One Step at a Time

1. Why can kids be so flexible? When do we exactly lose that?

2. The principle of “all the way” and how it applies to my running

3. My wellness plan (yep, I’ve got one)

4. Why I Should Never Ever Open a Package of Halloween candy until the Trick-or-Treaters are knocking on my door

5. How #4 Led Me to Creating #3

I confess, the people-watching is the big only draw to the gym for me. I haven’t been at the gym much lately, because we are experiencing a completely un-Alberta-like autumn so far. I would bet the bank we’ll have snow on Halloween, but I’ll be grinning big if we don’t. It’s been beautiful out.

However, my previous gym buddy, S., convinced me that we should re-visit this sacred place of our fitness pursuits of last winter.

I am a people-watcher. I don’t mean that in a negative or catty way … I’m not judgemental of the people I see. I am just enthralled. In a writing workshop I went to a couple of years ago, they had us go to an airport and observe. We had to jot down one line quips of a person’s conversation (airports are great places for deep conversations). Then we had to use that line to open our story. It was one of my favourite exercises of all time. The line I got was a girl crying to her Keanu-Reeves-look-alike boyfriend: If I marry you when I get back, I’ll be surprised. Holy mola. Thanks for the material, people.

Did upper body and elliptical (40 minutes… I’ll feel this, I know) today. There was a couple of ladies, about 50ish, on two bikes beside us, completely dissecting one of their daughter’s divorce. It was an INTENSE conversation, and loud at times. S and I couldn’t have chatted if we wanted to, so we listened. They picked apart Shannon, and why it all happened. Then, after about 20 minutes of The Analysis, in walks Shannon from the sunroom cardio area. I nearly fell over when the mom’s friend says, “Hi Shannon!” The tone of the conversation became very different when Shannon arrived.

I hope I don’t do that. I try to watch what comes out of my mouth all of the time, and to keep it consistent. Y’know, to only say what I’d say to the person’s face. I’ve been the “victim” of those types of situations, and it’s nothing but hurtful to find out, with no doubt, that someone’s been two-faced with you. Poor Shannon.

Going running tomorrow morning … I’m going to take advantage of this excellent weather and RUN my kids to school! Are they thrilled? Nooooo! You probably heard the whining from your place: Can’t we take the busssss? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?!?!? Moooooooommmmmmm!??!?!?!?! You’d think I told them that we were going to get on our knees and push peanuts with our noses the whole 1.17 kilometre to school. C’mon, boys?!!? (When I pointed that out, Troy did very sternly remind me that two children in his class have severe peanut allergies. So, Mom, try not to use peanuts in your jokes. Who spawned such an intense child?? Styrofoam bits, Troy?!? ) We finally compromised that they will ride bikes, I will run and push the Loudest Yeller of All (Cami) in the stroller. Good times.

I’ve gotta try to fit more runs in. I read it everywhere, and it’s no different for me … I need some focus here! I need a race! Do I want to do a Resolution Run on Jan 1? That sounds somewhat painful .. it could be -30 here then?!? (Celcius, Jon, Celcius… ) I’m not sure what to do. I’m thinking of committing myself to a pseudo-race. The concept is brilliant, really. I’d say to my Very Fast Runner Friend Tara: Hey! Guess what?? On December 10, I’m going to run 10k with you. I’m training for it, and you’ll hug me at the end, and we’ll have snacks, and maybe even buy a new shirt to commemorate me running the distance. My family could wait at the finish line and cheer really loud. Hmmmm … pseudo-racing. It might be the answer ….. ?!?!??!?!

So, this is me. Yep, I’m putting a face to my blog. So if you see me in the mall, or at a race, shout out.

It’s kind of a wierd picture of me, as I never smile with my mouth closed. But it was the best of the lot, so there you go.

Thanks to Jeff, Dawn, and Mark for being so willing to help! I should’ve perhaps allowed Jeff to help, as he did offer to do airbrushing for me … hmmmmm ……

Never mind.

I’m struggling to post a picture … for some reason, I can’t resize pictures here. What I originally posted was so large that it showed every pore issue I’ve had since I was a teen … yeesh. I’m sorry if any of you had to see that. Good luck with the therapy.

