One Step at a Time

Thanks for all of your supportive words and emails about my frustration. I have decided not to dwell on this and get myself all ticked off and want to eat Oreo cookies by the double digits …. NO.

I decided to sign up for a Learn to Run class.

I read about this awhile ago. It’s a weekly gig that ends in a nice local 5k on September 18th. It starts this week. After reading about this, the following happened:

–A previous engagement I had for September 18th suddenly cleared on my calendar, not at my doing;

–I ran into my friend, Corrie, who is one of those kindred souls that you always leave a conversation wishing you had more time for. We watched our sons at Tae Kwon Do last week, and she said: “Oh, I just ran a 5k. I took a course.” Really!??! I did not even know she had the desire to run. She was very affirming about the course, and encouraged me to take the clinic. She’ll be running the 5k on the 18th too.

–Last night, I read Dawn’s post about her Learn To Run clinic that she leads. It sounded fun and … doable, really.

So, I called. I paid. I’m in!

How does this fit in with this bothersome ankle? I figure that I’m going to be starting at a point that I actually was a couple of months ago, and building endurance at the pace of the class. I still will pursue some supportive medical attention in the meanwhile. And I’ll try not to whine too much here about that. (Confession: I truly hope I’m OK to run in a group. I hope I can keep up. I hope my pace is OK. It’s all that I’m OK, You’re OK stuff, y’know. I get to insert insecurity here in brackets; it’s my blog.) So I’m thinking that I’ll start it out, and see if the ankle responds.

And pray a lot.

Because, I gotta say: I really want a race experience. I won’t know til I try.

Session A:
Reinforcing to Patients Why Walking Is Best
or
Whoa! Where’s the Fire? You’re Not Running, Are Ya?

Session B:

Summary of Longitudinal Studies of Why Patients Who are more than 10 lbs Overweight Should Just Never, Ever Run
or
See Dick Walk: A Case Study

Lunch

Post-Lunch WALK

Session C:

All Injuries are Connected to the Running Bone
or
Crisis Intervention: When You’re Non-Athletic Patient Admits She’s Been Running

Session D:

New Research: Nobody Moves, Nobody Gets Hurt
or

Patient Profiles: You Don’t Look Like a Runner, So Walk This Way

******

Okay, I think you get how my day went. Grrrrrr. I need to figure out what’s wrong with this ankle.

(If you’re a doctor who is PRO-running and is reading this …. (Why?!?! Don’t you have journals to read …. patients to see …. charts to view?!!? C’mon!?!?) …. my apologies. This is merely my creative vent on another frustrating appointment about my ankle.)

Where has this week gone?!?!

–The sitter thing worked out GREAT. She brought a friend, and they were SO into it. My little Camryn woke up the next morning (they had put her to bed) begging … no … crying …. for “da girls.” I think that means it went OK. And best of all, no ER visits … and … they want to come back!

–The Mine Rescue competition was awesome. My husband’s team lost by milli-fractions of point to a much larger mine’s team. Hubby also came in second for the Best Captain in Alberta award … and he lost to his mentor, a dear friend of his who spent 3 years training him. We laughed and said it was like losing karaoke to Elvis.

–The banquet after the competition was so much fun! A lovely buffet, where I vowed to start doing more with my sidedishes at home. I’m getting to be a boring cook when it comes to veggies, etc. …. so I’m on the hunt for good, flavorful recipes. I can still plain-ol’-steam for the kids. The party was lots of fun; I really enjoy some of the wives from our team. I danced barefoot, and thought of all of you barefoot runners out there! Our good friends also won a door prize … a trip to Vegas! They were teasing us, because it’s usually Kevin and I that win big. Saturday was their night!

–School wind-up is busy. Parties and teacher gifts and more parties. I wonder why I even sent Troy today: they watched 2 movies and played kickball. Oh well, that’s part of being a kid too. We are going to a new school next year, and both of boys have expressed some grief about that this week. No tears, just a fond and sad tone. We’re doing lotsa talking here.

–My ankle. Yes, I was avoiding this conversation. In my appointment, I learned that my doctor is not “pro-” running. His wife is an ex-runner, and he went on and on (as in, I’m sure I set the office off schedule by 30 minutes or more) about the benefits of walking that are all the same as running. It was kind of an emotionally painful discussion, because I have enough issues re: not believing I am athletic or a “runner” really. It’s silly and the logical side of me can kick butt in that discussion, but it’s still there. At least I did something smart in the appointment, I asked him to recommend me to someone who knows more about running. I didn’t mean to say it like that, but it came out. He recommended me to just another GP, so I’ll see if on my own I can find someone with more expertise, perhaps.

And the ankle still hurts. I am not really able to run more than 4-5 minutes without extreme pain. I’ve been walking alot to compensate, but I am truly disappointed because I want to be moving forward with running, not pausing right now. It also is preventing me from more than warming up with Tara, which is also disappointing.

Thursday, we leave for Sylvan Lake … I can’t wait! Beach and waterslides and camping and just hanging out as a family.

Going to catch up on blogs ….

My ankle persists in driving me nuts. This sore spot appears after I run or walk for anymore than 25 minutes. Yesterday, I powercleaned the house for a couple of hours, and it did the same. Strange and annoying.

