back again

Sunday I ran in the Celebrate Life Half Marathon in Rock Hill, NY.  As with previous times, this was a fabulous race.  Very hilly compared to others I have been in, but each year the hills seem smaller.  Except for the giant hill at the start.  Heading up that one I took my time and saved something for the end.  My time was halfway in between my best and worst, so I was pretty happy with it.  My former running partner was volunteering and it was a nice relief to see her smiling face at the halfway point.

As my reward for a good race, my back blew out on Wednesday morning.  Yea.  I’ve been in the house ever since.  Today is the first day I can actually stand up straight.  I can sit for very long and can’t stand for very long.  And quite frankly, I’m really sick of lying down.  I’ve managed to stretch out almost flat on the reclining sofa, so that I can type and lie down at the same time.

Last week I stopped at a used bookstore that I had seen many times but was never there when they were open (Fri, Sat. Sun).  So I went for a short visit during lunch.  The place looks like it was an old barn or small house.  The insides are are stuffed from floor to ceiling with old books, loosely organized by topic.  Children’s.  History.  Fiction.  Etc.  The foyer is packed full of unsorted books.  Just the smell of the place is welcoming, if you like the smell of old books.  The place was heated by a pot belly stove in the middle of the main room.  The basement was filled with paperbacks and the upstairs seemed to house mostly non-fiction with topics like Geography and Government.  I would estimate there were at least 20,000 books in that building.  If I spent all day there, I could not read every title.

I pulled a few books to take home:

Run Fast – Hal Higdon – I always wanted that one but never got around to buying it.

The Complete Book of Running – Jim Fixx – Another one to have in the running library.

Twelfth Night – W. Shakespeare – This was a small hardcover version published by Yale University Press in 1954.

DreamThorp – Alexander Smith – This was published in 1864.  I like the hard leather cover and the gold inlaid design in the front.

All that fun for only $14.  Seemed like a good deal.  There were a lot of other books I wanted, but some were too expensive.  An old torn up bible from 1800 but it was $100.  Too rich for my blood.

My writing has ground to an abrupt halt.  I’ve painted myself into a corner.  I’ve been trying to just get words down on paper (figuratively), but the plot has changed so much that the beginning doesn’t match, and motivations of the characters seems very odd now.  In fact, the entire premise seems horrendously illogical.  I was being guided by what I felt each character would do next.  But when I go back to the beginning, their early behavior doesn’t fit.  I guess that means that I didn’t know my characters well enough at the beginning.

Margaret Atwood gives this advice:

“Don’t sit down in the middle of the woods. If you’re lost in the plot or blocked, retrace your steps to where you went wrong. Then take the other road. And/or change the person. Change the tense. Change the opening page.”

Good advice.  Its so very hard.  I hate to go back and cut out things I liked.  I had heard it was Faulkner who said to “kill your darlings”.  He is referring to cutting things from your writing that you find so appealing that you can’t be objective.  Maybe its a scene or some dialogue that you can’t give up because you like it so much.  I guess I just need to be cautious that I don’t keep something in that doesn’t fit.

Which brings me back to the problem.  The current place in the storyline no longer fits with the beginning.  Its hard to describe without telling the story (which I’m not ready to do yet), so let’s use a Star Wars analogy.

In Star Wars, Luke is looking to 1) rescue Princess Leah and 2) avenge his father’s death.  But what if his original goal was to marry Leah.  Once he rescued her, then he would simply be trying for the rest of the movie to get her to leave with him and run away to the Chapel O’ Galactic Bliss, which 1) doesn’t make for a good movie and 2) makes the whole Death Star assault seem like a pointless diversion from the main topic.  Fortunately George Lucas was smart enough to change the plot and delete the wedding scene.

This is basically where I am.  No, there’s no wedding.  But I have taken the characters someplace away from their original goal, and now their actions conflict entirely with what they wanted.  I know this happens in life, but I don’t want it to happen here, simply because by the time they reach the end of the book, the closing scene will not make any sense at all.

Lots of rambling.