I ran soooooo fast and hard tonight, it was incredible. Absolutely kick-butt exhilerating.

And now, I sleep.

A lot of things on my mind, a lot of babble, so if you’re not into that tonight, I will not take it personally if you move on.

Silly niggly stressors that are poking at me these days:

–Since I started teaching my evening course this session, my time for running is not working out well. On nights I don’t teach, my hubby plays hockey. Morning runs aren’t working well for me, as he leaves by 5:30 or 6 a.m. (Okay, I’m a baby.) I tried running with Camryn in the stroller; she freaks: Slow down, Mommy! This is NUTS! (At least someone thinks I’m really, really fast.) So, I’ve got to figure this out. Suck it up and get up at 5 or something.

–Lots of niggly things about my job that I can’t post about. Let’s just hypothetically say: how do you teach someone attitude, or passion for a field? You don’t, except by example. That’s wearing on me some days, I tell ya. No more.

–I love my husband a whole lot, but I can’t stand coming home from my night class at 10 or 10:30 p.m. and having to make lunches, sign agendas and Social quizzes, gather library books, sign permission slips, etc.. I’m exhausted. We’ve chatted on this. I’m not seeing a change. Sometimes, when you’re the one who knows better what’s going on, you end up doing everything. Y’think? Sigh.

Bigger Plans:–

I wrote a sitcom pilot with my friend, who is a comic. He’s the funniest guy in the world, and he has an amazing brain. Right now, I feel as if we are two fishies trying to grab at bait in some wierd mall aquarium where we haven’t figured out yet if that’s a plastic worm on the end of the line. We’ve been asked to outline 10 episodes, which is a huge breakthrough, but now we’re getting some runaround. This couldn’t have come at a busier time in each of our lives, so it’s turned into some stress. When you write fiction, you get to know your characters. You imagine them as real, and you think constantly about how they would deal with this or that. You actually get close to them, and it’s difficult to put them up to a test. We’re both feeling a bit overprotective of one of the concepts of the show, and I think that people interested are thinking it’s a disposable one. Art vs. business idea. We’ll see who wins…. yikes.

I need to start forming a serious plan on losing weight. Not a thinking about it plan, but a true plan. I went online and bought a ww membership, but haven’t yet gone to the class. I have a huge love/hate relationship with w8 watchers. I like the healthy eating concept, but the clapping and the generalities of it drive me nuts. I lead adult groups, you’d think I’d thrive on this stuff. I have been to ww one kazillion and twenty four million times in my life. All of their executive’s children have gone to college by the money I’ve given them, I swear. My mom took me when I was a pre-teen and I was — get this — 8 lbs. overweight. That just kills me. Why didn’t she tell me to go outside and run around?? Anyways, I’ve gone a lot throughout the last 23 years, and I’ve had some great successes. Sometimes I’ve gone where I’ve only had 10 lbs to use, sometimes when I’ve had 80 lbs. to lose. But I’ve never actually reached the goal they’ve set for me, and that’s a been a big monkey on my back, I think. Now I’m 36, and I want to lay the “overweight” thing aside. Put it away for good. I think I”ll always have issues with food, in terms of emotional overeating, and that’s something I’ll always have to be conscious of. I’m OK with that. I just need to make a concentrated effort to this year to kick off the weight, and pursue onward with my running. Whether thats ww or not, I haven’t felt strongly about that decision yet. I’ve given myself a week, before I’ll try and get my money back online.

About running (because it is, y’know, a running blog), I have some plans. Another couple of 5ks in the early spring, and then a 10k next summer. I am going to share with you something kind of intimate (ie. that’s a true warning — no one make fun of this, please. ) I had a prayer the other night, asking God for some direction in my life. I have so many passions in life, and I wanted God’s input in what I should be focusing on. I am blessed in that a lot of things give me joy, but I want to do well at what I do, so I know I need to focus. I prayed that, and went to sleep. I had the most awe-inspiring dream. I was running, in a race, with a HUGE crowd of people. It was a hard race, and I was approaching the finish line. I pushed it, and it was glorious … this feeling of accomplishment. At the end, someone handed me a water bottle, and I looked down at my hand, and it was that of a wrinkled old woman. I was old in this race! There were no mirrors, of course, but my hand looked like it was 80ish and its owner had not heard of sun protection, if you know what I mean. If that wasn’t the best part of the dream, this was. I stood at the finish line, with tears streaming down my face, watching my adult daughter ( I could not see her face clearly) cross the finish line. And I just had this whole feeling of awe and pride and accomplishment as I hugged Camryn tightly.

