We’ve run with them, near them or seen them doing their thing from afar. They are the runners exhibiting the rude, gross behaviour none of us wants to see. Interested in joining their club? Here’s how you do it:
1. Spit and blow your nose wherever and whenever it feels right with no regard for anyone around you.
2. Wash your running gear as infrequently as possible.
3. No matter how slow you are, put yourself at the front of the start line at races.
4. Guys: Run up behind female runners and then stay there (they love it … really they do).
5. Gals: Treat all male runners who smile or say “hi” to you while running with disdain because of your suspicion they’re like the guys in #4.
6. Confuse and anger motorists by ignoring traffic lights and crossing streets in heavy traffic.
7. Don’t wave to let bikers coming from behind know that you heard their bell.
8. Be very quiet when passing other runners or walkers and then scare the heck out of them by brushing quickly past their shoulders.
9. At the gym, leave your gear in a pile at the bottom of your locker for several days so it ripens for everyone’s enjoyment.
10. When running with one or more people, crowd the trail and don’t share it with others.
Practice what’s on this list and you are guaranteed admission to the Rude, Gross Runner’s Club. Do you have any other tickets for admission to this not so exclusive club?