search fun

Some of the things people came here searching for recently:

chocolate balls cake – I’m thinking this is not your typical birthday
female boy shorts – so, fly or no fly?
there is a bone sticking out of my foot what is it – its your ankle
runners life longer graph – its not really longer, it just feels longer
runner eats blogs – urrp!
big breasted runner – needs a good running bra
leather armor women – no longer needs a good running bra
i ate a can of soup – I bet the can hurt your teeth

Back from frosty Ireland

I spent the past week in Ireland for business again.  Last time was in June, this time it less green and much colder.  They got hit with a cold wave and snow.  Snow in Ireland has the same effect as snow in North Carolina.  Disaster.

None of these cars have snow tires (why would they?), so the treads are made for dealing with wet roads, not icy roads.  When they get on ice, they spin in funny little left-handed circles.  The daytime temps hovered around freezing, and at night it went below freezing.  The air was so humid that it felt much colder.  I seriously froze my butt off walking in Dublin.  Ofcourse, I left my gloves and hat at home.

The strangest thing was the frost on the trees.  Someone there referred to “frost-fog”, and I guess the humidity causes fog at night, but then it “dews” on the trees and covers everything with this frost.  It looks kinda cool actually:

I got a chance to drive for a while and it was very exciting.  Being on the wrong side of the road feels very strange.  I did hit the curb in town a couple times.  That might have led to our flat tire.  Sigh. This is a pic I took while driving, but managed not to hit anyone.

While someone else was driving, we managed to piss someone off in one of the rotaries.  He was thumbing his nose and pulled up next to us to yell at us and say he almost hit us.  We apologized but it didn’t seem to be what he was looking for.  He just kept saying over and over again that we almost hit him.  There must be some culturally correct reply that he was looking for.  Apparently, “We’re very sorry about that.” was not quite right.  Here he is, speeding away in disgust:

To be honest, he was driving very fast for such icy conditions.

I brought my Garmin with the newly downloaded maps for UK/Ireland.  I programmed in our hotel destination, but there’s a funny thing in Ireland.  No road names for addresses.  At least, none I could find.  So Karen (that’s Garmin’s name currently) could give us road names that we were on, but none of the street signs showed them.  And if you want to find some place, if its not something in Karen’s list, you will never find it, because there are no street addresses.  Just crazy!

Did I already talk about fixing the Garmin issues?  Well, the data I had is long gone.  Here is my apology letter from Garmin:

Dear Jon  ****,

Thank you for contacting Garmin International.

I’m very sorry for what happened, but if those favorites are gone, there is no way of getting them back. I am really sorry, but if the software update did do that there isn’t any thing we could do to get them back.

With Best Regards,

Joshua W.

Product Support Specialist

Garmin International

Thanks for the email.   Please fix your site so that all your other customers will know that updates to Garmin software will delete all your data.

I also needed to download the European maps, so I bought them online at Garmin’s site.  Sadly, my Nuvi comes with no memory.  Just enough to hold one map set.  You have to buy a separate mini-card to put in the side of it in order to extend the memory.  So, $20 later, I had my mini-card and was able to store the newly purchases maps in the Garmin.

I was searching through the options on the Garmin and found a selection for languages.  So you can change languages for both text and voices.  For example, if you want American English, you can select a male or female voice.  Strangely, there are Australian and British English voices too.  So picked an Australian English voice, named “Karen”.  The American English “Jill” was too robotic, and the British English “Emily” was too stuffy.  What I really wanted was the voice of Majel Barrett, who played Nurse Chapel on Star Trek but, more importantly, was the voice of the Star Trek computer in STNG.  Sadly, she left this world two years ago.  :(

So Karen took us around Ireland.  She did good the vast majority of the time, although she was horrendously lost in the Dublin Airport.  Too many turns and she was putting rotaries where there were none.  We switched her off and navigated the old fashioned way: by following signs.

I found myself having a hard time crossing the streets.  Still looking for traffic coming the wrong way.  In Dublin, they had handy little words painted on the road at the sidewalk’s edge, for foreigners like me. 