So, I need to retrace to where I started and decide if I started wrong or if I took a wrong turn.  Nothing really gets cut, just saved elsewhere.

back to the ortho?

Left foot:

 

Right foot:

See that lump about two inches to the right of my left ankle bone?  That isn’t there on my right foot.  It only sticks out when I turn my foot like that, but I think its not supposed to do that.  The skin over that spot if kinda dry, like its been that way a while now (light callous from abrasion), so I don’t think it happened from this fracture.  But I think it may the cause of some of the issues.

My foot still is sore to walk in bare feet.  And it still hurts to rotate my ankle.  I snowshoed up Mt. Marcy last weekend and felt no pain at all.  I think it has to do with the way the snowshoes rotate.  It probably kept my foot from twisting at all.  I did pinch a nerve in my left foot though (falling apart all over), so its still kinda numb.  Annoying but livable.

Maybe I need to go back to the ortho and suggest we take a more aggressive approach.

Sigh.  Getting fatter by the day.  :(

familiar territory

Heading to the ortho tomorrow.  I will push for an MRI.  Usually they want to get their fee for the X-ray first, but X-rays don’t show stress fractures.  I don’t want to wait two weeks, only to come back again.

It all feels too familiar.  Except this time, I am going to the ortho the day after it happened, not weeks later.  Hoping for the best.

word problem

At 1:00 pm, you start a 15 mile run.  The weather is sunny and 42 °F.  At mile 9 you begin to feel soreness in the arch of your left foot.  The pain is remarkably similar to the precise pain you had when you had a cuboid stress fracture a year and half ago.  By mile 11 it is too painful to run and you begin to walk, which is still considerably painful and makes you limp.  You walk/limp the remaining 4 miles back home at a pace of approximately 17.5 min/mile because there are no shortcuts at this point and you do not have a cellular phone to call your spouse for a ride.

Upon arriving at home do you:

A) fall to the floor in the hallway and cry hysterically

B) throw your shoes down the hallway and into the bathroom where one lands in the toilet

C) eat half a pan of lasagna

D) all of the above

12 more

I ran 12 miles yesterday afternoon.  I kept putting it off all day.  My legs felt tired all day and I debated riding the bike instead.

My right leg has a funny pain in the joint below my knee.  I only feel it when I twist funny or move my foot in a certain way.  If I stand with my feet about 6 inches apart, and then move my right foot out to the side about a foot and drag the ball of my foot along the floor (like I’m trying to brush sand into a little pile next to me), I feel the pain in the bone/joint below my knee.  Inside, not at the surface or near the kneecap.  I’m thinking something got tweaked on a run.  Hopefully its nothing more.  Since I had the stress fracture, I’m very nervous about anything that feels like “bone pain”.

Saturday I rode my recumbent bike instead of running the 5 miles.  My leg seemed to respond well, in that there was less pain and much less frequently.

So I ran on Sunday in Saratoga.  Horrendously cold.  My belly was frozen.  I had to guess the number of loops to make up 12 miles and ended up about a half mile from the car at the end.  It was a good length to cool down, but I was damn cold by the time I got back.

The run went well.  I like the long steady hills going into and coming out of the town.  I averaged about a 9:30 pace, which is where I want to be for the long runs.

I’m kind of sore today, so I will try some light stretching.  Tomorrow will be the big day to feel the pain from the long run.  I will use the recumbent bike again tonight, instead of my usual switch-off of Tuesday’s 3-miler.  No scouts this week, so I can run on Tuesday instead.  I think the cross-training is better right after the long run.

still sore

I ran 6 miles on Thursday night and rested yesterday.  Today my legs are KILLING me.  It feels like I just ran 15 miles last night and my legs are crushed.  Nothing is healing, there’s no recovery at all.  I don’t get it.  Last fall I felt nothing after the long runs.  Felt awesome.  Now it sucks.

I’m narrowing down the possible causes:

1. New shoes – the should I bought last fall are much stiffer than the Adizero’s.  I think they are quite flat and light, but the sole definitely does not like to bend.  Maybe it is affecting my stride?

