More running

I’ve had a good week running. Not to fast but I’ve been out there every day. I took Saturday off and did a longer run today (only 5 miles). I’m a little tired from it.

The extra weight is slowly coming off again. I’m down six pounds as of today, although it was a two pound drop from yesterday, so I’m suspicious. Sometimes if I don’t drink enough water I get a big drop the next day.

Still using My Fitness Pal, which does a nice job of tracking calories. When I have a long run day, I get a giant lump to consume. Back when I was doing 10-15 mile long runs, I had to split the calories up over three days because there was no was I could eat all that in one day. It helped me get through the next day when I was taking a rest day. It all averaged out I guess.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about work and life and how the two seem to conflict. I’ve become very stressed about work and it has interfered with my sleep and general happiness at home. There is one individual who has caused me a lot of grief and I find that I end up thinking about things they have said and done, over and over.

I remember this scenario well, from when I was bullied in high school.

I became obsessed with thinking of the things I would do and say differently, but when I got into the real situation I just hid. The problem is that the bully never has much to lose, and they know that if you take a stand you have a lot to lose. So they exploit that. As it continued, I started to fantasize about coming across them in a horrible accident, and then walking away, leaving them to suffer and die.

One time, one of the bullies stabbed me in the side with a drawing compass. Then he wanted me to show him the hole it made! The person at work is like that. They don’t use a compass, but the pain is just as hurtful, and then they want to talk about it.

I know it’s bad karma to wish horrible things upon other people, but I still do. The person that bullies me? I hope that disease, pain, fear, disappointment, tragedy, anguish, and death plague him, his family, and all his descendents, for all time.

Not very nice of me. But I’m tired of it. And I deserve better than to be treated like that.

I’m still alive

Sorry for not responding to comments. I used to be so good about that. Now I’m lazy and lame and this blog will be dead soon. :(

So thank you to Danielle, Lindsay, Juls, MG, Deene (where ever you are in the blog world), and Amy, for commenting.  :)

I’ve been running this week, after gaining back the 18 pounds I lost last fall. Just stupid crazy. Sitting on my butt eating A LOT of bread has not been good.

But I did manage to run 5 days. My legs felt like lead by Friday so I took yesterday off. I really want to run today, just need to get my butt out the door and do it.

I’ve had a hard time lately staying away from online RPG’s. One in particular. I haven’t been on in at least 6 months. It’s very hard to avoid. Songs and shows on Netflix remind me of it. I guess I miss the instant interaction that comes from it. I type and people respond. Maybe that’s the draw of Farcebook over blogs. Instant response.

Speaking of blogs, now that Google Reader is dead, I wonder how many people will stop reading blogs all together. I haven’t picked up a new reader yet, so all the blogs that I tracked before are just floating out there. Maybe I need to let them go too.

I’ve been working on the two novels a little bit. I have a horrendous aversion to reading, and writing sometimes goes along with that. I think about the main project all the time, running over dialog and moving characters around in scenes. But I haven’t had a lot of success actually transposing that into written form. I get this tight ache in my chest when I sit down and try to type it.

It’s funny (strange, not ha-ha). I know my two lead characters so well, I could tell you precisely how they would react in every situation, inside the project and outside. I know their histories and thoughts, even though none of it appears in the project. I just need to put the story together and let them walk through it. I know that sounds odd, but I fell like once I know what’s going to happen around them, their “natural” reactions will carry the rest of the project.

I’ve been using Scrivener (did I mention this?). It’s drafting software that helps you organize and format your projects. Tremendously useful. There is a free version but for $30 it was worth sending the money for the official version. When you find good freeware and they ask for a donation, why not send it?

So Scrivener obviously does words counts, which it kinda nice. I have about 38,000 words now, which is a only a few thousand more than a few months ago, which is lame and pathetic. The November project (which lasted a week) has about 10,000 words. Considering the November project was only 5 days, it’s even more lame that it was already at 10K words, since I’ve been working on the other one for almost 2 years now. Two years! Seriously?

What I really need is time alone. I need like two weeks of just me and nothing else. No work. No house. No people. Just time to sit and write without distractions.

