Can ya hear this? Good.
Just a quick word to Verizon.
You suck, Verizon.
I just wanted to make sure someone told you that today. I’m sure that many, many people agree with me, but maybe you haven’t been told lately. You suck. You suck giant sweaty donkey dicks.
And to the morons that run the Verizon store in Clifton Park, New York? You are all a bunch of stupid losers who couldn’t find their asses with two hands and a flashlight.
Ms. Overly-made-up-jackass-manager? You are a complete doofus. Wipe off your damn face and wash your hair once in a while.
Ms. Sawed-off-bimbo-service-counter-person? You are completely useless. Learn the policies, get a damn nametag, and for Pete’s sake button your damn shirt.
Mr. Big-and-stupid-counter-dork? You don’t understand store policy so shut up and continue to restock the phones in the cabinet and keep your fat mouth shut.
Ms. Hair-is-too-damn-long-idiot? You obviously learned about store policy from Mr. Big-and-stupid-counter-dork, that’s why you don’t know what is going on either.
It should have been easy to move my cell phone to NY. It should have been easy to bundle our services when we got here. No. Its not. “Customer Service” tells us one thing and “Customer Care” tells us something else.
Hey, Ms. Overly-made-up-jack-ass-manager, what’s the difference between “Customer Service” and “Customer Care” anyway?
“Well, they service customers by phone.”
Thankyou. And here I thought I’d get a stupid, moronic, useless answer, but thanks to your fucking genius, I am competely enlightened.
Verizon, please kiss my fat hairy ass. I hope your rotten company goes bankrupt and everyone that works for you develops a fatal case of genital warts, you stupid, useless, flaming asswipes.
September 15th, 2006 02:30
And I can add real estate agents in that rant :-)
September 15th, 2006 08:10
Nice rant! But…now I’m scared to ask…do you really have a fat hairy ass? Eeeewwww….
September 15th, 2006 09:31
one day if I get riled up enough again, I’ll post about the nightmare that ensued when Hub left his Verizon phone in a NYC cab on our trip. Total idiocy, complemented by incompentency, compounded by complete lack of customer service. grrr.
September 15th, 2006 11:42
are they any relation to Mr. Rotten? thanks for the laugh!!
September 15th, 2006 22:26
Reading this, one might think you had issues,LOL! Jon, think DECAF before you blow up that atheletes heart that sits over that fat hairy ass! Hehehehe… Run Good!
September 16th, 2006 19:05
I am sending you some Dixie cups via UPS overnight. I am sure they will work as well as Verizon and cost far less.
September 16th, 2006 23:30
I just knew you had a hairy ass.
prrr
September 17th, 2006 22:02
Oh come on Jon - quit holding back. Tell us how you really feel!
I can’t believe you have that many people in your Verizon store. At ours you have to stand in this loooong line and wait for a total idiot to tell you that you need to talk to the other total idiot. It’s really fun.
September 19th, 2006 14:43
OMG - I am laughing so hard. This is a WONDERFUL rant. Priceless!!!