I wanted to buy gifts for folks again, but I couldn’t stand walking around in the cold in Dublin very long.  I managed to pick up a small trinket for my sister because I knew where the touristy store was.  I bought Mom and Dad some bread at a bakery in Mullingar where I had lunch.

I bought a fair amount of chocolate while I was there.  Among it all was a box of Lily O’Brien’s truffles.  Just a yummy truffle with a soft flowing center.  Fortunately, I took a picture before they were all gone.

By the way, sorry these picture are so big.  I don’t really have time today to go through and crop them all down.  Hopefully, the thumbs are big enough to see the picture well, without having to open them all.

I arrive home last night after a fairly uneventful flight.  I used US Airways this time, instead of Aer Lingus.  I think, US Airways is not as nice.  The plane was smaller, and people seemed crankier.  Although, it was nice to leave and return to the airport near my home, instead of Boston.  Nothing like coming home from a 7 hour flight, only to get in the car and drive for another 4.

My new shoes arrived while I was gone.  Asics Hyper XC spikeless.  I tried them on and walked around with the.  The toe pocket seems pretty roomy.  They are much stiffer than my Adizero PR’s.  A little heavier too.

After walking around, I decided I’m going to keep them and give them a run today.  I’m a little worried the stiffness will be a problem, but maybe it will be ok.  There are no removable spikes on these, but there are rubber nubs on the ball where spikes would be.   I can feel them while walking indoors, but its possible they will be fine on the road.  If not, I can cut them off without feeling badly about it.

So I will be going running today, the first time in about two weeks.  Life, weather, and darkenss has totally gotten in the way, and then travel completely obliterated my running.  I have gained about 1200 pounds now and am disgusted with myself.  Pants don’t fit well.  I need to get my fat butt back on the wagon.  I have today off from work, so its a good time to go running while I have daylight to do it.

more searching

More strange searches that brought people here:

how much chocolate instead of viagra – I’m thinking its going to be a lot

why are my morning runs harder – see previous answer

Dead Runner – as a matter of fact, it felt like that today

used enrober baby – oh yeah, baby!

running again after four children blog – you’re going to need to run a lot faster if you want to catch them

are puma lift running shoes good for running – nope!

how to cure crunchy knees – stop putting granola in them?

sza sza gabor – what the?

eating chocolate before a race – definitely!

I’m a runner that doesn’t run races – I’m a runner who does!

wind and rain

I had a lovely week in Cape Cod.  We drove 7 hours in bumper to bumper traffic (3 extra hours of fun), to enjoy the high winds and rain for three days straight.  The eastern part of the state got nearly 5 inches of rain, and we got to sit in the motel room and pout.  Next year I’m staying home.

I did get to go run on the Cape Cod Rail Trail.

The train that used to run the length of the cape, disappeared long ago, so the track space was made into a running path, which is similar to the trolley running path that is here at home.  With one exception.  The cape rail trail runs over 20 miles long, so you can get any long run in that you need, and pretty much cover cyling too.

The trail is mostly flat, with an occasional slight incline.  Nicely paved, with some road crossings, but here in MA, the cars are supposed to stop when you step off the curb.  I never tested it by just running headlong into traffic, but the cars did slow down when I stopped at the crossings.  I took the pictures above on the day we left, which turned out to be just lovely.  Of course.

I got some very good runs in during the rain and wind.  A few hardy runners out there but mostly it was clear running the whole way.  The flat path made for faster running than I should have done, but I figured if it was flat, there wasn’t much harm is going faster because it all evened out in the end:

5 miles, 8:11/mile
8 miles, 7:47/mile
5 miles, 8:22/mile

I made a visit to Stage Stop Candy in Dennisport.  They had these tiny little chocolates that they labeled as “trifles” although I thought a trifle was something different.

Its hard to tell from the image, but they are about half an inch in diameter and look like the outer chocolate shell is molded.  They each had some kind of confectioner’s paint sprayed on the very top, with a few sprinkles.  The filling is a soft, tart fruit flavor.  Just wonderful!  The smell in the box was a bit odd though.  I’m not sure if it was just the mixture of flavors all together like that.  Still, I really liked them.