But there are always things to fix. Errands to run. People to assist. Is this why the successful writers are neurotic and live alone in the woods? Maybe that’s what you have to do. Writing is hard work. I haven’t even gotten to the editing part where you decide what is trash and what can stay.

In other news, I have a race next month. Work paid the registration fee for a bunch of us because it’s a local race. Very nice. I have a bout 3 weeks now to lose 20 pounds and regain the speed I had last fall. Doable.

Not. Sigh.

Maybe lose 3 pounds and not embarrass myself in front of coworkers.

Running sucks as a form of weight loss. All this things you need to do for diet, are entirely contrary to running. Fewer carbs. Try to eat only 200 calories of pasta the night before a race. It won’t happen, or you run like poop. But if I eat the carbs, I just go overboard and crave them like crazy.

It’s not like I’m on some stupid low-carb diet. 50% of my calories come from carbs. I’m just trying to keep it from being 80%.

So back to writing and, hopefully, running today. I hope everyone had a good weekend. I will write again soon.


write write write write

I decided to do NaNoWriMo (did I spell that correctly?).  Basically, you write a 50,000 words novel in the month of November.   1700 words a day on average.  Its not so easy.  This would be first draft of course.  I’m on track so far, but I still need to write today and my wife is due home any minute.  Likely she will be annoyed by my ignoring her.

“Sorry, Honey, but I have to write my amazing mass produced novel.”

The couch is still a very comfortable place to sleep, albeit a bit lonely.

In other news, I’ve gotten slack on my diet and can feel myself getting pudgy again.  I had the slowest run I’ve had in weeks just this morning.  So, I went back to My Fitness Pal and started tracking the food again.  I cannot be trusted to self-monitor at this point.  In the morning I will do the weigh-in, no matter how painful it may be.

I am the ghost blogger

I guess my posts are getting sporadic again.  Sigh.

Let’s see, I ran a race and got 2nd in my age group.

I was pretty pleased with this.  Not so much about placing (because it was a VERY small race) but because my time was 21:34, just shy of my 5K PR (21:16).  Sadly, in this one I was not able to run faster than all the children.  Two 6th graders still beat me.  Grrrr.

In other news, I went camping in the High Peaks region of the Adirondacks.  Camped at Marcy Dam and hiked to Avalanche Lake, which is a very cool place if you ever get a chance to go.

In sad news, an old friend from high school died from cancer this past weekend.  I last spoke to her earlier in the summer when I went to see the SCA folks play with swords and armor.  She had brought me there and introduced me to people, but she was linked to me on LinkedIn and Farcebook.  I knew she had been ill and had recently had a setback, but I didn’t realize she was that ill.  I think nobody else realized either.  We said our final goodbyes to her tonight and I will miss her.  I just can’t believe she is gone forever.

8 miles

I had intended to run 10 miles today but got delayed in the house until almost noon.   As soon as I walked out the door I knew I was in trouble.  Bright sun and heat.  Well, 70F, but that’s hot compared to how it has been lately.

So I melted pretty badly on this run.  Bleh.  8 miles was all I could squeeze out.  I was happy with the 8:15 pace though.  :)

speedy morning

I had a really speedy run this morning.  7:45 pace which is the my fastest yet on a midweek morning run.  It felt pretty good too, so I’m happy with how that is going.

Of course, I totally fell off the wagon at lunch.  I had the flourless chocolate cake.  Argh.  It was like a giant brownie.  My stomach was so full and I got a headache from all the sugar.  Not a very good plan.

I’m thinking a longer run tomorrow would be a good idea.

Race day!

I ran in a 5K this AM in the city.  A friend was running and asked me to go.  To be honest, I wasn’t too thrilled about it.  The race was small so likely the snacks would be lame.  And minimum crowd cheering.  But I went.

The online registration wanted me to set up an account or something so I registered in the morning.  The race was small enough that there was no line at all and plenty of volunteers to help.  A baby blue T-shirt which is ok I think.  And the race was to raise money for the treatment of autism, so I was happy it wasn’t just another “party run”.

