One Step at a Time

This actually isn’t a joke. I have been so focused on fitness and weight loss over the past year, that I don’t think I’ve realized until now the importance of rest days. Get comfy, and maybe get yourself a refreshment, because I’ve got some rambling to do here.

My time is a really, really precious thing to me. Juggling kids, hubby, work, and other commitments an d hobbies … I think I’ve been putting fitness at a funny place in my life. As I’ve said before, I’ve never had a predictable routine, being married to a shift worker. In turn, I’ve always been so … excited almost … to have an hour, that I think, I’d better go for a run … or I’d better go to the gym … Looking back at the past six months, I have very few days of rest. I guess I’ve proven to myself that the hour or so to workout is not such a hot commodity … I CAN make this happen … hey, I’ve been making it happen A LOT!

So how did I reach this big epiphany? This swimming is kicking my butt. I had put all of my recent exhaustion and insomnia (strange, strange cycle) to the swimming, and my work project, blah blah blah.

Then tonight, I couldn’t complete the distance swim. We had done drill after drill, and I’m working a lot on not favouring my legs so much, but using my upper body more. Yikes, that’s hard! After all this: ” TADA! Here’s the distance swim!” I’m thinking: Distance swim? Please say that’s some swim club ha-ha lingo for hot tub … please??!? To make a long story short not quite so long, I did 750 m and then pulled myself out. Very angrily, actually. I don’t get angry a lot, so this was a tough moment. I was mad at myself, because I know very well that I can swim 2k. And I want that to be a constant. I don’t want to be stopping, but I literally feel like I’m swimming as if I’d never completed a length in my life. I can’t get the breathing down, and it’s just getting worse, and I have to pull out. All of the yucky inner jerk talk kicked in, and I’m looking at all of these super-fit, toned, cut swimmers carrying on in perfect rhythm, and I’m thinking, I’m in the wrong group. This is apparently not for me. Lucky the coach came over and sat down beside me or I think that the yucky inner jerk talk would’ve gotten yuckier.

He asked me what I was doing. Not in a mean way, but he meant in a general way. Asked me what I was doing besides swimming. Running, I say. I seriously felt like I was about 8 years old at this moment. I am choking back tears because I’m mad at myself, and my mind wants to press on, but my body says, no. No, no, no. And I’m even madder that I can’t just laugh this off and call it a night … I’m seriously mad. So strange. Eventually, he makes the point that I’m not resting my body enough. Funny, a few years ago, I couldn’t stop resting my body. Now, in an effort to achieve fitness and conquer a weight problem … I need to rest. Wow.

I think my body is giving me other signals, with the insomnia, and a cold that I keep just at bay with Cold FX. I am one of those people that if I slow down, I get sick. I have been sick in more lovely vacation spots that I can name. Sigh.

Anyways, this was a big deal to me, learning this. I have to take a good look at my plan, and make room for some rest. Maybe those will come in Vancouver (just two more sleeps!) … but I do have to run that seawall!

Goodnight!