I am typically a vivid dreamer, so this dream itself is not unusual for me. What astounds me about it was how clearly I received an answer from God in a way that I could understand it. It was like getting an email from him:

To: Bev
From: God
Subject: Future

Keep running, girl. It will serve you well and into your years. Focus on your children, my child. You’ve got three little people to impact. Keep at it.

Now, do you think God would help me decide about ww?????

Days are flying by. I’ve only been running 2 or maybe 3 days per week, which isn’t impressing me much. Kids and school and the sitcom deal-which-isn’t-quite-a-deal-yet and starting my new session at the college and church and life are just interfering.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on where I want to be next year. As a runner, on the weight loss front, and in other roles of my life. It’s big stuff, really, this reflecting.

… Sorry this has taken so long; I’m much more efficient in marking quizzes and assignments for my job!

1. True: At least two RBFers have posted pictures to the Fourth Annual Blogger Boobiethon. (Marie has, and um, well, I know another blogger who has. Mia said she had last year, but not this year.)

2. False: Jeff can do ANYTHING, because he’s a superhero, but he has confessed to me that indeed he cannot bowl.

3. True. The first person to host the Rundown was Derek Rose. Don’t you hate questions that seem to easy? They nag at me on exams all of the time.

4. False: The just-had-a-baby-Mia is shrinking quickly, but with ww, not J8nny.

5. False. Check out the pictures to see Heather’s pups.

6. True. Bloggers all across the RBF teared up at Brent?s marathon report … who wouldn’t?

7. True. Everyone agrees, Brent is really cute. Say it all together now, c’mon … make him blush ….

8. False. Susan and Bill are old childhood friends. They’re new friends. Susan and David are old friends.

9. True. Lara ran her very first 5k in almost the exact same time as me. It should be noted that now she is waaaaaaaaaaay faster than me.

10. True. But he says it’s false, because of the ABC Warehouse guy … but did he really post on your blog? Hmmm? Because that’s creepy.

11. False to date, but I will give him the address and get back to you!

12. False about Jack, David, and Warren. But doesn’t it make a great made-for-TV movie?

13. False to date aboutChris Brogan having a publishing deal lined up, but I bet it’s not false for long.

14. False: Mark?s running hero is Steve Prefontaine, who said, ?A runner must run with dreams in his heart.? Check his blog header for the real owner of that quote.

15. True of course, that Dawn likes to wear pink and dance up rolling hills on her trail runs. Any sentence with Dawn and pink in it would be true.

Beware, I’m in a strange, strange mood. I’ve been tweaking exams, as my new class starts tonight. My friends say that my eyes dance when I’m creating new exams and assignments for my students. It’s not about torture really, it’s about really, really, REALLY wanting to prepare these people for the workforce. Really.

So, in the spirit of this wonky mood, I’ve created my first

RBF Weekly Trivia Test

Here’s your exam. Post your answers in the comments section. Maybe the first person will all of the correct answers will get a prize. Maybe I’ll sing. Maybe, as a prize, I won’t. Truly, I’m really making it up as I go along. Play along! Let’s just have fun with it! Next week, I’ll toughen up and include some new (to me) blogs….

Ready? Got your HB?

Here’s your exam, and this week, to ease you in, it’s all ….

True or False?

1. At least two RBFers have posted pictures to the Fourth Annual Blogger Boobiethon.

2. Jeff is not only an amazing runner, but man, can he bowl. Holy Dinah.

3. The first person to host the Rundown was Derek Rose.

4. The just-had-a-baby-Mia is shrinking quickly withJenny Cr8aig and a whole lotta exercise… losing 10.6 lbs so far. (Yay, Mia!)

5. Heather is up-to-her-ears busy with Rottweiler pups, so she hasn’t had time to run with Linda lately.

6. Bloggers all across the RBF teared up at Brent’s marathon report.

7. Brent is really cute and should have no problem finding hot girls. (Was that my outside voice?)

8. Susan and Bill are old childhood friends.

9.Lara ran her very first 5k in almost the exact same time as me. (And that gives me great hope!)

