New Year’s Resolutions, Etc.

January is a strange time of year for runners, since we are already taking care of many of the top New Year’s resolutions.

But that doesn’t mean the practice is completely without merit. I’ve generated a few for myself:
• Come up with a snappy name for this column. [Ed.’s note: Amen!]
• Eat all the bread, pasta and potatoes that non-runners are passing up as part of their New Year’s resolutions.
• Go out slow at the start of races (rolled over from 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 and 2003).
• Launch “Innuendo Products for Runners,” featuring Body Glide Warm FX Muscle Activator and Stiff Stick.
• Geezer as many runners as possible.
• Avoid talking about feet or the gastrointestinal system in front of non-runners.
• Only drink the post-race beer before 10 a.m. if I PR.
• Create a new name for fartleks.
• Abstain from buying any runner’s watch that computes position through a sun-moon LOP after correcting for coriolis effect, refraction, parallax in altitude and magnetic variation.
• Think of a better idea for a column in January 2009.