weekended

I spent the weekend on a ski/snowshoe camping trip with my son’s new boyscout troop.  I went as a “parent helper”.  I had wanted to be an assistant scout master in the troop, but it seems that’s reserved for the guys who came up from the old pack and had been den leaders there and had all the experience.  They do need people on the committee in support roles (keeping track of the gear, treasurer), but it wasn’t what I was looking for.  So, I go on trips as an adult helper and help carpool and assist with cleanup and carrying stuff for kids who are having trouble with gear, etc.

The weekend was ok.  I was a little bothered by the lord-of-the-flies behavior out of the boys.  They had all done well at troop meetings, but it got a little disturbing during the camp out.  My son is a little rambunctious, to say the least.  Its annoying, I know.  He tends to cross the line more often than most, so he gets targeted easily by the “cool kids”.  That and he doesn’t fight back, either physically or verbally.  I know he knows how to hurt people with words or fists, but he knows better than to hit kids where they are most sensitive, either on their body or in their heart.  So, they took advantage of it.  :(

Examples.  The kids moved all the bunks around when they got there.  The bunks can stack up and you can make little forts and crazy stuff.  They moved them all around to where they wanted them, but when my son tried to get a bunk near the others, they moved him over to the corner.  The kids were all climbing on the bunks and horsing around, but when my son got near one of their bunks, they would all yell at him and tell him to get off their bunk.  None of them seemed to have any issue climbing on his bunk as a way around the room.  So, he mostly sat on his bunk and just kinda watched the fun, like he was spectator at a football game.  Enjoying the show, but not part of it.  :(

At one point, the patrol leader stepped into the situation and pointed out exactly what the kids were doing.  They all reluctantly agreed to let him be part of the fun by letting him sit on a bunk of theirs while they talked about stuff.  He didn’t jump all over the bunks and was well behaved during it.  He was happy just to be included.

I try to stay out of it and let him handle as much as he can.  If I’m always jumping it, I’m afraid it will make him feel incapable.  We spent some time at the table by the wood stove, we spent all day saturday together skiing (in the rain!), and it was mostly us together while snowshoeing.  My bunk was under his and we were bunked near the Scout Master.

At one point, I had to leave to go to the store and pick up a small propane bottle.  The power had gone out due to the ice storm and the cabin needed a light (propane lantern).  I drove quite a ways away because the local Stewarts store said they didn’t carry it (which apparently was a total lie by them).

When I got back, I found my son sitting quietly on his bunk, with one of the assistant scout masters (the guys with the experience?) near him and a couple kids sitting nearby.  Uh oh.  Apparently, he was upset because when he asked where I was, the leader had told him I went home!  Thanks, guy.  You did a great job.  The kid feels insecure enough, and you go and tell him that his only source of support has abandoned him.  You are a marvelous leader.  Now I know my son is not safe being left alone in your troop for for 30 minutes.

The whole incident made me feel really unhappy about the troop.  I felt he had fit in when he first joined.  It was a new group and they were very welcoming.  But when the new scouts came from other cub scout packs, and the same kids came up from his old pack, it all changed.  The leaders have their favorites, the kids have their favorites, and my son ends up being lonely when he is supposed to be having fun with other scouts at these events.  I wanted to talk to him about it on the way home, but the truck was full of other scouts.  Probably tonight he’ll bring it up.  It takes a few days to for him to process it all and then come back with how he feels about it.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 8:19 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.