You Know You’re a Runner When …

Posted by Filed Under: Fun & Jokes

  1. You can say “fartlek” and “yassos” without giggling. Wait. That”s almost impossible. If you”ve ever done one of those two workouts, that counts.
  2. You can convert kilometers to miles or vice versa. Sometimes, you can even do that while running.
  3. You know exactly how many miles there are in a marathon.
  4. You have had at least one toe nail become purple or black, and it wasn”t because you were wearing the hottest toenail polish color.
  5. Two words: bloody nipples.
  6. Two more words: weiner bite.
  7. You proudly don your reflective vest and headlamp in order to run in the dark. You refuse to believe that you look dorky. You look like a safe runner.
  8. You can discuss bodily fluids and gastrointestinal issues without flinching. Thinking “ewwww” never crosses your mind. Usually, you are thinking “I hope that doesn’t happen to me” or “Ugh. I hate when that happens.”
  9. You have a vague idea that one lap around a track is equal to a quarter mile, two laps equals a half mile, etc. (Note: This does not mean that you can do math and run simultaneously, or that you will remember these handy track facts when you start your track workout.)
  10. Getting up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning to run for two to three hours doesn”t sound like an outlandish, cruel punishment. Instead, it sounds like the perfect way to start your weekend.

About Dianna

Dianna, also known as the Running Chick with the Orange Hat (Running Chick for short) moved from being a periodic gym rat to a runner in January of 2003 during a botched New Year's resolution. Her newly rediscovered fondness for running quickly blossomed into a full-blown obsession. Within a year and a half, she went from suffering through two miles on the treadmill to running a marathon. Cotton was discarded for wicking fabrics and gel was no longer something she put in her hair. Since then, she has continued to challenge herself, first with achieving her Boston Qualifying time, then running a PR at Boston and doing an occasional sprint distance triathlon. Future endeavors include a trail marathon and longer distance triathlons. Dianna has been blogging about her running adventures since April 2004, even getting an article 'published' online at Runner's World as well as capturing the attention of a local news channel. She can discuss all things related to running, swimming, and biking, at great length, without ever getting bored. In her free time, she enjoys pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, with her husband and multi-racial canine in Connecticut, U.S.A.

  1. Soozan on October 10th at 7:43 am

    Can I still laugh at weiner bite? Hee.

  2. Joe Ely on October 10th at 8:09 am

    Di, one more, which happened to me yesterday:

    You know you are a runner when a work colleague and fellow runner stops by to wish you a happy birthday and immediately asks “Are you in a new age group now?”

    Alas…no…two more years…then my BQ gets to 3:45….

  3. Joe Ely on October 10th at 8:10 am

    I love #10, Dianna. Exactly where I start my weekends. And completely incomprehensible. Except here!!!

  4. Melisa (Irish Blue) on October 10th at 12:23 pm

    It is amazing how those Saturday morning runs become something you actually look forward to.

    I know I look like a dork when I run because my kids refuse to be seen with me! I just pull my hat down really low and hope my neighbors don’t recognize me.

  5. Dori on October 10th at 1:32 pm

    Thanks for the laff. But I never heard of Weiner Bite. I’m guessing it’s not when you get bitten by one of those little weiner dogs when you’re out on a run.

  6. Blaine Moore (Run to Win) on October 10th at 2:19 pm

    Weiner bite is easy to laugh at when you are immune from it, ladies.

    I’ll tell you from experience, though, that the only thing worse than weiner bite is trying to get into a hot shower before you have completely thawed out…

  7. Michelle on October 11th at 5:26 am

    Hmmm! Sounds like a run a had with my running partner last weekend at 6:30am on a Saturday talking about gross bodily fluids. I am runner!

  8. Chris on October 11th at 10:15 am

    You know your a runner if you keep an icepack in the fridge at work.

  9. Jank on October 11th at 8:17 pm

    … If your most expensive pair of shoes gets changed out a couple of times a year

  10. Karen in Calgary on October 13th at 6:16 pm

    #2 – It drives my non-running husband NUTS when I interchange metric and imperial distances in conversations. On really long runs I amuse myself by calculating my pace in both systems.

    If it weren’t for #8 I would never have taken anal chafing seriously or serious chafing anally… whatever – good runners share gross lessons!

    #13 … Your vacation schedule gets planned around your race schedule.

  11. Dawn - Pink Chick on October 14th at 9:49 am

    I was reading through the comments and came up with few more for the list.

    “You know you’re a runner when you know what things like BQ, PB, PR,DFL and others stand for.”

    “You own more running shoes then you do dress shoes.”

  12. Kristen on March 9th at 4:24 pm

    I can totally relate to a lot of these.

    First of all, I don’t think fartlek is a funny word at all…especially after I’ve run it. : ]

    Also, another one could be, “You know you’re a runner if you run 6 miles on a day off.”

  13. Peter on May 20th at 7:27 am


    I know you wrote this a while ago, but I loved it and thought it quite funny. I actually wrote about it on my running blog and hope you’ll check it out:

    Anyways, thanks again for the amusing piece!

    Peters last blog post..A Running Knowledge Of All Things Running

  14. Lorraine on November 9th at 8:25 am

    You know you’re a runner when you keep body glide next to your garmin next to your heart rate monitor next to your road id.