I had been wanting to work on eating enough before races and, although this one was a short one,  I stuffed myself the night before.  Lots of pasta and toast.  I think I also ate a lot of string cheese ( a bit of an addiction there).  During the day I actually ate a cheeseburger, bun and all.  At breakfast I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway.  I had my usual bran cereal with flax seed, but added in a yogurt with blueberries.  Later I had a chocolate Clif bar.  Strangely I was so full I forgot to eat my gel before the start.

So race time came and I didn’t have the hungry feeling that I often get.  But I wasn’t full in my stomach.  It was just right.

This morning was pretty cold for September.  I think it was in the 50’s.  So, again, more good things in my favor.

I started near the front off to the far left side to avoid having to dodge people and keep from getting run over.  I judged the point pretty well because I didn’t have to pass too many.  The course took us around the park in the city and we did a quick run backwards through the finish line, which I didn’t like to do because it made me want to stop.

The course was pretty flat except for a small hill in the middle which had a steady even rise but a steep drop at the end.  I had to dodge two people out walking.  I heard one of them tell the other “I’m just gonna keep walking, they can go around.”

There was a woman that I followed for most of the race, but passed her on the hill.  She was breathing pretty loudly and I could hear her behind me the whole way.  I kept trying to reach a guy in front of me but he kept speeding up.  He looked like he was out of a casual stroll.  In the last mile he really poured it on and I had to fight hard to keep him close.  The woman behind me was trying to pass but I didn’t want to give up.

In the last tenth of a mile we passed a woman on the side who yelled to the woman behind me “You’re the first woman!  Run!”  She poured it on and I poured it on and we all came roaring across the finish, three seconds between us all.  I beat her by one second, but she walked away with the top female award.   She was 55 years old.  :)

I ended up in 10th place (out of 145), and would have been 3rd in my age group if they had age group awards.  Small races means fewer competitors but fewer awards.  :)  Even more importantly, this was the first race where I ran faster than all the woman and children.  No small accomplishment for me.

I ran my second fastest 5K time ever (7:07 pace), and the fastest I’ve run in 3 years.  It was very hard to do, but the only thing that held me back was my level of cardiovascular fitness.  I had more than enough fuel.  If I could get every race to be like that, I think I would be running faster than I ever ran.



under 8:00

For the first time since I got myself running again, my morning run was under an 8:00 pace.  On race day, I can chug that speed out no problem (heck, I did that in New Haven for 20K), but for some reason the midweek runs have been between 8:30 and 8:15.  Until today.  Yea me.  :)

First run since I hurt my back (again)

I ran 4 miles this morning (just now actually).  My back was a little twingey  (sp?) at first but much better once I got going.  I kept the pace slow and light, being careful not to lose form.  Even at the slower pace, I felt a little sluggish.  A week off running, sitting around (not eating right), does not help.

I’m still angry with myself for not going to the gym and using the machines.  Although the first few days were not good for much of anything, I could have gone as early as Wednesday or Thursday.

I got back on the scale this morning and found I’m not up much, maybe a pound.  But knowing that I’ve lost some fitness (and muscle mass), that pound is probably much more that it looks on the scale.  For the first time, I realize that a lower number on the scale can be just as bad as a higher number.

Lots of stuff I want to do today.  Clean out the bedroom closet.  Write 1000 words in the novel.  Clear off the computer desk in the basement.  Lift some weights at the gym.  Enter my food and exercise to MFP.  Do my back exercises.

Oh yeah, my back exercises.  Did I talk about this?  When I hurt my back very badly a year or two ago, I got exercise sheets from the physical therapist.  I saved them and my wife put them in little sheet protectors with 3-ring holes.  I kept them very safe in a pile under all the junk in the living room.   When I was cleaning up yesterday, I found them again and (finally) put them in a three ring binder.

See, those exercises are supposed to build up my back muscles to help prevent me from hurting myself again.  Oddly enough, I have not been doing and (believe it or not) my back keeps getting injured.  Therefore, my (very clever) plan is to do the exercises along with my regular workout and keep my back healthy.  Damn smart I am, huh?

still better

Today was pretty good.  I’m just about walking upright, just getting tired during the day.  I had one sharp twinge from by back when I got out of bed but almost nothing all day.  I’m thinking on Saturday I will try an easy short run.  One more rest day tomorrow.