So … I made a doctor’s appointment. That’s certainly not my favorite thing to do, but I feel like I have to get this thing checked out. I feel like I’m not progressing like I want to be, because I’m babying this thing.

We have a really busy weekend planned, with my husband’s provincial mine rescue competition right here in our area this year. He is the team captain, and this time of year is quite stressful for him. He walks around with this huge sense of purpose on his face … it’s making me quite uneasy, actually. Tonight we have a team BBQ, and my kids are staying with a sitter. We’re usually spoiled with family taking care of our kids, or swapping kids with other friends, etc. … so I’m really interested to see how the kids do. Derek is very accident-prone, so I’m hoping that none of his antics scar her from babysitting again. Let’s be real, I’m truly just praying that no one ends up in ER.

In my family, like in many others, we use the “pulling a _______” phrase a lot. Like if someone is “pulling an Uncle Roy”, it means they’re being kind of scatterbrained. (Hey, this guy has actually videoed the wrong wedding; he completely earned that!)

I thought of the “pulling a” phrase in terms of the RBF world today, when I pulled a … Mia!!!! Yep, today, while teaching my son’s “kid’s church” group, I completely pulled a Mia.

Are you formulating your guess?

Yep, you’ve probably got it figured out.

I was wearing a slightly, yet not really overly-so, scoop-neck top. When I leaned down to demonstrate these cards to a group of 7-8 year old boys … one boy says in a totally-appropriate-for-stage voice: “HEY! MY MOM HAS A FANCY BRA LIKE THAT!!!!!”

I don’t think my face turned to it’s regular shade until about 2 hours later.

I giggled a lot of Mia’s account of her story, and now I have lived it. Now, of course, “pulling a Mia” could also mean lots of other things like re-organizing your home at superhero pace; or demonstrating amazing persistence and self-awareness, etc., etc. ….. (Disclaimer: I am NOT minimizing all of the many wonderful things about Mia by saying she’s about flashing boobs. Thank-you.)

So …. what does “pulling a (insert your name or another RBFer here)” mean?

Thanks for all of your encouragement and shared “grrr’s” about our friends getting caught up in the scheme. Call me a nut, but I have a hard time watching people I love make zany and potentially dangerous decisions. Sigh.

This is nagging at me. I didn’t want to come here and whine about my ankle, but now I must.

Did a really fantastic 8 k run and walk today. However, this is about the fifth consecutive time that I’ve ran/walked, and come home to only my right ankle slightly swelling and tingling. On the outside of my ankle, right above the bone, a puffy lump appears and is only mildly achy … from the lump right up the side of my calf. And this is only evident on the right side. The next day it is gone, until after I work out.

I haven’t really named my Forerunner yet, but I’m thinking I should name this puffy lump. It’s certainly hanging around enough.

Oh, and I have a hypothetical question for all of you, especially any male readers, as I need a male perspective on something for the sitcom pilot we’re working on. Give me 2 specific reasons that a guy who is straight and is best friends with a very hot girl would NOT want to sleep with her? My co-writer and I are arguing a lot over this aspect of our character, and I said I’d turn it over to the masses. Any convincing reasons?

Man, what a day. Our friends have gotten into a wonky “business” opportunity that is totally infecting our friendship and circle of good friends like a bad, bad virus. Lots of internet research today, and lots of affirming discussion with hubby later. Why do smart people get caught up in stupid things??

Good news: got in 4.5 k with Tara today. A couple of years ago, I’d have dealt with this stress by eating a large bag of dill pickle chips. This is good progress, I figure.

The numbers are in:

Kms ran: 8.26

Walk breaks in two runs: 0!!!!

Kms walked: 6.14

Kms swam: 2

Glasses of water drank: 28 (glug) million-ish

Diet Cokes drank: 3

Glasses of white wine drank: 4

Playgrounds visited: 3

Times “Pajama Time” by Sandra Boynton read out loud: 19

Bandaids applied to children: 6

Number of children who received bandaids: 1

Pages of curriculum written: 0

Pages of sitcom pilot revised: 14

Dollars spent for family of five at highly over-priced local fair midway: 60

Parents who thought that “every kid should experience a midway”: 2

Number of whiney, sugar-overdosed children hauled home: 3

Parents who agree “we’ll never do that again…”: 2

…..and how was your weekend??

I wrote this in my journal after my run last night, and it’s my big reminder to keep on. Thought I’d share it:

When I Run

I am a better me when I run.

I have a stronger, leaner body. A body that feels prepared, ready, agile.

I have a clearer mind when I run. I have time to sort through all of the chaos in my day, and to make sense of it. I come from the run more precise, more confident, more articulate.

My emotions make more sense when I run. Tears I have cried before don’t seem as stinging when I run. Any disappointment, guilt, grief, or anger are left inside as I head out to run. Laughter seems more boisterous after a run. I smile after a run, because I have moved forward.

I feel my soul when I run. I feel close to God, as I am mindful of each breath I take, and I remember where it comes from. When I push myself running, when I am struggling and really want to not just slow down for a walk, but collapse on the path beside me … then I imagine my God with His arms hooked under mine,like one would help a child learning to walk. That’s a good feeling.

When I run, it is my time to be just me. I’m no one’s mom, no one’s wife, no one’s friend to unload on, no one’s employee or instructor to discuss an issue with … I’m just me. Me and my legs and my breath and my distance. Me and my victory, really.