During the rain, we spent a lot of time at the mall and I even went to the movies.  I had a chance to see “Inception”, which was mega awesome, although it left me with strange questioning feeling about reality, much like The Matrix did.  The special effects were fabulous and I like the intricate plot and plots within plots.  Nice!

I don’t like Leonardo Dicaprio, because I think his head is just too big.  Something happened to him between “What’s eating Gilbert Grape” and this movie.  He looks odd.  Ellen Page was interesting, yet pointless in this movie.  I think they just wanted to throw in some cute young babe to balance out “Mol” who was bouncing around in Leo’s head.  I was thinking Sandra Bullock would have been better in that spot.  And Michael Caine?  I like him, but why was he in this movie?  Was he backstage walking around when they happened to be shooting?

Rest day tomorrow and then 13 miles on Sunday.  We have a neighborhood block party on Sunday and I may go out on Dad’s boat tomorrow.  Finally some nice weather to enjoy.


Here’s a few search terms that brought people here this week (comments added for fun):

I’m a runner but like chocolate on my menstrual cycle – Coincidentally, I’m a runner and I like chocolate on everyone’s menstrual cycle.

chocolate coated runner – If I had enough chocolate…

chocolate ran kid gets killed – Maybe it was the chocolate coated kid.

female runner boy shape – And you found my site because of this?

you were made for this
– Hell yeah.

chocolate bad running – No, chocolate good, running bad.

write something about chocolate – Soon!  I promise!

psst, are you awake?

I am.  I couldn’t sleep tonight.  I’ve been up since 1 AM watching reruns of Bones on Hulu.

I wanted to do a Christmas post.  I wanted to talk about locally made truffles that I bought.  I wanted to talk about seeing an old friend this weekend.

But I’m too tired and Christmas just killed me this year.  There’s way too much to the secular part of this “holiday”.  Its a nightmare.  Blaring holiday tunes that pound in my head from the moment I walk into the store.  Like some crazed mantra pushing me to buy as much as possible to lift the merchants out of their financial problems.

Why do people think that spending money we don’t have, to buy things made in other countries, is going be any kind of permanent fix?  Maybe they don’t.  Maybe they just want to get what they can, while they can.

Have you seen the commercials for China?  Oh yes.  China is marketing itself so people feel better about buying “made in China”.  Maybe its just pointing the finger at someone else.  “Don’t blame us.  We just make the stuff.  Someone else owns the company.”   Creepy.

I was supposed to go to lunch today with some friends (real world people that I know).  But I don’t know.  My head hurts.  I haven’t felt right since the Israeli woman poisoned me.  As I type this, I realized I didn’t get to tell the story.

In the mall, they are these kiosks in the hallways, where women are selling Dead Sea salt products.  Lotions.  Ointments.  Makeup. Stuff.  They are well known for their aggressive sales tactics.  And most of them are very beautiful.  Part of the plan.

So, I’m walking through the mall and one of these women stops me.

“Can I ask you a question?”


“Are you married?”


“How many wives do you have?”


“Well, I have a gift for each of them.”

She never missed a beat.  She was a polished pro.  She said she was Israeli and that’s why she had such an outrageous accent.  She took my hand and led me over to her lair table.  She buffed one of my nails with a $5 buffing bar and showed me how shiny it was.  Then she tried to sell me the buffing bar for $60.  I decline with flirtatious banter and silliness.

She moved on to some type of almond oil/sea salt hand cleaner.  I washed my hands with it while she sprayed it with water from a spray bottle.  The entire time throughout these exchanges, she stood very close to me.  Right up against me in fact.  Being male, this was a terribly hard thing to resist.  But I did with all kinds of crazy excuses.  I must have spent 15-20 minutes with her by this point.

Then she said she had one more thing to show me because I was driving her crazy (can you imagine me being annoying?).  She took out some kind of defoliant (is that right word?  It removes dead skin), and she rubbed is on the back of my hand, explaining that this is normally used on your face.