10. Jon personally responds to every single person that posts on his blog.

11. And then if your name starts with B., and you live in Canada, and you’re all stressed about your kids, he FedEx’s you truffles. All the time. Because he’s like that.

12. Jack, David, and Warren discovered through the RBF that they attended the same college and are now planning to get-together: “Reunion Race 2006″. (Can’t wait for that post!)

13. Chris Brogan has a publishing deal lined up for his first book, entitled, “Dig In and Push.” (Yay, Chris!)

14. Mark’s running hero is Steve Prefontaine, who said, “A runner must run with dreams in his heart.”

15. Dawn likes to wear pink and dance up rolling hills on her trail runs.

Warning: If you’re looking for a running blog today, this blog has been temporarily abducted by a Neurotic Mom blog. Yes, I have been running, it’s keeping me on the cliff of sanity, but that’s all I have to say about that. You’ve been warned. Lots of great running blogs still there on your right, though … if that’s what you need today.

Firstly, I’ve had a lot going on this week … who would have thought 36 was so busy!? Thanks for all of the b-day wishes, everyone. What a nice family the RBF is.

Lots of craziness around here this week, mostly of the kid kind. Derek is having some trouble focusing at school, to say it simply. We’ve moved him from a very structured, traditional, private school that he was in for Pre-school and Kindergarten (as I type that, I’m wondering why I ever chose it in the first place, frankly) to a much different environment. His Grade One class at his new school is very active, dynamic, and feels like a party every day. His teacher is amazing. Dora and Mr. Dressup and Miss Frizzle and Lois (the one who hangs with Sharon and Bram) rolled into one person. Mrs. A. lives with her guitar strapped on, sings constantly, and basically puts up a “to do” list for the kids to work their way through. The problem is, Derek’s really not ever had to manage his own time and make a whole lot of activity choices at school. So … he chooses to stand with his mouth open a lot of the time. Oh, I’m not exaggerating. Mouth gaping, staring blankly, blinking at intervals. I’ve been in the classroom helping some, and watching him was kind of heart-breaking.

Me: Buddy, what are you supposed to be doing now?
Derek: (whispers happily) I have no idea, Mom.

The teacher is concerned about him, but I honestly think that the kid is in shock. He has a great attention span at home to Lego (3 hours on one project) or drawing (made super-spy notebooks for the whole family today, complete with maps to our missions for the week.) So I can’t figure out why he can’t sit down with some markers and do the “Letter N” page in a reasonable time. Shell-shocked, I tell you. We’ll see how it goes, and I do plan to frequent his class, so I’m hoping things go better.

For me, watching my kids struggle is tough on me. I could’ve saved years of counselling and just outright admitted years ago that my parents didn’t have me struggling a lot. Some might say spoiled, but not so. I was a good, polite, bright kid who basically got her way because I never caused a wave. My struggles came later, in learning to admit to people that I’d done wrong or made mistakes. (Yucky, yucky struggles, those are.)

I remember my internal dialogue the first time I watched Troy as an infant try to roll over. Back to front, you know the drill. How hard they work at it when they’re weeks old, with the legs pumping and the face mashed into the blanket. I remember actually thinking, This is completely insane, me watching him have to try so hard. I’m his mom, I’m with him all of the time, I could just help him along some. But then something clicked in my foggy post-partum brain, and I thought: No. No, I won’t roll him over and hold his bouncing chin up so it doesn’t bump and coo “Wow! Good boy!” at him. He has to do this for himself. This rolling over thing, it’s his work right now, and he has to do it on his own, and then he’ll own it and be proud of it. That was a huge moment for me, and one I’ve clung on to.

So, right now, I’m watching Derek learn to roll. I hate it with every ounce of me. Watching my kids struggle is the hardest thing on me, hands down, but I do have the sense to recognize that that’s exactly why I have to do it.

Whew. Thanks for listening. Obviously I needed to get THAT out.

And lastly, I’m bubbling with a secret I’m hoping that by this time next week, I’ll have some definitive and exciting news about the pilot I’ve been co-writing. Exciting schtuff!