showed up in a skirt. Not once.

He must’ve been restless for a decade or two to try one, because now he’s ordered a running skirt (and matching bra ensemble, no less) and is prepared to wear it, if enough bloggers can convince him. We need 100 bloggers (or friends, families, hairdressers, dog sitters) to support a charity — any ol’ charity of your choice — and leave him a comment on his Skirt Challenge post saying that you’re in. He’s not just going to wear it, and have his wife video it for your viewing … ummm .. pleasure, but he’s going to race in it! You can read all of the details over at Mark’s place.

Cover your eyes, and that of your small children, because at the end of this post is a reasonable facsimile of what he may look like (thanks to the creative Dawn!).
If you want the REAL interview with Mark about this challenge, head on over to Susan’s.

All in the name of charity, folks! Climb on board and cover your eyes!!

P.S. to Mark: How proud Dr. Dave Mitsui would be to see you now, Mark!

With way too much chocolate consumption, and not enough physical activity, I somehow survived Easter at the farm. Barely though, as I was itching to get home to some internet access to see how the Amazing Hip was doing in Boston!!

And he proved his superhero status … 3:19: 43!!!!

We all know that Jeff is an amazing guy … he’s an elite athlete with a genuine heart for injecting confidence in even the most beginner of runners (that’s me.) There are times when I’m on my measly-little-30-minute run, and I think of Jeff and his track runs, and the intense runs that his coach plans. It amazes me, truly.

Over past months, he has become very high on my son Derek’s “Most Favourite” list, and along those lines, took the time to send him a special Amazing Hip card at Christmas.

Jeff’s consistency and determination towards his passion for running, plus his all-around-good-guy-ed-ness inspire me. I couldn’t have been more teary reading Susan’s blogcast (great job to all you RBFers for keeping us so in the know) if I would’ve been there myself.

Can’t wait to read that race report …. you?