As this point I was watching her rub the back of my hand in big circles, and felt a little funny.  Not unpleasant, but just a relaxing lightheadedness.   And then she took out some kind of special lotion that she said would close the pores in my skin.  And then it happened.

As she rubbed in the lotion, my vision began to rapidly narrow, my head was rushing with blood and sounds got muffled.  I saw the fuzzy colors you get when have headrush from standing up too fast.  I was dizzy and nautious, and I finally had to interrupt her talking to say I had to sit down.

There was a bench nearby and I sat down, trying to think if I should tell them anything before I passed out.  I was sweating like crazy and wondering if I was having a stroke or a heart attack.  Checked my pulse, felt like about 60.  one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand.  Seemed ok.

She brought me a bottle of water and asked if I was taking any medication or if there was someone there in the mall with me.  She was clearheaded for a slick saleswoman.

I must have sat there for about 10 minutes.  The dizziness subsided but the nausea was still there.  My face was cold from sweat.  She told me I looked very pale.

Eventually, I got up and left.  I walked upstairs and called my wife to let her know I was on the way home.  In case they needed to look for my body.

I still had all the goop on my hands, but I just wanted to get to the car and go home.  I drove with two fingers to keep the stuff off the steering wheel.  I stopped at Price Chopper to wash my hands.  I was feeling pretty good, but even as I went to wash the back of my hand, as soon as I touched it, the wave of nausea came over me again.

I washed me hands very thoroughly and went home.

I have no idea what was in the stuff she put on my hand.  I thought about going back and finding them and getting the ingredients, but just the thought of seeing that kiosk again, makes me ill.  A quick Google search for “dead sea women annoying” yields hundreds of complaints about these saleswomen.  Bad guaranties, aggressive tactics, but no mention of people getting sick.


I hope your week has been better.

With apologies to Brad Paisley

To the tune of “The Fishing Song

Well I love her
But I love to race
I spend all weekend on the road
And dust is all I chase
Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I ran one more 5K today
She’d be packin’ all her things
And she’d be gone by noon

Well I’m gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I’m on this race coarse
And I’m runnin’ like the wind
I’m sure it’ll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I’m gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there’s another mile

Now there’s a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But this course is flat
And the weather’s perfect
Hey! I think I might PR today

Well I’m gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I’m on this race coarse
And I’m runnin’ like the wind
I’m sure it’ll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I’m gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there’s another mile

Yeah, I’m gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there’s another mile

because I’m a guy

I can’t help but grin when the cashier at the supermarket asks me “Do you want your meat in plastic?”.


Food porn anyone?

For those who like food?  Here’s your daily dose.  :)

I’m ignoring it.  I don’t need food like that.  I like lettuce.  And bran.  And water.  Bleh.

I’m still busy beyond belief.  Crazy.  Like I want to run away kind of busy.  Tomorrow I’m going to a dinner for the local chamber of commerce.  Tonight I happened to look at the invite and realized it was BLACK TIE.


Run to the only tux shop in town and shell out my $93.   The good news was that tux sizes run large so I am thinner in a tux.  Makes sense?  It does to me.

Simple pleasures

I got tagged by Pam for this virus meme. 10 simple pleasures. Let’s see.

1. Chocolate (d’ya think?)

2. afternoon naps in the summertime with the windows open and the cicadas buzzing outside

3. fishing when the fish aren’t biting and I have all day to drink cold lemonade and eat chicken sandwiches from a cooler

4. warm slippers after being outside in the snow, when my pant cuffs are wet, and my feet are cold

5. the $1 afternoon re-run matinee and a giant bucket of popcorn

6. the pop-pop sound of the gatorade cups falling on the ground as I pass through the aid station at mile 10

7. grilled chicken, no sauce, no nothing, just smoke and grill

8. a ten dollar bill tucked in my pants pocket after I thought I’d lost it a week ago

9. the smell of old wood and scented candles at the old country store in my home town

10. an email from an online buddy saying “tag” :)