New Year’s Resolutions, Etc.

Posted by Filed Under: Running is Funny

newyear.jpgJanuary is a strange time of year for runners, since we are already taking care of many of the top New Year’s resolutions.

    But that doesn’t mean the practice is completely without merit. I’ve generated a few for myself:

  • Come up with a snappy name for this column. [Ed.’s note: Amen!]
  • Eat all the bread, pasta and potatoes that non-runners are passing up as part of their New Year’s resolutions.
  • Go out slow at the start of races (rolled over from 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004 and 2003).
  • Launch “Innuendo Products for Runners,” featuring Body Glide Warm FX Muscle Activator and Stiff Stick.
  • Geezer as many runners as possible.
  • Avoid talking about feet or the gastrointestinal system in front of non-runners.
  • Only drink the post-race beer before 10 a.m. if I PR.
  • Create a new name for fartleks.
  • Abstain from buying any runner’s watch that computes position through a sun-moon LOP after correcting for coriolis effect, refraction, parallax in altitude and magnetic variation.
  • Think of a better idea for a column in January 2009.

About Mike Antonucci

I ran 6-minute miles when I was in the military, then tapered for 20 years. Two-time marathoner (3:43 PR), my next goal is to stay healthy enough to run another. There are literally thousands of people handing out running advice and serious tips. I prefer to focus on the humorous or odd facets of our shared obsession. Let's face it, running is funny.

One Comment
  1. kch on January 4th at 8:08 am

    I like your ‘geezer as many runners as possible’ goal.

    As for me, this is the year I train for and run and marathon – something I haven’t done for over ten years (although I have run several halfs in the meantime).