2. More new shoes – last fall I also bought a new pair of work shoes.  My old shoes were flat.  Not like boat-shoes, but definitely did not have a heel.  These do.  I noticed when I walked in them the first time, it felt funny.  Like I was hitting the heel very hard.  I used to own a pair of cowboy boots, and when I walked in those, the heel would hit first and made my knee kind of lock as I walked.  It gave me a funny gait.

Anyway, the point about the work shoes is that I spend A LOT of time walking at work (when I’m not off-site), and I wonder if having the heel on the shoes is counteracting the effects that the running flats are having on my Achilles tendon.  The flats lengthen it, but the work shoes let them heel while in a shortened position.  That might explain the calf pain and lower leg pain.

3. Fat – oh yes.  My good old friend, fat.  I gain 15 pounds since the marathon (which is what I do often), and I know that affects the force on my legs when I run.  Although, I was this heavy last spring and I don’t recall having these issues.  But still, its a factor.

4. Lack of sleep -I’m stretching here, but less sleep lately because of work stress may contribute to lack of recovery.

So those are the causes I can think of.  I need to come up with some actions here to fix the problem.  I’m trying to work on the fat problem.  I’m off the candy (finally!), but still a little stuck on carbs (crackers!) at night.  I think I will wear my dress shoes at work for a while (their both black) and see if that helps.  The dress shoes have a lower heel.

I can’t do much about the running shoes at the moment.    Its hard to find flat shoes these days.  Lots of people tell me the flat shoes they wear, but when I try to find them in my size, they are discontinued.

why do my legs hurt?

I had a big off-site business meeting all week.  It was close enough that I had to drive, and it was an hour and a half away.  The meetings dragged on so long, and started so early, that I basically got home, ate dinner, went to bed, got up early, drove to meeting, repeat, repeat, repeat.   No running since my long run on Sunday.

But this week and today, my legs have been really sore, like I’ve been running them hard all week.  I have a run tonight.  Hopefully I do ok.   I’m worried about the level of soreness.  Its like I’m not recovering.  It shouldn’t be like this with the mileage so low.  Something is wrong.  :(

not motivated

I have 9 miles to run this morning.  My legs are so sore and tired.  I am not motivated.  I don’t remember marathon training being this difficult so early.

A very confused 20 miles

I had my 20 miler this morning, under cloudy skies and amid cool temps.   The humidity was a little high and it was supposed to sprinkle a little bit, but I didn’t get any on my run.

My objective to be on the road by 8 am and to simulate race morning as best as possible.  I ate my carbs last night, and tried to blend in more carbs the day before as well.  I wanted to get up at 5 am for breakfast, but got to bed too late, so I settled for 6 am.

I had my usual All-Bran, and then a bagel, and a can of V-8.  In retrospect, I would change two things.  First, drink the V-8 at 6 am and not 7 am when I finish breakfast.  It needs the full two hours to get out of my stomach before I run.  Second, I would not eat an “everything” bagel, because “everything” includes onion and garlic and it made my mouth taste horrible, even after a sturdy tooth brushing.

I rearranged my route so that I cut out the major roadway that was so horrible to run along.  Now the route has all back roads and a couple more smaller hills, which is just fine with me.  My pace target was still about 8:50, same as last time.

mile 1: 8:51
mile 2: 8:50
mile 3: 8:46
mile 4: 8:52
mile 5: 8:33
mile 6: 8:51

I was doing pretty well until about mile 7.  Just after the 7 mile mark, I made a sharp left turn.  When I looked at my Forerunner to check the lap pace, it said 10:15/mile.  I was sure I was not going that slow, since I’d been doing sub 9:00 most of the way.  I kept watching it and it crept up farther and father, and eventually hit 11:15/mile.  I checked the instantaneous pace and I was sub 8:00/mile!  I was running faster to make up for the messed up time.  Which was stupid.

mile 7: 8:55
mile 8: 9:07

Eventually, the lap ended and Forerunner agreed I was going at a normal pace.  Then shortly after that, I came to an intersection that I hadn’t remembered from the map.  The road sign was pushed over into a tree and I had to stop 1) to get out my directions, and 2) duck my head into the tree leaves to see which road I had come to.  Unfortunately, the road name was totally different from where I thought I was and I lost about a minute of staring down each direction (to where they bent in the undergrowth?), trying to decide.

mile 9: 8:59
mile 10: 9:19

Eventually, I decided to head south knowing that ultimately that was the way home, and I could make up lost distance in the neighborhood if I messed up the route.

