Murphy Was a Runner

Posted by Filed Under: Fun & Jokes, Running Tips

Your chances of an injury rise proportionally with the amount of the entry fee you just paid.

If a race brochure says “no dogs or strollers,” you will see a dog get hit by a stroller.

You will set a PR the day your chip falls off at the starting line.

If that cute guy/girl is checking out your butt, it’s because you split your shorts.

You will apply Vaseline to your back and BenGay to your … chafed areas.

At Mile 24 of your marathon, the aid station will be handing out espresso-flavored Clif Shots.

Your finish line photo will show you with happy boobs … and you’re a guy.

After waiting in line for 45 minutes, your Porta-Potty will be out of paper … and seat covers … and then the lock will jam.

As you sprint to the finish you will be nosed out by a 10-year-old girl.

Medical research will reveal that eating half-bananas causes sterility.

You win the Boston Marathon and find someone else is wearing the laurel wreath.

You’re mistaken for an elite runner, but it’s Secretariat.

You set the alarm properly, eat a sensible breakfast, stretch, warm up, pack your gear, and get to the starting line in plenty of time … because you forgot the race is tomorrow.

About Mike Antonucci

I ran 6-minute miles when I was in the military, then tapered for 20 years. Two-time marathoner (3:43 PR), my next goal is to stay healthy enough to run another. There are literally thousands of people handing out running advice and serious tips. I prefer to focus on the humorous or odd facets of our shared obsession. Let's face it, running is funny.

  1. thodarumm on July 20th at 4:34 pm


  2. Dawn - Pink Chick on July 23rd at 11:11 pm

    That last one actually happened to me but the race was the day before…doh!

    Good thing it wasn’t one I had to pre-register for. It was a small trail race that you sign up for the day of. I was new to town and for some silly reason thought the race was on Sunday.

    Saturday had been a nice sunny day. Sunday the temperature dropped to like -25C. I went anyway. Since the race start was only 2k from my place I jogged over to the meeting spot. No one around. Hmmm, maybe that should have been my first clue. I waited and ran around the parking lot to stay warm finally 1/2hour after was was to be start time I gave up and figured the “wimps” had called it due to cold temperatures.

    I posted an email about it on our group side. Later I got a reply telling me I should check the race schedule as the trail races are ALWAYS on the SATURDAY. Boy did I feel dumb. Strangely enough, I’m now the race director for that very event, so I will never again mix up the date/day…lol.

  3. Becca on July 8th at 6:08 pm

    This is hilarious. I always keep Murphy’s Law in mind: I work at a children’s summer camp, and we NEVER let the kids go to the bathroom during carpool, because that’s inevitably when their ride arrives to pick them up.