Within 1/4 mile I hit another quandary.  I came to a dirt road that was close to where I needed to turn but I had not seen a dirt road in the aerial views of the map, and also there was no road sign here, and also there was a POSTED sign on big trees at each side of the dirt road.  So, I went down it anyway.

Heaven.  Did I mention I miss running on real dirt roads?  I’m not talking about the lame park road I run on, but real dirt roads where people live and the city doesn’t dump asphalt.  Just like my road back in Michigan.  It was absolute bliss running on that road, if only for about a mile and a half.

mile 11: 8:37
mile 12: 8:47

With all the stopping and starting, my legs were getting tired.  If I am just moving without stopping, I am fine, but if I stop one time, then everything starts to seize up.  That’s what was happening at this point.  I really had to push to keep the pace up.

More hills and eventually I hit the next small town.  Just before it, I came across four high school-aged girls, walking four-across in the road, coming towards me and taking up an entire lane of the road.  I was understanding of their annoying behavior and veered out into the right lane to pass them, so as not to appear confrontational and be arrested by the local sheriff for harassing his brother’s cousin’s hairdresser’s daughter.

mile 13: 8:41
mile 14: 8:26
mile 15: 8:47

The end was harder still to run.  I passed a family pushing two strollers up a hill while walking a dog and following a young boy on a bike.  A truck passed them and honked loudly.  Not sure what that was about.  Maybe they knew them, but nobody waved.

mile 16: 8:52
mile 17: 8:53

I tried to pick up the pace for the last three miles to about race pace (8:00) but my legs really weren’t cooperating at this point.  I had gotten a strange sharp pain in my right hip, almost right at the surface.  Like a joint that got locked and needed to pop.  It kind of came and went periodically.  On into the neighborhood and home.

mile 18: 8:18
mile 19: 8:22
mile 20: 8:19

Total time was 2:55:12, 8:46/mile. I’m sure the 9:00+ miles didn’t help that pace any, but I’m still happy with the time anyway. My calves developed that horrendously sharp spikey crampy pain again, once I had stopped running. It took a little longer to develop than last time, but it was just as fierce as before. I know now that if I ever have to stop running in the race for any reasonable length of time, I am going to be paying for it dearly.

So the last big long run is done, and now I get three weeks of taper before the race. Lower mileage, less pain, longer naps. I’m still doing ok with food, although I had a bit of a crash the other night. Too many stressful things at once and someone from work tempted me with a miny chocolate cupcake that her daughter made. That set loose the sugar-craving lunatic in me and caused me to eat far more chocolate than I should have. And crackers. And bread. And anything I could find. I’m better now.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

rest

Today I have to get my hair cut, make chocolate, and pick out which shirt I’m wearing on race day.  I jinxed my lucky race shirt last year by getting a DNF, so I need a different one.

Lovely weather today.  Wish I was running.  I’m taking it easy today.  I have some soreness on leg in a place that is familiar to me.  I won’t say the word.  Sometimes it gets sore when I do too much speedwork, but this time it was simply long distance at faster paces than I am used to.

Nothing horrendously painful, but I know how this goes.  It starts with an achey muscle.  Then its sore at the start of a run.  Then its sore when I’m not running.  Then my leg explodes.  I won’t let it progress.  I’m fighting this shite and there’s no way in hell this is going to derail my plans.  No.way.

For those of you who are racing this weekend, good luck!  For those who are running, have fun!  For those who aren’t running, what’s your problem?  And for those running New Haven, see you Monday!